While many 14-year-olds might roll their eyes at the prospect of a summer holiday abroad with their parents, the idea struck pure terror in Hayley.
She had been severely physically and emotionally abused by her mother and father from a young age, and being in a place where no one knew them would only put her at greater risk.
“The abuse was more isolated,” Hayley, who speaks under a pseudonym, told FEMAIL.
This vacation was a turning point for the teenager, who realized she had to make a plan to leave her abusive parents.
Hayley had been abused for as long as she could remember. Other members of her family have told him that they remember seeing signs of abuse from her when she was “in her crib.”
Hayley had been severely physically and emotionally abused from a young age by her mother and father (file photo)
On this family vacation, he finally reached out to a family member he could trust and asked for help.
‘My parents are abusing me, I need help. “I need to get out right away,” he told the relative.
Hayley only had a short time to talk before her parents returned from a shopping trip, but she remembers her relative “instantly knowing” how desperate her situation was.
“Upsetting my parents would have its own consequences,” Hayley pointed out. But what worried me most was that it would get worse. I had to put them aside.’
She and her relative came up with a plan to call Childline once she returned from vacation, but according to Hayley, asking for help didn’t give her the sanctuary she hoped for.
Shortly after the phone call, social services showed up at Hayley’s door and questioned her about her abuse claims. However, she said her parents were “in the next room” the entire time.
“I remember (the social workers) talking to my parents, calming them down and then leaving.” Hayley said. She added that she was too scared to go into details about the physical abuse she had suffered at the hands of her parents because they were home at the time.
However, after reporting her parents for the first time, Hayley remembers feeling stubborn and having to move on. So when she went back to school, now 15 years old, she told her teachers about the situation at home.
“That’s when the police intervened,” he explained.
After feeling let down by social services, Hayley recalled feeling hopeful that the police would listen to her story. However, instead of being invited to a police interview, she claims she was taken to a mental health evaluation center where she was asked questions about her abuse while her parents were in her room.
Hayley recalled: “The woman was asking me, ‘How do you think your parents are abusing you? How do you think this is affecting them?’
Hayley had been abused for as long as she could remember. Other members of her family have told her that they remember seeing signs of abuse from her when she was “in her cot” (file photo)
She claims that at the end of the interview, the woman who interviewed her “threatened” her that she would be arrested if she stayed true to her story.
“He said if I kept reporting it, they would lock me up,” Hayley recalled through tears.
If they put the belt on me and gave me injections, I would be out of danger. They would prevent me from seeing anyone. It was very sinister.’
Hayley believes that her parents’ reputation as “reputable” members of society, who worked in the medical profession, meant that the authorities were less likely to take action against them.
Although she maintained throughout her teenage years that her parents were abusive, Hayley recalls how her parents launched a charm offensive with her teachers and her friends’ parents, in an attempt to convince others that Hayley’s story was false.
Meanwhile, he was exploring all his options: interviewing charities that ran shelters and homeless shelters to try to find somewhere else to live.
“They told me I wasn’t eligible for a lot of these places,” he recalled.
The abuse at home did not improve, and Hayley’s parents frequently locked her in the house and took away her phone.
“I can’t believe I made it to 18,” he said. “They were four very miserable years.”
Her grades began to suffer as her mental health continued to worsen and Hayley eventually had to leave school due to frequent panic attacks around the time she was studying for her GCSEs. Her physical health also declined in her teens and she was eventually diagnosed with MS.
“I was quite sick during that period. I was pretty bedridden for six months due to chronic migraines,” she said.
Hayley began learning herself from home, but says she did not do well in her GCSEs as her final scores were based on grades predicted by her teachers who had not seen her for some time.
When it came time to study for her A levels, Hayley was already doing everything she could to save money from part-time work in the kitchen. Her goal remained the same; move out as soon as she could.
When she turned 18, Hayley managed to move after saving for just three months, something she thought had been made easier due to the pandemic.
But although she had managed to find respite from her parents, the teenager was still desperate to go to university, which she believed would help free her from them for good.
Although she maintained throughout her adolescence that her parents were abusive, Hayley recalls how her parents went on a charm offensive with her teachers and her friends’ parents in an attempt to convince others that Hayley’s story was false (photo by archive).
Still not well enough to attend school and study, Hayley partnered with a retired teacher who agreed to tutor her for free. After much study combined with her part-time job, she completed her A levels and secured a place at university.
“My university is fantastic, I love the course,” he said. ‘I have always loved learning, but school was never right for me. I always had the belief that in the right environment I would really enjoy it and learn a lot.
“I wish I could keep doing it forever.”
However, although Hayley’s academic life was finally on track, she was still being bullied by her parents, who were trying to contact her by any means necessary.
On one occasion they forced their way into her apartment, leaving her fearing for her safety.
After feeling let down by the authorities who were supposed to protect her when she reported the abuse, Hayley wasn’t sure who to turn to next and spoke to a university worker about her situation.
The staff member put Hayley in touch with Advance, a charity that supports women, children and young people affected by domestic and sexual violence, debt, substance abuse and mental health problems.
She was soon assigned a caseworker who helped her overcome her parents’ abuse and presented an option that Hayley didn’t know was available to her.
The support worker explained the purpose of non-sexual abuse orders and informed Hayley that she could consider going to court to make such an order against her parents which would prevent them from having contact with her.
“Advance was the first organization of any kind that believed me about my story and the crimes that had taken place at home,” Hayley said, describing the relief she felt at finally finding some support for her situation.
The charity helped her get legal help so she could apply for the order.
“I didn’t know what they were beforehand,” he said. “It’s a great option because you don’t have to go through criminal court and I didn’t feel safe enough to go to the police.”
Hayley’s non-molestation order, which was made against her parents last May, states that they must not enter her home or come within 100 meters of any property where they believe she might be living.
They are also prohibited from contacting her unless through a lawyer, and cannot “harass,” “molest” her, or threaten her with violence.
“Having legal protection is a huge relief,” Hayley said, as she explained that she is now looking forward to her future.
She added that she has always had an interest in writing, but has been inspired to explore a career in law and plans to convert her undergraduate degree.
‘I have so many plans. “I have a lot of people who believe in my potential,” he said.