When people face their own mortality, they experience a variety of emotions and gain perspective on their lives.
A palliative care nurse who works at Old Colony Hospice in Massachusetts wrote a blog postwhich has since resurfaced and reveals the top five regrets people express on their deathbeds.
He explained that he was with his patients during the last three to twelve weeks of their lives and was able to gain insight into their thinking in their final days.
He revealed that each patient experienced “denial, fear, anger, regret, more denial and finally acceptance.”
Although reassuringly, the nurse said each patient “found peace” before passing away.
A palliative care nurse, who works at Old Colony Hospice in Massachusetts, wrote a blog post, which has since resurfaced, revealing the top five regrets people feel on their deathbed (file image)
He explained that he was with his patients during the last three to twelve weeks of their lives and was able to gain insight into their thinking in their final days (file image)
1. Not living for themselves
The nurse explained that the most common regret of all was that people wished they had the courage to live the life they wanted; instead of the life that others expected of them.
When people realized that their life was almost over, they were able to look back clearly and see how many dreams were not fulfilled.
Most people realized that they hadn’t fulfilled even half of their dreams and died regretting the decisions they made (or didn’t make).
2. Working too much
The nurse explained that men in particular often regretted not spending more time with their spouse or children during their lives.
Some women also spoke of this regret; However, as the nurse often dealt with patients of an older generation, she explained that male patients were typically breadwinners and spent much of their time at work, rather than with their families.
3. Hold things back
The nurse revealed that many people revealed that they had suppressed their feelings to keep peace with others.
As a result, they settled for a “mediocre existence” and never reached their full potential.
4. Losing contact with friends
Many only realized the full benefits of old friendships in their final weeks, however, it was not always possible to locate them at that time.
She said: “People got so caught up in their own lives that they had passed up golden friendships over the years.”
The nurse explained that people expressed “deep regret” for not having given their friends the time and effort they deserved.
5. Not allowing yourself to be happy
The nurse revealed that most people eventually realized that happiness was a choice.
She said: ‘The fear of change made them pretend to others and themselves that they were happy. Deep down, they longed to have a proper laugh and have silliness back in their lives.’
He explained that when you are dying, what others think of you doesn’t even come to mind.
And he concluded: ‘Life is a choice. It’s YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.’
