A man has left the internet divided after admitting he wants his wife to seek therapy before allowing her to be alone with their children.
The anonymous husband and father took to Reddit to share the reasons behind his insistence that his wife receive mental health care, detailing one particular incident that had left him worried that she would not be able to properly care for their young twins.
“My wife (30M) (26F) gave birth to twins in October,” the man wrote on the Am I The A**hole subreddit.
“A boy and a girl,” he continued. “Our son had lung problems at birth, which is relevant in this regard.”
A man’s instance of his wife seeking therapy has divided internet users after he admitted he doesn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone with their babies unless she seeks help (file image)
The man went on to explain that two weeks before sharing his post, his son had his first “breath-holding episode.”
“For those lucky enough to not know what they are, they are when a baby holds their breath out of fear, pain or shock,” he wrote.
According Mount Sinai It is not uncommon for young children to hold their breath when faced with a disturbing situation or sudden pain, causing them to turn blue or pale and faint.
“While this is alarming for parents, breath-holding attacks are generally not harmful,” the site noted.
However, the man’s wife was unaware of the condition and was inconsolable when it happened.
“When the breath-holding attack occurred, my wife was distraught,” the father recalled. She didn’t know what to do and started having a panic attack herself.
His wife managed to contact her father, who came over and took care of his children until she calmed down.
“Then they went to the emergency room and I found them there,” he recalled. ‘My FIL (father-in-law) knew what was happening but my wife insisted on going to the emergency room due to our son’s lung problem.’
The father said “fortunately” his son is fine; However, his wife has not coped well with the shock.
“Her anxiety has gotten worse millions of times and since that incident she has not been alone with the children,” he explained. ‘While I work, she usually spends the day with her parents and then I pick her up after work.
“Her parents are fine with it because they adore her and the children, but I’m worried that she no longer trusts herself as a mother,” she admitted.
“She’s told me she wants to be alone during the day with the kids again, but I think she should have at least one therapy appointment first.”
The responses to the publication were varied; Some criticized the man for his resistance to letting his wife be alone with his children, while others argued that he did it out of concern.
The worried husband said his insomnia had become “extremely severe” since the incident with his son and that he cannot be away from the children without suffering another panic attack.
“I’m worried about how she’ll manage on her own, but she thinks I’m an AH for suggesting she can’t take care of her own children,” he said, asking “AiTA?”
She later updated the post to clarify that she doesn’t think there was anything wrong with her reaction, just that she is traumatized by what happened and needs to see someone.
The responses to the publication were varied; Some criticized the man for his resistance to letting his wife be alone with his children, while others argued that he did it out of concern.
‘That’s EXACTLY how I see it too. In which case therapy could be helpful. “I feel like OP is acting out of concern, not contempt,” one user wrote.
‘NTA’. She is a first-time mother and has a child with health problems, it is normal for her to be nervous,’ another agreed. “While her reaction was extreme, and I agree that she could use someone to talk to about it, if this is a one-time thing, let her try to figure it out.”
“YTA, you are completely undermining her as a mother, which will only exacerbate her feelings of inadequacy,” another argued. ‘She did what she had to do when she was in crisis and now she feels better. Who are you to say she can’t be alone with her own children?
Others chimed in with their own postpartum experience.
“She’s probably so anxious and stressed that she doesn’t even feel like she has time to go to therapy,” one woman said. ‘I had a horrible experience like yours and it took me years to seek help. It would be very beneficial for her to receive a little help now instead of living in a constant state of fight or flight due to trauma already suffered.’