How to Stop Making the Same Mistakes in a New Relationship
Another romantic relationship ended in collapse; moreover, everything happened according to the standard scenario, a pattern you have dealt with various times. The partner is different, with the opposite character and moral values, but the problems in the relationship are the same. Why does it happen? Why can’t you start everything from scratch or at least find someone who wants to help you? How to stop this vicious circle and be a happy person? If this is all about you, read our article.
- Past mistakes in a new relationship: what does psychology say?
You can repeat the mistakes of the past indefinitely if you do not understand the origins and cause of such behaviour. Women seeking marriage often complain that all the men are the same when in reality, their problems lie in them. There are four human psychotypes formed in childhood and related to family relationships. As the majority of psychological problems come from childhood, you just need to deal with the causes and the time of their occurrence, and the question of how not to repeat the same mistakes will disappear by itself.
1. Normal attachment and the ability to easily build relationships
This psychotype rarely deals with the problem of dealing with the same mistakes. These people are developing quite normal relations with their partners. In childhood, such a child is emotionally attached to their mother but can easily do without her. They felt comfortable in kindergarten and at school and were used to trusting their family and sharing secrets with the parents. People with this type of affection grow
up in wise, full-fledged families where the child is treated as an adult and is not overly patronized.
2. Today I love, tomorrow I do not
This behavior is typical for people with childhood injuries. In families where the child was treated like a toy that adults can play with when they are in the mood for this, children grow up having problems that interfere with relationships. This person is at the same time afraid of close relationships and wants them. As a result, their behavior is unexpectable and constantly changing; they can be aggressive and then caring because they do not understand their emotions. Of course, living with such a merry-go-round cannot be a happy marriage. So such a person experiences constant breakups and cannot find the core of these hardships.
3. Nobody loves me
We have all got through such stage when we were teenagers; however, some people get stuck on it. Such children grow up in families where openly showing love and emotions is not welcomed. They feel not loved because all that their parents do is criticizing them. In adult relationships, this looks like a blatant tantrum: if their partner looked awkwardly, then did not give a compliment, and did not kiss them back, they will make a whole tragedy out of this. Partners simply cannot stand the constant pressure and leave.
4. Love at a distance
This is how people of this psychotype want to live. They will repeat the mistakes of the past, over and over again keeping their partner close to them. Relations are always cool-formal, without trust, mutual assistance, and joint plans for the future. In childhood, they were not close to their mothers, did not have warm feelings for them, and now they are projecting this onto a partner.
- How not to repeat the mistakes of the past in a new relationship
How to build healthy relationships if psychological barriers prevent this? Seek help from a psychologist, go to special classes. You can also cope with children’s grievances and reflexes on your own, but for this, you need to be able to analyze and admit your problems. Of course, if you blame your partner for the failures in the past relationship once again and don’t try to find out the real reason, the vicious circle will remain closed.
1. The law of attraction
Everything we do obeys one universal law – the law of attraction. Once having experienced pain and a break with a loved one, we constantly scroll through events in our heads, think about the past. Getting to know another person, we say to ourselves: “I wish he doesn’t turn out to be the same”, “if only this relationship doesn’t end as sadly”, and other endless “if only”. And so to speak, we attract the same scenario, because the universe does not perceive a negative particle.
2. Your mistakes are your essence
How to break the vicious circle and find happiness without working on yourself? There is no way. It is impossible to change another person, so start from yourself. Changing your attitude to the situation, to others, you can change your future. If you constantly experience similar problems no matter what is the person near you and what are the circumstances around, think about this