- Recently retired from all forms of football at only 29 years old.
- It has revealed the depth of a life-changing medical problem
- If you need help, please contact Lifeline 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636.
Every football-mad New Zealand kid grows up wanting to be an All Black, but one New Zealand star admitted he was terrified of being called up to play for his country due to his mental health battle.
Tom Robinson was a New Zealand rugby union player who played flanker and tight end for the Blues in Super Rugby and Northland in the National Provincial Championship.
He made his Super Rugby debut in 2019 and played over 50 caps for the Blues, scoring multiple tries and becoming a key forward.
Robinson was also called up to the All Blacks squad as injury cover in 2021, although he did not earn full international duty.
He announced his shock retirement from the sport in October, just shy of his 30th birthday, and has now revealed the role concussions played in that decision.
“In 2021, I had three concussions practically in one season,” he explained. ‘At the time I had about six or seven in total, I don’t remember. Too many concussions,” he told New Zealand Herald.
‘I remember my last season with Northland, I started to have stars in my vision. Even when he wasn’t doing contact things like lifting in a lineout. And it had happened before, but not as often.
Tom Robinson made the shocking decision to retire from rugby this year at just 29 years old.
The Auckland Blues star has opened up about the impact of concussion on his decision to hang up his boots.
So when Robinson was called up to the New Zealand camp that same year, his childhood dream of playing for the All Blacks suddenly became his worst fear.
“The thing about concussions is that you can never really prove if you have a concussion or not,” he said.
“You can do the return to play protocol, but it’s not like a knee where you can do a scan on your brain and it shows up if you have a concussion.
‘This battle sometimes lasted months. And I remember at the end of the Blues season there was a bit of talk about me being unlucky not to be in the All Blacks.
“But I was having this battle in my mind and I remember thinking, ‘I really hope they don’t call me.’
‘That was the last place I wanted to be. That was the dream. “My lifelong dream was to become an All Black and here I was, hoping they wouldn’t call me up.”
Robinson is now content in retirement, teaching yoga and starting a business called Zinc or Swim with his former Blues teammate Josh Goodhue.
Robinson (pictured center with teammates) said his concussion symptoms got so bad he hoped he wouldn’t get a call-up to play for the All Blacks.
But on his recent 30th birthday, he revealed how badly his concussion symptoms have affected his life.
‘This time last year I was in a dark place. “As a result of multiple concussions and the incessant thinking patterns I had developed related to concussions, I hit rock bottom, a place I thought I would never reach,” he said.
‘The purpose of sharing my experience is to help those who may be experiencing something similar, whether it be concussions or something else.
‘This is for anyone who has identified so much with that voice in their head, and that voice just won’t stop.
“Although there were many good and high moments during my rugby career, most people would probably never have guessed the internal battles I experienced during it.
‘I think this is the case for many people, regardless of their profession.
‘Now that I look back, I wouldn’t change any of the 30 years. The dark times have brought me to the place where I am now, experiencing more peace and joy than I thought possible.’
