An author has accused her husband of writing scathing reviews of her new novel online.
The advice seeker, identified by the pseudonym “Sleeping with the Enemy,” wrote in Emily Gould from The Cut seeking advice after noticing an avalanche of deeply negative comments that brought down online ratings for her newly published book.
‘After many years of struggle, I recently published my latest novel. Good news: it’s a success! “Well, it’s not a huge success, but it has received very good reviews, won some awards, and has sold more copies than my other two books combined,” the letter began.
She went on to say that while she knows she “shouldn’t dwell on the negativity I’ve received online,” she can’t help but be bothered by some of the particular “badness” directed toward the book, “some of it quite personal” on Twitter, Goodreads, Amazon and ‘other corners of the Internet’.
A woman wrote to The Cut advice columnist Emily Gould after suspecting her own husband was the driving force behind the online hate her book was generating.
She described how her husband, also a writer, has been incredibly supportive of her efforts to write and publicize the book. At least on the surface.
“He was by my side throughout the long, arduous writing process, happily toasting glasses of champagne with me as the book began to attract attention and praise I could never have dreamed of for it, and patiently holding the camera while I recorded my promotional TikToks.” she wrote.
‘The most important thing is that he held my hand and comforted me through all the online harassment. I couldn’t have done it without him.
‘Or so I thought. For reasons too complicated to explain, I’m beginning to strongly suspect that my beloved has been using a series of anonymous accounts to post some of the most negative and cruel comments about the book.
“In fact, I think he may be the main source of the hatred that has been directed towards me, probably driven by jealousy that I have achieved something he never could.”
Even so, the woman was only ’85 percent’ sure of her hypothesis that her husband was behind the ‘hatred’ towards her that appeared on the Internet.
She has been considering ‘snooping on his computer’, but she had been caught doing that before, and her ‘marriage suffered’ when the husband discovered this.
“I know that if I were to confront him about my suspicions, he would accuse me of invading his privacy once again,” she admitted.
At first glance, the husband, also a writer, had supported his wife while writing her book and with her in celebrating its success after its publication.
‘Although it is not like that, it would be very difficult for me to explain myself. But lately I can’t even look at it without feeling sick to my stomach thinking about what it might be writing about me and my book.
‘I’ve even fantasized about hiring a private investigator to uncover the truth. I can not continue like this. That I have to do?’ she concluded.
Emily couldn’t give a very definitive answer without more details about what the basis of the wife’s suspicions was.
However, he encouraged the advice seeker to “snoop around.”
‘Invade your privacy! Invade it until you find out if your 85 percent certainty is 100 percent or 0 percent well-founded,’ she advised.
“Normally I would never suggest doing this, but in this case, you really need to know if your husband is stalking you online, and snooping on his laptop makes a lot more sense than hiring a private investigator.”
If the woman was right about her husband, Emily said she had to “confront him.”
‘If he denies it and you have incontrovertible evidence, your marriage is, to put it bluntly, screwed. There is no turning back from doing something like what he has done if he has no remorse for doing it; “That’s sociopathic behavior,” he said.
But, he added, if he “admits his crimes and shows remorse, his path is more complicated.” Can you ever forgive him? … Only you know how much work you are willing to put into improving your relationship.’
That said, it’s entirely possible that your “fears are unfounded.”
“The real work could begin there,” Emily emphasized.
‘Beyond the reasons you say are too complicated to explain, have you thought deeply about why I would do this? If you even suspect that your husband is capable of committing this level of betrayal, something is wrong between the two of you and needs to be addressed, ideally through therapy.
Lastly, Emily noted, the woman needed to work to “prevent online hate.” I know the appeal of searching your own name on Twitter and reading zero-star Goodreads reviews and stuff like that.’
“I’ve done it all,” Emily, also the author of several books, further admitted.
‘It’s normal to be curious about how readers and critics perceive your book, but at a certain point, it makes the most sense to step away from the screen for reasons of self-preservation. Haters, as they say, are going to hate.
