A plane passenger sparked a fierce debate after revealing she left her 6ft 6in brother sitting in economy class while she accepted a first class upgrade during a 12-hour flight.
The woman, known only as Abby, took to the popular Reddit thread Am I The A**hole to ask if she was wrong to accept the upgrade during the 12-hour flight.
Abby, who is just 5-foot-1, explained that she had been offered the chance to sit in first class while en route to Hawaii. to celebrate his father’s retirement.
He jumped at the opportunity “in the blink of an eye,” but then his family turned their backs on him, calling his actions “horrible.”
The keen traveler, known only as Abby, took to popular Reddit thread Am I The A**hole to ask if she was wrong to accept the upgrade during the 12-hour flight.
In the post, which was shared last week, Abby began: ‘We are at the beginning of my dad’s retirement family journey. He is paying for us all to get together as a family in Hawaii for a week as he is retiring after working at the same company for 42 years.
‘There are six of us, but my brother and I live in the same part of the country.
‘I suppose it’s relevant to say that I’m 5ft 1in and my brother is 6ft 6in. I travel all the time for work and I have quite a bit of status with the airline my dad bought our tickets for.’
She continued: ‘We were all boarded and ready to go when a flight attendant approached me and whispered that they had a first class passenger who didn’t show up and they needed the economy seat to accommodate a reserve passenger.
‘He said I had by far the highest status of everyone else on the plane, so they were willing to move me to first class for free. I thought, oh yeah, and took it in the blink of an eye.
‘I told my brother I would see him in 12 hours and let me know if he wanted any food or drinks, I grabbed my things and moved in. Needless to say, I had a good flight.’
But relations began to cool after the flight reached its destination.
‘When we landed and were waiting for our ferry, my brother was very angry but he didn’t tell me what was happening. He didn’t speak to me the entire ferry ride.
Abby, who is just 5ft 1in, explained that she had been offered the chance to sit in first class as she headed to Hawaii to celebrate her father’s retirement (file image).
“We greeted each other pleasantly with the rest of the family, but after I got out of the shower, my mother took me aside and said that what I did ‘was horrible.’
“I asked him what he was talking about and he said I should have given the seat to my brother. I thought that would be the end of it, but my five siblings and my parents are upset with me and the holidays are off to a very rocky start.
“I was trying to play with my niece and nephew in the lobby waiting for lunch and my sister said, ‘No, they only like to play with people who don’t give a shit about their family.’ What were you thinking?”
‘I asked her if it was something first class and she said, “What do you think it is?” I told her he never asked me to switch with him, she said “a jerk makes people beg, family members don’t.”
“I’ve been alone since brunch and I haven’t had much fun.”
Her post was soon inundated with comments that left readers bitterly divided.
On the one hand, many people insisted that she was not wrong as such. person wrote: ‘ANT, but I’m sure you have a family of them. Your state got you the offer. If you had rejected it, it wouldn’t have gone to your brother anyway.
There’s no reason you should have turned him down just to stay in coach with your brother. Try explaining it to your family, but none of this makes you a jerk.
A second person commented: ‘Your brother is a passive-aggressive crybaby, who apparently can’t even USE HIS WORDS, and runs to his mom to fight her disputes for him.
‘You totally deserved that upgrade, and even more so in retrospect, because of how your brother acted like a little boy who missed his nap. You (and your niece and nephew) are the only non-As in this story.
On the one hand, many people insisted that she was not wrong as one person wrote: ‘NTA but you sure have a family of them’
Another added: ‘NTA. You earned your status by flying so frequently for work. Your brother didn’t do it; he has no right to YOUR improvement [that] You won.
“I would also say that if you fly that often, you deserve first class every time.” [in a] while. I honestly think it sucks that your entire family took your brother’s side.
“If they were THAT concerned about his comfort, everyone could have chipped in to ensure he had a seat with more legroom in first class.”
Someone else commented: ‘NTA…really? Why does your brother magically have the right to use your points/status? No. Your family sounds horrible. Don’t tolerate this even for a moment.
A fifth person wrote: ‘The seat would NOT have gone to your brother. If you declined, the seat would have gone to the person with the next highest points.
‘Your family SERIOUSLY needs to improve itself. ANT.’
One person added: ‘I hate it when people spend other people’s money. You got those points flying. Giving your brother the upgrade was equivalent to giving him A LOT of money. ANT.’
But on the other hand, there were those who thought she was wrong.
One person wrote: ‘Finally, a voice of reason! I’m five foot six [and] My brother is six foot three. If he was in the same situation, he would have offered to change part of the flight.
—A twelve-hour flight, too. Technically, she didn’t have to, but it would have been the kindest thing to do. YTA.’
A second person added: ‘According to the letter of the law, you are not nta. But in my opinion, you are 100,000 percent YTA.
But on the other hand, there were those who thought she was wrong. One person wrote: ‘Finally, the voice of reason!’
‘I’m five feet tall. My father is six foot three and big boned. If this were our situation, it wouldn’t even have been an offer; she would have insisted that he sit in the seat.
‘Traveling is uncomfortable for everyone, but at least it is the least uncomfortable for us, short people. Six foot six? It would not have been a question of giving the seat to a brother.
A third person wrote: ‘She 100 per cent could have given the seat to her brother. You can voluntarily give up your upgraded seat to anyone you want.
‘It’s just a change of seat. I have done it with my wife, my mother. [and] a complete stranger.
‘The airline doesn’t care. He had no right to it, but that’s a different topic. Side point.
‘Does anyone else think it’s moderately [an] Imbecilicly moving to rest with your travel companion for 12 hours? People reject updates all the time for exactly this reason.
Abby returned to her post to add an edit to provide more context on the situation after receiving many comments.
She added: ‘Wow this totally blew up, thanks everyone for commenting.’
“I only saw my family a little yesterday and they were still criticizing me to varying degrees.
“I have a very good friend who lives here in the military, so I went out with [me]and we met some really fun and cute guys at a dive bar.
He took the opportunity “in the blink of an eye”, but then his family turned their back on him and called his actions “horrible” (file image)
‘So my vacation will be great, no matter what. But reading your comments really gave me the confidence to shrug it off (or at least try!), thank you.’
Dr. Kathy Nickerson, PhD, a California-based clinical psychologist, has since shared with Fox News Digital: ‘It would have been good for him [Reddit writer] give his brother the upgrade because the trainer is much less comfortable for someone who is six foot six than one who is five foot one.
‘However, I can understand that, since the stewardess whispered in his ear, [the woman] She might have thought she needed to be discreet and not offer it to her brother.
Dr. Kathy Nickerson, PhD, a California-based clinical psychologist, has shared her opinion on the heated Reddit debate.
‘If we could go back in time, I would have whispered in [the woman’s] heard: ‘Are you okay here? I know it’s not first class, but can you deal with this and let your brother go? It seems that he is quite uncomfortable.
Kathy added that it would have been “a thoughtful, loving, kind gesture” for the women to offer her brother the first-class seat.
He added: “Now that it’s done, the best thing we can do is apologize to his brother and express understanding to his family.”
‘It’s reasonable for everyone to feel the way they feel. It’s not so reasonable to ruin family vacations because of that.
‘People make bad decisions all the time. Sometimes people can be selfish and inconsiderate. Everyone deserves compassion and a chance to make things right.
‘Let everyone in the family rebuke and criticize the [woman] It is not useful. It creates an emotionally unsafe environment, which only encourages more harmful behavior.’
Kathy recommended that all family members have “a family meeting, where you can apologize for the hurtful decisions of everyone present, express some understanding for each other’s feelings, and agree to do better next time and then move on.”
He added that the focus going forward should be: “Let’s forgive each other, learn from this and enjoy our journey.”
