It can be difficult to tell a friend that they can’t stay at your house, but is there a way to politely refuse to host someone without burning bridges?
Content creator Navera shared a TikTok where he addressed an interesting etiquette question that was posed in a newsletter about hosting tourists in a small apartment.
Someone asked, “I live in New York and my friends and family always ask me to stay with me.” What’s a polite way to convey the message that my apartment is not a free hotel?
In the video, Navera explained that when she first moved to New York, she had friends who wanted to stay with her and then she would never hear from them again.
‘This is what I wish I had known how to articulate in the past, which would have saved me a lot of trouble.
‘I can’t see anyone right now, but I’m really excited for you to visit New York. While you’re here, let me know when would be a good time to go to dinner, have coffee, have a drink, take a walk, whatever you prefer.
Navera explained that many of those people probably wouldn’t even be interested in spending time together if they didn’t get free housing.
To find out whether it’s appropriate to simply say no to potential visitors, FEMAIL contacted an etiquette expert.
Content creator Navera shared a TikTok where she talked about an interesting etiquette question that was posed in a newsletter about hosting tourists in a small apartment.
People quickly took to the comments to share their own frustrations with uninvited house guests.
“I used to be really afraid of upsetting people by not letting them stay with me, telling them no,” Navera said.
The New Yorker explained that she would make up excuses such as being busy at work or health problems.
People quickly took to the comments to share their own frustrations with uninvited house guests.
“This happened to me once and I said, ‘I won’t be able to do that, but if you get an Airbnb I can tell you if it’s in a good area or not.’ It’s radio silence,” one person complained.
Others shared stories about guests who stayed with them but then didn’t spend any time together.
“I had someone over once and they planned their entire trip around their plans and not a single invitation to hang out with me,” one commenter shared.
Others explained that many times, people in big cities known for their small apartments simply don’t have room to stay, especially if they live in a studio.
“I think people also don’t understand that staying in someone’s apartment in New York is being too close. It’s an air mattress in the living room and a shared bathroom, not a guest room situation,” one wrote.
Commenters explained that many times, people in major cities known for their small apartments simply do not have room to stay, especially if they live in a studio (stock image).
Etiquette expert Nick Leighton, who hosts the show Were You Raised by Wolves? podcast, told FEMAIL: ‘My favorite phrase is: “Unfortunately, it’s not possible.”‘
People shared their own tips, including what they tell potential guests, like: “I live in a studio and it’s not designed for more than one person.” You won’t feel comfortable here,” or simply suggesting specific hotels.
Etiquette expert Nick Leighton, who presents the Were you raised by wolves? podcast, told FEMAIL that when it comes to turning away potential house guests, “My favorite phrase is, ‘Unfortunately, it’s not possible.’
“No explanations or excuses are required or encouraged,” Nick, who lives in New York, told DailyMail.com. ‘Repeat this phrase as many times as necessary until you run out.’
“Once you start offering excuses, it can easily turn into a negotiation, which is something we want to avoid,” Nick said.
“If you really don’t want to host, just set that boundary and stick to it.”