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ALISON BOCHOVE: Is J-Lo’s obsession with clean living making Ben Affleck look more bleak?

In preparation for Sunday’s Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez sure hopes people find her presence captivating for all the right reasons.

The actress, singer, and businesswoman wore a navy blue Gucci thigh-high slit dress with a diamond cape and cascades, as well as £1.5 million Bulgari diamond necklaces.

Her glamorous team—two stylists, hairstylist, manicurist, and makeup artist—were thanked on Instagram.

How annoying, then, that all anyone wanted to talk about wasn’t the $400 million woman at her finest, but the frowning husband left in her wake, Ben Affleck.

In the most amusing pantomime, J-Lo seemed to notice her new husband was trending on social media for his facial expressions — which ran the gamut from boredom to disgust — as he sat through the ceremony.

How disturbing, then, that all anyone wanted to talk about wasn’t the $400 million woman at her finest, but the grouchy husband left on her heels, Ben Affleck.

She pointed out to Affleck, 50, that his behavior was lighting up the internet, and according to a lip-reader, she suggested, “Whoa. Looks more friendly. You look motivated. Affleck appears, somewhat defiantly, by replying: “I might.”

Yet his doting wife, 53, kept holding the Oscar-winning actor’s hand and piling on public displays of affection. Despite his exposure, she later penned an Instagram post that read, “Always the best time with my love, my husband.”

The official line — that Affleck is a “dreamer” and a “sweetheart” — is adhered to as if her life depended on it, though you’d think his reckless behavior would make her itch to kick his ass.

Certainly, when it comes to Affleck, a recovering alcoholic, adoration comes with a certain amount of responsibility.

Just last week, footage emerged showing Lopez — who avoids alcohol — checking that he wasn’t drinking after the premiere of her movie Shotgun Wedding. He can be heard saying, “I didn’t drink anything, okay?” She sips from his wine glass, presumably to verify that he is telling the truth.

J-Lo’s friend of more than two decades agrees that all is not entirely sunny in the “Bennifer” world.

“You might imagine that marrying J-Lo would mean you hopping in the street — but that’s not Ben Affleck,” he notes. He is what you would call a complex person. He is always, and I mean always, miserable. However, she adores him.

Sure, Affleck has managed to look bored or angry almost every time they’ve stepped foot together in public since their wedding last summer.

The actress, singer, and businesswoman wore a navy thigh-high Gucci dress complete with a cape and diamond cascades, as well as £1.5 million Bulgari diamond necklaces.

He stared at paparazzi who sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to his wife outside their hotel last July and looked killer when they snapped pictures as he left Craig’s (a restaurant) in West Hollywood after dinner in August – somewhat bewildered, since it’s a place where you can guarantee the paparazzi’s attention. .

Even in some of the official photos of their wedding, while his bride-to-be looks so beaming, he barely cracks a smile.

Some say he looks so bleak because his life is governed by “Jane’s Commandments” which form the framework for her healthy yet stressful lifestyle.

It is said that he should exercise, as you do, for an hour a day, five days a week. In the early days of their romance, they were seen going to the gym together every day.

Affleck stared at the paparazzi who sang

Affleck stared at paparazzi who sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to his wife outside their hotel last July and looked killer as he snapped leaving Craig’s (restaurant) in West Hollywood

A fast food fan, who just closed a seven-figure deal to deliver Dunkin’ Donuts, it looks like Affleck has to eat clean, too.

His disciplined wife sticks to protein and leafy greens. According to her former personal trainer, sweet corn and carrots were banned for being too “sugary.” “Once in a while,” she’ll eat a piece of fried chicken, a single potato chip, or a cookie.

By contrast, Affleck was memorably photographed eating a takeaway burger in a brown paper bag while he was in rehab in 2018.

Some of Jane’s “commandments” were broken. It is said that she hates smoking, but he has not been able to quit.

Lopez also apparently hates tattoos, wanting him to remove a giant phoenix from his back, but that hasn’t happened yet.

There were some greater sacrifices, too, for both of them. They engaged in a year-long search for a family home and Affleck put two of his homes on the market, while Lopez also put her place for sale in Bel Air.

It must be large to accommodate their blended family. He has three children from his marriage to actress Jennifer Garner: Violet, 17, Serafina, 14, and Samuel, ten. She has twins Max and Emme, 14, with singer Marc Anthony. As US Radar suggested last year: “Making everyone happy was nearly impossible. They’re back at work and parenting. Reality has set in.”

Lopez also apparently hates Affleck's tattoo, wanting him to remove a giant phoenix from his back, but that hasn't happened yet.

Lopez also apparently hates Affleck’s tattoo, wanting him to remove a giant phoenix from his back, but that hasn’t happened yet.

Another source suggested to the post: “Marital bliss? More like marital mayhem.” Before the wedding, Jennifer gave an Oscar-worthy performance of Ben, pretending to be the perfect perfect wife.

The source added: ‘She has been known to yell at him and point her finger. It makes people wonder if she’s mistaking him for a dog!

When Lopez and Affleck married in Vegas in July of last year (a second wedding followed at his Georgia home the following month), it put a stamp on one of Hollywood’s most bizarre love stories.

Their first romance began after they met on the set of the failed movie Gigli in early 2002, with Affleck saying, “She’s the funniest, classiest, most intoxicating woman I’ve ever known.”

Later that same year, Lopez enlisted Affleck to star in the video for her hit song Jenny from the Block in which he famously kissed her butt.

They got engaged in November, and postponed their September 2003 wedding by just four days to blame the media attention. After a few months, they split.

Affleck said, “For a while, we were flying and everything was beautiful between Jen and me. Then everything collapsed very quickly.

They had trouble figuring out where to live and she was said to be furious after he bet £450,000 out of him in one night. It appears that the final straw was Affleck and Matt Damon’s pal partying at a Berlin nightclub while Damon was filming The Bourne Supremacy.

Those with insight into the couple's lives say the dynamic is that they throw all their resources into trying to make Affleck happy

Those with insight into the couple’s lives say the dynamic is that they throw all their resources into trying to make Affleck happy

Affleck went on to marry Jennifer Garner and, after the end of a ten-year marriage, dated several women, including the children’s nanny. He also went to rehab several times for his alcoholism.

Meanwhile, Lopez married dancer Chris Judd in 2001, and after that marriage ended, she married singer Marc Anthony in 2004, but they also divorced in 2011.

She was also engaged to baseball player Alex Rodriguez. After reports that he was cheating on her in 2021, which he denied, Lopez rekindled her love with Affleck.

For their big day in August last year, her fourth marriage, she wore three couture dresses.

I feel lucky, happy and proud to be with him. She said: It’s a beautiful love story that we got from a second chance.

Those with insight into the couple’s lives say the dynamic is that they throw all their resources into trying to make Affleck happy. It’s not easy as he struggles to keep his balance.

In an interview, Affleck said: There is a lot of alcoholism and mental illness in my family. The legacy of that is very powerful and sometimes hard to shake.

In this context, her attempts to coach him through the Grammys seem more supportive than shrewd. As strong as she is in her career, she melts when it comes to matters of the heart, an old friend tells me.

Of course, there will be rumors of marriage after the Grammys, but I don’t think they’re true — hand in hand.

I dragged him there, he didn’t want to go and smiled. You could see she was trying to help him out. I think what people fail to appreciate is that it is not easy to keep marriage up in the air.

What’s become clear is that no one is more determined to make it work than J-Lo.