With its endless ovations and increasingly unwatchable films, Cannes may be in the can, but one woman has really opened a can of worms with her brutal treatment of complaining celebrities.
Footage of a thuggish security guard manhandling famous women at the French Riviera film festival has gone more viral than rotten snails.
It all started when the evil tomboy tried to rush former famous singer Kelly Rowland, who was soaking up the glow of her beauty on the iconic red stairs for too long.
Rowdy Rowland stuck his vicious finger in the goalie’s grill and even later suggested the incident was… racist! (What does yawn mean in French?)
But it seems that this IDGAF usher did not discriminate.
It all started when the evil tomboy tried to rush former famous singer Kelly Rowland, who was soaking up the glow of her beauty on the iconic red stairs for too long.
There’s also video of her moving alongside K-pop star Yoona, hugging a giraffe-legged Ukrainian model to the ground, and nearly throwing punches at Dominican actress Massiel Taveres, who repeatedly attempted to unfurl her ridiculously embellished 20-foot tail. with the face of Our Lord and Savior.
No, not Hayek’s Saint Salma.
Unsurprisingly, social media is ablaze with horrified snowflakes demanding that this French wrestler be banned from future festivals.
To which I say: Don’t get your La Perla panties in a bunch.
First: It’s pretty clear to me that this woman was simply doing her job. Wouldn’t she have been fired otherwise after the first fight with Rowland?
Second: Who am I to tell a Frenchman to stop when he is actually awake and working?
The truth is that Cannes director Thierry Fremaux is tired of camera-hungry flirts.
In 2018, he banned stars from taking “grotesque” selfies. Earlier this year she denounced how hyperpolitical posturing on the red carpet was detracting from the cinematic art on display.
(Looking at Cate Blanchett, who rocked a pro-Gaza dress with a Palestinian flag, and Bella Hadid, who rocked Hamas chic in a dress made from keffiyehs.)
This is not the Moulin Rouge at happy hour. This is cinemaDear!
Fremaux will no doubt have watched in horror as once-elegant events like the Met Gala became preening posing fests, attracting only the most desperate D-listers.
So what else is a tired frog to do?
My guess is that Fremaux ordered his beauty thugs to act defensively against the legion of selfish foreigners descending on his beautiful city, and that was good for him.
And as for the enthusiastic lover of the Cannes red carpet, she earns a standing ovation from me. Next year, I should suplex these horrible girls in Riviera Bay!
The truth is that Cannes director Thierry Fremaux is tired of camera-hungry flirts. Earlier this year he denounced how hyperpolitical posturing on the red carpet was detracting from the cinematic art on display. (Pictured: Cate Blanchett last week).
The shame of Biden’s ‘shower’
If you haven’t already, you should immediately read my esteemed colleague Maureen Callahan’s recent column on Ashley Biden’s diary.
Because although our First Daughter admitted in a court filing that the letter (stolen and leaked online) is real, so is the media blackout on this story.
Ashley heartbreakingly details fears of having been “sexually abused,” as well as the “traumas” she remembers from her childhood, including, explosively, “showers with (her) father” that “probably weren’t appropriate.”
If this private diary belonged to Ivanka Trump and described a joint shower with dad Donald, the outcry would have been deafening and deserved.
What a shame for the silent White House and Sniffy Joe’s emasculated media lackeys.
…but Hunter is still shameless
If the Biden camp wasn’t already slimy enough, we now learn how Hunter arranged a meeting between his father, his uncle, and his dubious Chinese business partners to coincide with a 2017 visit to New York City for a monument commemorating the horrible Sandy Hook massacre. .
Never let a tragedy go to waste, eh, Cracky?
These bribe-happy communists are the same oil bosses with whom Hunter cobbled together a $10 million-a-year deal just months earlier. Nice to see Bidenomics benefiting someone I guess!
Blame Kim K.
North West’s nepo-baby role as young Simba at The Lion King’s 30th anniversary concert, at a little-known venue called the Hollywood freakin’ Bowl, has sent fans into a feline frenzy.
Kimye’s spawn is not the next Nancy Sinatra. But it’s not as if the tone-challenged 10-year-old snatched the job from a more talented, less fortunate boy with her bare paws.
Blame their mercenary, overexposed parents who won’t stop using their children as extensions of their grotesque self.
Quick cash capture
The bad girl with the crimson mouth No be silenced.
Last week, Taylor Swift released not one but three new ‘limited editions’ of their latest album ‘The Tortured Poets Department’.
The blatant cash grab took Swift to a total of more than 20 iterations of this average record.
Why are you so greedy, Goldilocks?
Fans say there’s bad blood between Swift and Billie Eilish, whose brilliant new album ‘Hit Me Hard And Soft’ threatens to leave ‘TTPD’ in the dust of Kansas City.
Billie recently criticized artists who perform three-hour shows as “literally psychotic.” Ahem – and criticized the endless reissues of physical albums as “a waste” – ahem, ahem.
Crown jewels
Crown actor Charles Dance, 77, was pictured sunbathing in his jewelery at the Spanish nudist hotspot of Formentera.
I hope the doughy old man applied sunscreen to all his stained parts; A gentleman would hate to have blisters on the most precious parts of him!
Perhaps Dance, who was joined by his much younger girlfriend, Alessandra Masi, delights in leaving very little to the imagination.
In its defense, Spanish water can be extremely cold at this time of year.
Crown actor Charles Dance, 77, was pictured sunbathing in his jewelery at the Spanish nudist hotspot of Formentera.
wild father
Is there anything more annoying than an influencer?
Yes, a ‘dadfluencer’ fan of Elon Musk who hits his babies for likes.
Malcolm Collins and his plump wife Simone are pregnant with their fourth child, but hope to have seven children in their pursuit of “pronatalism” (the belief that more and more children are the solution to our earthly problems).
Malcolm slapped his 2-year-old son in front of a reporter last week before attempting to explain away his abuse by saying he and his equally happy wife learned the behavior by watching how tigers treat their cubs in the wild.
Does this couple also urinate in public and sink their teeth into live mammals?
There has been a push to take Malcolm and Simone’s offspring away from them, and I can understand why.
