A woman has revealed that she is searching for answers after her sister-in-law, who she used to be close with, one day started “ignoring” her and even blocked her messages without explanation.
On the parenting platform Mumsnet, the English mother of two was left baffled to say that her husband’s brother had even started telling people that he was “draining” her husband financially, even though they both worked as teachers and All bills were divided equally.
When his partner messaged his sister for answers, she denied saying that and claimed his wife couldn’t be “trusted.”
Now the woman is bewildered because she still does not understand what she has done and is worried about the family reunion at Christmas.
Many took to the comments to give her some advice, with some suggesting that her sister-in-law might be freezing her inheritance.
He read post: ‘My SIL (sister-in-law) has made it clear that she doesn’t like me. We used to be great friends and the same friends in common.
‘One day I called MIL’s (mother-in-law’s) house and my SIL completely ignored me. I asked her if she had done something, but she just ignored me. I texted her and she blocked me.
‘This went on for months. I found this extremely uncomfortable, so I decided not to bother with her as well. My MIL took me aside to tell me I was being extremely rude, I explained that SIL hadn’t spoken to me in a while and asked her what was wrong.
A woman revealed on Mumsnet that her sister-in-law is trying to kick her out of the family, but she doesn’t know why (file image)
‘MIL said maybe I should call the DDs (dear daughter) less often, especially when SIL is there. I asked her if she knew something I didn’t know. She said she didn’t want to get involved.
The woman went on to claim that her partner spoke to her sister on the phone, only to tell her that his wife “couldn’t be trusted” and that he “could do better” before angrily hanging up on her.
She continued: ‘Mutual friends told me recently that she said I’m draining my designated hitter financially (we’re both teachers and split all the bills), he used to be fun until he married me.
‘Because she blocked me, my DH messaged to see what was going on. Apparently I made it all up. I approached mutual friends to ask them if what they said was true. They ignored me.
‘Family gatherings will be held in the run-up to Christmas and I don’t want my SIL to affect me. I just wish I knew what I did or what I was supposed to have done. Any suggestions?
Many people offered advice, with some telling her she should distance herself because they sound “toxic,” while others encouraged her to stand up for herself.
On the parenting platform, the English mother of two revealed that she used to be good friends with her husband’s sister, but one day her mother-in-law started ignoring her and even stopped her from sending messages without explanation.
One of them wrote: “I would distance myself.” They sound toxic. The SIL is already deceiving you. MIL asked him to reduce visits.
‘Why would you run after these people? Let go and focus on your own little family and friends. I would also skip the Christmas staff with them. I have been in this situation. The sooner you realize that you are better off without them, the better.
Another said: “I think Christmas might be your chance to get things out in the open, responding to any invitation to spend time with them with a polite “No thanks, it’s clear that SIL has a problem with me that you all They are aware. “But you won’t discuss it with me and I don’t feel comfortable in your company until it’s resolved.”
‘That way they won’t be able to accuse you of anything underhanded, as you will have told them clearly what the problem is and why they won’t see you.
‘If you’re worried about DH’s relationship with his family, maybe give him the opportunity to go to family gatherings alone or with the kids. It sends the message loud and clear that you are not prepared to engage with their shit.”
Someone else said: ‘I agree with the others. Learn some assertive phrases and behaviors and don’t be so pushy. Take MIL’s word and visit less. He will soon regret his choice if it means he won’t be able to see his general.
Meanwhile, a fourth said: “OP, she’s actively looking for a confrontation with you, so at some point you have to stop yourself from cringing when she does it, because that’s the reaction she’s looking for: you’re her victim and you have to pretend.” “Your eldest girl gasps and challenges her, otherwise the situation will escalate until it becomes intolerable.”
However, some people suggested that perhaps the sister-in-law is trying to isolate the woman because of an “inheritance.”
Many took to the comments to give her some advice, with some suggesting that maybe her sister-in-law is freezing her out of the inheritance.
One person said: ‘You haven’t done anything wrong, but excluding you now means dh will be excluded from any inheritance in the future.
“I think he’s thinking long term and the fact that you’ve heard different reasons as to why you’ve been excluded means that none of them apply and the reason is completely different.
“A reason you can’t say because it’s so patently false or just so ridiculous or horrible that you’d seem unhinged.”
Others suggested that perhaps the sister-in-law became jealous because of how much the woman called her mother-in-law’s house.
One person said: ‘From your first post, it seems like SIL feels like you visit MIL too often, or that you are there too much when SHE is there. It seems like she wants MIL all to herself.
‘I think you work at FT so your visiting slots will be much more limited than hers, but can you try calling when she’s NOT there?’
‘I would suggest just being polite, doing your best to avoid any passive-aggressive response (basically turning the other cheek) and not reacting to it with anything more than a neutral response. This will drive her crazy and she will show herself sooner or later.
“It’s not a great situation for you, I hope it gets resolved or at least you can see less of SIL.”
Another agreed: ‘Does it have something to do with children? Are yours faster at reaching milestones? Did he behave better? Whatever it is, he doesn’t want to say it because it’s ridiculous, probably because of jealousy at the root.