You CAN meet your money goals, says our money psychotherapist

Every year I see clients who have made New Year’s resolutions to, in their words, “be better” with money. And every year they find themselves failing in February, after putting off key financial decisions related to their pensions, savings and budget.

Their main concern is spending more than they should, a worry that weighs heavily on them, especially after a lavish Christmas.

The result is that they end up feeling stuck, afraid to move forward and worried about examining what is holding them back. This in turn makes them feel shame and embarrassment; In other words, this paralysis is proof that they are “bad with money.”

The good news is that you can manage your finances better and you should never stop trying. And if you have failed in the past, then I invite you to try something different this year.

Here are the four reasons why, in my experience, your New Year’s financial resolutions fail and how you can stick to them this time.

THE RESOLUTION IS… TOO VEGA

What does “be better with money” really mean to you? Start by breaking down what you want to do into concrete, actionable steps. For example, if being “better” means improving savings, set specific goals.

Download a savings app, investigate high-interest accounts, or automate transfers of a certain amount per month. These are solid goals that can make your goal feel less overwhelming and more manageable.

Sometimes we keep monetary goals vague because we are afraid of the unknown. These concerns may be due to gaps in our knowledge or technical terms that we do not fully understand.

However, breaking down goals into small steps will decrease your anxiety and increase your feeling of being able to achieve them.

…TOO COMPLICATED TO FOLLOW

If your resolution is too complicated, it makes it unsustainable in the long run.

It is possible to quickly abandon registration in complex tools or plans. I’ve had clients use budgeting tools that are too complicated or require too much information and abandon them after a few weeks.

How can you avoid this? Ask yourself how will I use the information? If tracking every expense across 30 categories is just “nice to know,” it’s probably not worth the effort. Instead, focus on broad categories, like groceries or subscriptions, and use the tools to identify trends like spending too much on eating out.

If you need to investigate the reason for the overspending, you can check your accounts directly for more details.

Then find the right tools for what you need. Use apps that automatically categorize expenses instead of relying on manual spreadsheets.

Simpler systems are easier to maintain in the long term. Remember, the more power the new system requires to keep up, the less likely you are to sustain it.

…UNREALISTIC SAVINGS GOALS

If you try to change too much, too soon, this could lead you to give up on your resolution because it seems too difficult, whether you are trying to cut back on an expensive lifestyle or trying to organize your future by addressing your pension and other issues. investments. Set incremental goals that seem manageable rather than rushing into drastic solutions, such as cutting all non-essential expenses from day one, or overly ambitious goals, such as wanting to get your Isa, pension and investments in order in the first few weeks.

Failure fuels shame, which in turn fuels inaction or the desire to give up, so setting realistic goals is essential.

…DOES NOT TREAT THE UNDERLYING PROBLEM

Even the best budgeting app won’t stop you from overspending if you tend to use “retail therapy” to deal with anxiety or boredom, loneliness or sadness.

And even the fanciest savings platform can’t do the job for you if you don’t overcome the fears associated with, say, seeing your parents lose all their savings on a bad investment.

What I mean is that sometimes it’s not a lack of will or tools that causes resolutions to fail, but the fact that we still have to deal with the underlying feelings that drove our financial decisions or inaction in the first place.