Yes, older women dating younger men is all the rage. But what my friend did to a man 15 years her junior was so shocking I’ll never speak to her again: JANA HOCKING

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, I think we can all agree that MILFs are having a moment right now.

Ever since Stifler’s mom made us realize that she “had it going,” the idea of ​​older women kissing younger men hasn’t been as trendy.

From Nicole Kidman dry humping Zac Efron in A Family Affair and asking her younger intern to be her ‘dom’ in Babygirl, to Anne Hathaway going cougar in The Idea of ​​You, the older women trope that falling in love with younger men is undeniably fashionable. .

Women around the world are lowering the age filters on their dating apps and diving headfirst into shenanigans with baby-faced studs.

But let’s be real for a moment: this phase? Not for me. No never.

If I’m completely honest, it’s always disgusted me.

Dating twenty-something men when I was in my twenties was lesson enough. Spoiler alert: they have no idea. No offense, but they’re fumbling through life, still figuring out how to do laundry, surviving on Lynx Africa, and saving pennies for ‘boys’ trips’ to Bali. As they should be.

If he can’t grow a beard, he’s too young for you, Mom.

I get it though, this trend seems glamorous, particularly for women reclaiming their youth (usually after divorce). But is it worth it?

I’ve seen the other side of these issues: the young men who give up their wild “boys, boys, boys” years, shackled by commitments they weren’t ready for, and the older women who hope these boys can play the part. of adults. partners. It seems disturbingly unfair.

Controversial opinion, but do these women ever stop to think that they could be taking away some of the best years of these men’s lives?

This caught my attention a few months ago when a new friend told me about an ex-boyfriend who was 15 years younger than her. At first everything was exciting. He loved the thrill of dating someone older and she enjoyed the attention of a younger, more attractive man.

But as time went by, things got complicated. She started skipping the boys’ trips because “she wouldn’t like it.” She wanted a commitment while he was still figuring out what he wanted out of life, and then she got pregnant. Sigh.

He freaked out because he wasn’t prepared for that kind of responsibility and she panicked because she thought it might be her last chance to have a child.

She decided to have it. They separated. And he spent most of his 20s paying child support because the fool forgot to use a condom.

Instead of saving for a house, I was paying for a daisy. And before you come for me, yes, children are a blessing, but this seemed like a scam to me.

In the end our friendship ended. Maybe it’s because I have siblings and I couldn’t bear the thought of this happening to them, or maybe it was the overwhelming sadness I felt for this boy, whose life was turned upside down by a careless mistake. I realized I couldn’t see her in the same light anymore. He wanted a baby, found a questionable way to get it, and didn’t care about the consequences. He’s not someone I can stay friends with.

Now, listen, I’m not immune to this kind of thing. When I was 25, I dated a 45-year-old man. Looking back, it was a brief respite from the nonsense that comes with dating at 20. He was respectful, kind, and, let’s be honest, I was thrilled to be dating a young blonde.

But that was all: a respite. I quickly realized that the age difference was simply too, well, huge. Before long, he took on a father and mentor role that created an imbalance. I remember yelling, ‘Stop giving me orders! You’re not my dad!’ Well, that was the end of that.

Your 20s are for growing, learning and making mistakes with people your age. Not leaving parties at 11 pm to go to bed early (which, yes, happened more than once).

And don’t even get me started on Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Sam Taylor-Johnson. When they met, he was a fresh-faced 18-year-old starring in Nowhere Boy, and she was the 42-year-old director calling the shots.

Yes, you read that right, an age difference of 23 years. Naturally, the tabloids had their fun, and who could blame them?

Now, credit where it’s due: They’ve been married for over a decade, have two kids, and seem genuinely happy. Love is love and all that jazz. But let’s not ignore the elephant in the room: I was barely old enough to vote when they started dating!

Meanwhile, she had already done the whole “mortgage, career and kids” thing. What the hell did he know about that? And at 18, why should I?

As a sister of two brothers, if it had been one of my brothers, I would have been horrified. While we were trying our first Midori lemonades and hanging out with strangers in dodgy nightclubs, he was changing diapers and dealing with toddler tantrums. No. Too young.

Aaron admitted that he had to grow up quickly. While his classmates were drinking beers and planning trips to Ibiza, he was at home learning how to prepare school lunch. Romantic? Sure. Relatable? Not so much.

And Sam? Well, when you date someone young enough to figure out how to separate white clothes from dark clothes in the washing machine, you have to ask yourself: do you ever start to feel like you’re raising your partner? I just can’t imagine what an 18 year old would talk to a 42 year old about.

Their relationship is held up as the example of ‘age gap relationships that work’, but let’s be honest, it’s the exception, not the rule.

For every Aaron and Sam who make this work, there are a hundred younger men who one day wake up thinking, ‘Wait, when did I stop living my life and start playing house?’

And that’s the point. When a couple is in a completely different stage of life, someone always ends up compromising more. Maybe he’s the younger guy skipping his carefree 20s to settle down. Maybe she’s the older woman calling the shots and wondering when she signed up to be a girlfriend and life coach.

So before we idolize these relationships as aspirational, let’s take a step back and think hard, shall we?

Cross-age romances may seem glamorous in Hollywood with its fancy makeup artists, nannies, plastic surgeons and expensive personal trainers, but in real life, they often come with emotional costs and missed milestones.

Love may be love, but for most of us, love works best when we grow together, not in separate times.

Let’s leave the fantasy to the big screen and enjoy our own chapters as they should be experienced.