EXCLUSIVE
A 48-year-old Estonian lawyer is still fighting to remain in Australia based on his de facto relationship with a 104-year-old woman, weeks after she died in a nursing home.
Mart Soeson says he would still be with Elfriede Riit if she had not succumbed to a deadly infection last month and wants to continue living in Sydney so he can visit her grave.
Riit, who was also Estonian and fled Europe after World War II, had previously been married to Soeson’s grandfather.
Soeson was next to Riit on April 13 when she peacefully crossed her hands over her chest and said a final goodbye to her partner of more than a decade.
“We were together until the end,” Soeson told Daily Mail Australia on Friday.
Mr Soeson spoke before going on to explain why he should be granted a permanent residence visa at a hearing before the Administrative Appeals Tribunal.
A 48-year-old Estonian lawyer is still fighting to remain in Australia based on his de facto relationship with a 104-year-old woman, despite her recent death. Mart Soeson (right) and Elfriede Riit (left) lived together until she moved into a nursing home.
The Department of the Interior rejected Soeson’s visa application in December 2018 due to concerns that his romantic engagement with Riit was not genuine.
Riit’s death represents another obstacle in Soeson’s attempt not to return to his homeland.
Presiding member David Barker addressed Soeson’s recent personal loss in his opening remarks before hearing further evidence on Friday.
“I note the death of Ms Riit and express the court’s condolences in this regard,” Mr Barker told Mr Soeson.
Barker then explained that Soeson could still apply for a partner visa under provisions of the relevant legislation covering the death of an applicant’s “sponsor”.
For the visa refusal to be overturned, the court would have to be satisfied that Mr Soeson’s de facto relationship with Ms Riit would have continued if she were still alive.
Soeson would also have to prove he developed close business, cultural or personal ties while in Australia.
“If she didn’t die, our relationship would continue,” Mr. Soeson told Mr. Barker.
“And if she lived, I would be next to her too.”
Mart Soeson says he would still be with Elfriede Riit if she hadn’t succumbed to an infection last month and wants to continue living in Sydney so he can visit her grave.
Soeson, who works as a painter, said he had close ties to Sydney’s Estonian community and had adopted local customs such as celebrating Anzac Day.
‘I have a job here,’ he said. ‘My house is here. I left my meaningful life in Estonia, my career and my family ties to be with Elfriede in Australia.’
Soeson said there were many reasons why he should not be sent back to Estonia.
“I have friends here,” he said. ‘I have my partner. Elfriede is already dead and she is here. My grandfather is here too, buried here.
‘I have my reasons for being here. I also have my reasons to visit my loved ones in the cemetery.’
At a previous court hearing in February, Soeson was questioned for three hours about the nature of his union with Riit and what it meant to each.
He admitted the couple did not share a bedroom and had never had sex, but insisted their half-century age difference was irrelevant.
Mr Soeson met Ms Riit in early 1996 when he came to Australia to study advanced English and she invited him to stay at her home in Bankstown.
Riit, who like Soeson was born in Estonia, fled Europe after World War II and had previously been married to Soeson’s grandfather.
Mrs Riit knew Mr Soeson as the grandson of her late husband Alfred (she had been his second wife) who, like her, left Estonia when it was annexed by the USSR.
It wasn’t love at first sight and “nothing happened overnight,” according to Soeson,
He eventually returned to Estonia, but returned repeatedly to Australia in the following years to see Ms Riit and their bond gradually grew.
Soeson said that what would become an “exclusive and committed long-term” relationship with Riit first became romantic in January 2013, when she was 92 and he was 37.
“What started as a healthy bond I had with my late grandfather’s widow slowly but surely turned into a very meaningful and loving relationship,” he told Daily Mail Australia.
“Every impulse I tried to fight regarding our future meant nothing when I really thought about how happy she made me.”
Soeson said she entered into a de facto relationship with Riit in September 2018, when he was 43 and she was 98.
The couple lived together in Ms Riit’s home until she was forced to move into a nursing home by doctor’s order in September 2022.
Soeson said he and Riit had not shared a bedroom or had sex, but insisted their half-century age difference was irrelevant.
Mr. Soeson regularly visited the nursing home where he brought his lover her favorite foods, such as chocolate and berries.
They attended concerts and religious services, watched television together, and went out to drink coffee with friends and visit medical specialists.
In court, Barker said Home Affairs was not convinced Soeson and Riit had a legitimate de facto relationship.
One of the problems with Mr. Soeson’s visa application was that he sometimes referred to himself as Ms. Riit’s grandson when dealing with government agencies.
Barker noted that sex was an important part of most couples’ lives and asked Soeson if he and Riit had ever talked about not being physically intimate.
“We don’t talk about it,” he said. “We never thought about this, about having a sexual relationship.”
The couple had not shared a bedroom because Mrs Riit’s snoring bothered Mr Soeson.
Riit would also wake up screaming from nightmares about World War II and the brutal Soviet occupation of Estonia.
Barker said that when Riit attended court in January she “didn’t seem oriented to time or place” and was “quite distressed” by her surroundings.
Friday’s hearing concluded with Barker telling Soeson he would make a decision in the coming weeks on his visa application.
