A woman who waited for her wedding day before she had sex for the first time revealed her horror when she discovered that she was suffering from a condition that painfully affected sexual intercourse.
Social worker Stephanie Muller, 23, from New York, grew up in a Christian family and made the decision to save himself until marriage.
In 2013, she met her now-man, 31, and started dating him in 2015. But the couple only discovered her problem when they went on their honeymoon.
Her decision: Stephanie Muller, 23, from New York decided to wait to have sex until marriage
Her love: she met her husband, Andrew, 31, in 2013 and the couple got married in 2017
Angry: They had a hard time having sex during their honeymoon and Stephanie later discovered that she was suffering from vaginism
Frustrating: her condition is an involuntary contraction of the muscles around the vagina and can make it painful to have sex
Two years into their relationship, the couple got married in May 2017 and planned to have sex during their honeymoon, which would have been Stephanie’s first time.
What is vaginism?
Vaginism is the involuntary contraction of the muscles around the vagina.
This can happen at random intervals or during sex.
The exact number of women suffering from the condition is unknown because patients feel too embarrassed to tell their doctor.
It can start for women in their late teens and 20s when they start using tampons or have sexual intercourse.
Physical circumstances, such as sexual abuse or past trauma, can also contribute to the condition that is thought to be psychological.
Vaginismus is usually treated with Kegal exercises to strengthen and relax the pelvic floor, as well as counseling.
Source: Cleveland Clinic
“Early on our honeymoon, we had trouble penetrating, but thought it would take time to become more comfortable,” Stephanie said The sun.
“But then I got a yeast infection and I felt very uncomfortable.”
“I had never had one, and it took almost three months because the different medicines I received didn’t work.”
When she recovered from the infection, she thought it was and she could have sex, but this was not the case.
She finally decided to tell her gynecologist in January 2018, who diagnosed her with vaginism, a condition where the vagina suddenly tightens.
“My husband and I talked about how vaginism really de-sexualized our relationship; it was almost like living with a roommate, “she said.
“We would even be careful with other physical things because neither of us wanted to suggest trying to have sex, being disappointed, and the night would end in tears.”
She referred her to the vaginism and the Women’s Therapy Center, but warned her that this would not be covered by insurance, so she wrote her to Vicodin, a drug used to relieve moderate to severe pain, to have sex with her husband to have.
Heartbreaking: Stephanie said the condition de-sexualized her marriage, but she now shares her story to help other women suffering from the condition
Someone to lean on: “My husband has been incredibly helpful during my journey with vaginism,” Stephanie said
Perseverance: Stephanie refused to believe her condition. She discovered pelvic exercises and a dilator to help
Stephanie refused to believe this was the solution and decided to do some research on vaginism and the ways in which it can be treated.
She discovered the use of pelvic floor therapy and bought a dilator set in an attempt to make sex more comfortable; Stephanie now says she was embarrassed for years about not being able to have sex with her husband, and admits that it took a heavy toll on their relationship.
“Having vaginism is a heavy weight, and what makes it so difficult for the most part is the isolation and shame that comes with it,” she said.
‘I felt really embarrassed, broken and as if I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Andrew and I had the feeling that we had lost this really big thing and that we had to mourn it alone.
“My husband greatly supported my journey with vaginism.
“Every time I would say negative things about myself, he always assured me that none of those things were true and that he loved me.”
Opening: Stephanie has been more open about her condition in recent years
Important: ‘She has since made it her mission to speak out about the condition and her journey to help other women go through a similar test
Unashamed: “It’s so important for me to talk about it freely, because I’m firmly convinced that vaginism is not a shame,” she said.
In 2018, she was finally comfortable enough to trust her friends about vaginism and how it had affected her marriage. In January 2019 she called the Women’s Therapy Center to begin her treatment and with proper guidance she was able to overcome vaginism after the completion of the treatment in May 2019.
Since then, she has made it her mission to speak out about the condition and her journey to help other women go through a similar test.
“There is a huge lack of awareness about vaginism and I believe that where there is a lack of knowledge, there is fear,” she said. “There are so many things I would like to bundle and say to someone in the same situation.
“It’s so important for me to talk about it freely, because I’m firmly convinced that vaginism is not a shame.
“I always say that, because the fear and shame of it kept my mouth shut for so long, to speak boldly about it, feels like a nice act of rebellion.”