A woman who was divorced twice before turning 35 has revealed what really went wrong in her marriages.
Leah Marie Mazur, now 41, was first married from 2008 to 2014, but discovered that she and her ex were “not compatible” before they split.
In 2016, the New York native met and married her second husband, but again, things didn’t work out and they divorced in early 2019.
Leah said she had a “wake-up call” and dedicated herself to “practicing mindfulness, meditation, journaling, and cultivating self-awareness,” which ultimately led her to have “the healthiest relationship she’s ever had” with her now husband of three years.
A woman who was divorced twice before the age of 35 reveals what went wrong in her marriages
Leah Marie Mazur, now 41, was first married from 2008 to 2014, but discovered that she and her ex were “not compatible” before they split.
Leah said her past traumas, including losing her mother when she was just 16 and then her father five years later, led her to enter into inappropriate relationships.
She said: “I don’t have any siblings and I had to recover when I was 21.”
‘Among these enormous losses, I found myself in an abusive relationship which left me even more devastated.
“I struggled with abandonment, low self-esteem and had no idea who I was.”
After her first marriage failed, she rushed back into dating.
Leah said: ‘Instead of taking the time to heal, I started another relationship to distract myself from my failed marriage.
‘Two years later, we broke up and I was back on the dating apps, terrified of being alone and worried that no one would want me with all my “baggage.”
‘I met someone online, he moved in within three weeks and we got engaged eight months later.
She was married for the first time from 2008 to 2014 and then for the second time from 2016 to 2019.
Leah said she had a “wake-up call” and dedicated herself to “practicing mindfulness, meditation, journaling and cultivating self-awareness.”
‘It wasn’t enough time to get to know each other. I decided to leave.
‘My second divorce was my wake-up call. I knew I needed to focus on myself and my healing.’
Leah continued: ‘The biggest misconceptions about divorce are that it means you are selfish or a failure.
‘That couldn’t be further from the truth. You are responsible for your own happiness.
‘If your marriage is negatively affecting your well-being, you need to do something about it.
‘It’s important to try to address your problems and concerns before giving up, which I did many times.
“But if you feel like you’ve done everything you can and nothing is getting better, you should leave.”
She knew it was time to look inward and focus on “self-healing” before looking for love again, something she now teaches her clients as a “divorce recovery coach.”
“I started practicing mindfulness, meditation, journaling, and cultivating self-awareness,” Leah said.
‘This helped me understand why I settled for my marriages and made better decisions in the future.
“I learned to love and forgive myself and meet my own needs for the first time.”
Leah has since found love again and has been happily married since June 2021.
Now, sharing her experiences in her work, Leah’s goal is to “help women heal and rebuild their self-esteem after divorce.”
She said: ‘During COVID, while working from home, I learned about life coaching.
‘The more I learned, the more I knew this was my calling.
‘I took online courses, became certified, and started my own coaching business, focusing on helping women through the divorce recovery process.
‘I knew exactly what they were experiencing: guilt, shame, feelings of failure and loss of self-esteem.
‘I wanted to share the tools I learned and the mistakes I made to help others find the light at the end of the tunnel.
“It gives me a lot of purpose and makes everything I’ve been through worth it.”
And Leah has offered some advice for divorcees preparing to re-enter the dating pool.
She said: “I don’t think there’s an exact formula for how long you should wait before dating again, but I do think it’s important to understand your intentions.”
She said: “I don’t think there’s an exact formula for how long you should wait before dating again, but I do think it’s important to understand your intentions.”
‘Are you dating because you feel lonely, bored, need a self-esteem boost or are afraid of being alone?
‘Those are not the right ingredients to build a solid foundation in a relationship.
“If you feel complete and happy on your own and would like to date because you’re looking for someone who will add value to your life, that’s a great sign that you may be ready.”
Leah has since found love again and has been happily married since June 2021 to her third husband, who chose not to be named.
She said: “I am now in the healthiest relationship I have ever been in because I took the time to focus on myself and heal my emotional wounds.”
‘I got to a place where I felt complete, happy and fulfilled, and that’s when we met.
‘I think we came out at the same level as our self-esteem.
‘When you know your worth, love yourself, and know what you bring to the table, you will have higher standards, stronger deal-breakers, and attract healthier partners.
“It always starts with you.”