A woman has sparked a fierce debate after revealing she only wants to take her biological son to Disney, insisting her boyfriend can pay for her stepchildren.
The anonymous mother, from the US, took to popular Reddit thread Am I The A**hole to candidly detail her dilemma.
The 31-year-old woman explained that she had found herself in a rather difficult situation due to her partner’s unstable financial situation.
Readers were bitterly divided in the comments, but what do you think?
The anonymous mother, from the US, took to popular Reddit thread Am I The A**hole to candidly detail her dilemma.
The mother began by explaining that she shares a two-year-old daughter with her boyfriend but that he has two other children, ages nine and eight, from a previous relationship.
She wrote: ‘I am the breadwinner because he can’t keep the good jobs.
‘We lost our rental a couple of months ago due to their lack of financial responsibility. (I didn’t know he wasn’t making payments for certain bills, so paying everything and catching up became too much.)
‘For these last few months we have been living with his parents and our goal was to pay off our debt. Well, I’ve caught up on almost $10,000 in debt, while he’s only been able to pay $500.
‘I find it funny knowing that he doesn’t earn a lot of money, however, I know that he has no payments other than his phone and daycare. Therefore, paying a little more for debt should not be a problem.’
The exasperated woman continued: ‘Anyway, this summer I really wanted to take a trip to Disneyland. I told him we were going together, he agreed.
“Well, as it gets closer, it’s now saying we don’t need to go, it’ll be too hot and too crowded.” “The little one won’t remember it, the older kids don’t like Disney anymore,” and he tends to use these types of tactics when he realizes that he can’t do it financially.
‘I have no problem doing 50/50, but that’s where he won’t meet me halfway. He would prefer no one go.
The 31-year-old explained how she had been left in quite a difficult situation due to her partner’s unstable financial situation (file image)
Seeking advice from readers, he concluded: “So my question is: Would I be a jerk if I decided to take a trip with just me and my biological son? And will he pay if he can afford it?”
‘I hate this situation, but I firmly believe in not letting my son miss out on experiences if others are not willing to do it for him. That’s why I work so hard, so that she never misses anything and she has everything she wants and needs.’
And the Reddit post was soon inundated with comments that left readers bitterly divided.
On the one hand, there were many users who argued that the woman was indeed wrong.
One person wrote: ‘Let me get this straight…you, your underachieving boyfriend, and your three kids live with their parents and you think going to Disney is a smart choice?’ YTA.
“Take the money from Disney and put down a deposit on an apartment for you and your daughter.”
A second person commented: ‘YTA. It would be 100 percent okay to bring just your biological child, if you were separated from your boyfriend.
‘However, you can’t go out, live and have a baby with a man who has two children and then treat the children unequally. That will only breed resentment, which will make your life more difficult in the long run.’
On the one hand, there were many users who argued that the woman was indeed wrong.
Another wrote: ‘YTA. Your daughter NEEDS a house. She’s not even old enough to know if she WANTS a trip to Disneyland.
“Take the money you’d spend on vacation and go house hunting, preferably without your financially unstable boyfriend.”
Someone else spoke up: ‘YTA. You are a family unit. If your boyfriend doesn’t do everything he can financially for the family, you don’t punish the kids. And also, why do you travel to Disney if you have financial and housing problems?
But on the other hand, there were those who argued that she was wrong as such. The person commented: ‘NTA: Oh darling. It’s been two years of this. He’s not going to change.
‘I understand that you want to be with him and it is not unreasonable to want to live apart.
But keep strict boundaries and don’t give him a key. If you’ve paid off your debt and can pay for your own place, the security deposit, or the first three months of bills from your savings, I recommend going on vacation.
The mother began by explaining that she shares a two-year-old daughter with her boyfriend, but that he has two other children, ages nine and eight, from a previous relationship (file image).
But on the other hand, there were those who argued that she was wrong when one person commented: ‘NTA: Oh honey. It’s been two years of this. He’s not going to change’
‘Treat yourself, but as others have said, your baby won’t really remember it, so don’t go into debt for anything again.
‘The photographs are priceless, but I worry that he will get upset and do something to ruin those memories. Please focus on yourself and what is best for you and your baby.’
A second person added: ‘NTA. He. Is. A vagabond. Leave him and move on to someone who is an equal partner, not a leech.
Another wrote: ‘NTA. It doesn’t seem like your partner contributes anything. Save your money to move you and your child. This is one of those situations where you could do better on your own.
‘He will never grow up between you and his mother, who rescues him for his lack of effort. He is comfortable. You are wasting your years.
It sounds like you’re starting to resent him. This will only get worse the more you have to give up the things you want, because you have to cover his ass financially.’
One person added: ‘NTA to take your own daughter to Disney without the extra kids as long as you take her without them knowing and honestly I’d leave the boyfriend at home. She needs to improve.
“I don’t understand why you put up with his financial instability since it literally left you and your son homeless.”