A woman has revealed that she refuses to pay for the expensive private school education of her teenage daughters, now that she is pregnant.
Shared in the post on Reddits & # 39; Am I the A ** hole? & # 39; forum, user thrwayAmIReally explained that she and her husband agreed without – without the knowledge of his daughter – that she would stop banking her education if she became a teenage mother.
& # 39; My husband was a teenage father, we will name his daughter as An. An & # 39; s mother, grandmother and (super) grandmother were all teenage mothers. An is now 16 years old and pregnant, & she wrote.
Take a position: a Reddit user has revealed that she wants to stop paying for the & # 39; own & # 39; private school education of her teenage city daughters now that she is pregnant (stock image)
The stepmother said that when An turned 14, she wanted to go with them to a high school in the big city where they live.
They included her in a & # 39; beautiful & # 39; private school because the local public high school has a & # 39; terrible & # 39; had a reputation and the Reddit user paid around 75 percent of the tuition fee.
& # 39; She has always been wanting to become an economist and moving to another country to pursue her dream, & # 39; she said about her stepdaughter. & # 39; I have also separated some money for this purpose.
& # 39; My husband and I came to an agreement that I would also help her make dreams come true, but I would stop all economic help with regard to her lessons if she became a teenage mother (An didn't know this) and he voted & # 39;
I will tell her that I will not pay her beautiful school and the expenses of her child if she decides she wants to keep it
The woman said the interview took place two years ago, and now An is pregnant after her first school year. It is unclear what the teenager is planning to do, but her stepmother has advised to end the pregnancy.
She explained that she provided articles and statistics about teenage mothers, which make it clear that having a child will make her a part of a vulnerable population and hamper her dream of studying in another country.
However, the woman said that An's mother and grandmother both & # 39; ecstatic & # 39; and think they can make teenage pregnancy better for her than for them.
& # 39; I think they are absolute madmen; I bet they don't even have the money to pay for the hospital when the time comes, & she said. & # 39; I believe they think we will pay all the costs of the unborn child.
& # 39; I'm dead serious about stopping the tuition and using the money I saved in other things if An decides to continue with the pregnancy, she added.
Difficult: Many Reddit users agreed that the woman is not obliged to continue paying for her stepdaughter to go to private school, but they feared that her decision would end her marriage
& # 39; I do NOT have the & # 39; end or stop paying your tuition fees & # 39; but I will tell her that I will not pay for her beautiful school and the costs of her child if she decides she wants to keep it. & # 39;
The woman emphasized that she doesn't feel like becoming & # 39; one of those grandma & # 39; s & # 39; s who will eventually take care of the child, but she is willing to deposit part of the money she used to pay An & # 39; s lessons for the child's expenses.
The woman admitted that she can afford to continue to pay An & # 39; s private school fees and give away some money for both the university and the future child, but she feels she will burden herself to & # 39; to reward her for being irresponsible & # 39 ;.
When An has the baby, she said she can go to a public high school or one in her father's budget and try to get a scholarship for a public university because she refuses to pay for another private school.
She stopped taking the pill because mother told her she was going to get fat
Her husband feels that she is punishing An, but she believes that he and An & # 39; s biological mother have to pay her expensive high school when they are no longer there to go there.
& # 39; My husband tells me to understand the situation, & # 39; she explained. & # 39; I do not and will not support this teenage mother dynasty in any way, this is the hill on which I will die. & # 39;
Although she has not yet discussed the situation with An, she plans to tell her that she can pay her high school or child benefits, but not both.
In an adaptation of her original message, the woman revealed that the father of the baby is a young man she met during her extracurricular activities outside of school. The parents offered to pay child benefits, but they can only pay $ 300 a month unless their son gets a part-time job.
The Reddit user also revealed that her stepdaughter was supposed to be on birth control, but her mother was concerned.
Critics: Those who thought that the woman was wrong were claiming to give her step-daughter an ultimatum, whether or not she called it
& # 39; She stopped taking the pill because mother told her she would get fat and then put her on the & # 39; natural & parenting, just like having sex before, during and a few days after her period, & # 39; she explained.
The situation is undoubtedly complicated, but many people agreed that the woman is not obliged to continue paying her stepdaughter to go to a private school.
& # 39; It's your money; do what you feel comfortable with, & # 39; a person wrote. & # 39; I think you are very generous to pay most of her education and I understand why you would feel uncomfortable and continue to support her afterwards. But discuss a discussion with An about it before you make your decision known. & # 39;
Someone else added: & It seems that if someone were to make sacrifices for the baby, it would have to be the mother of the baby. There are limited resources and they must now be shuffled around.
& # 39; I feel this is the end of OP & # 39; s marriage. & # 39;
Many people feared that the woman's marriage would come to an end if she stopped paying the school fees for the teenager.
& # 39; This is a completely morally justified hill to die on. However, if you are going to do this, you should be willing to lose your marriage for this, & a person warned. & # 39; Even if it is only a remote possibility, that is the potential endgame you are watching here. & # 39;
Some wondered why the woman paid most of the tuition fees in the first place, but in the comments she explained that her husband helped her with her school debts when he could, and now she pays back the favor while holding his new one business starts.
The Reddit users who thought that the woman was wrong were claiming to give An an ultimatum, whether or not she called it.
& # 39; My problem lies in the fact that you are currently trying to force her hand by asking her to choose between her future and the child she has with her & # 39 ;, wrote a Reddit user. & # 39; I am fully in the field of freedom of choice and I think that Yes, An & # 39; s life would probably benefit from the termination of this pregnancy. However, if she doesn't want that, it's her body and her decision. & # 39;
& # 39; Think the funny part is that you & # 39; She showed all of these articles about how ten (sic) mothers are a vulnerable group, but I don't see the irony in withdrawing support, & another commentator added.
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