A woman has revealed how her friendship was destroyed after she pulled out of her best friend’s wedding to support her partner’s terminally ill father.
The anonymous 24-year-old British woman posted on Reddit on August 17 to ask other users if she had made the right choice after being greeted with hostility by the bride.
Using a disposable account, named @Acrobatic_Bug_5295, the woman went into details about her situation on the subreddit, “AmITheA**hole?”
THE job amassed 4.8,000 upvotes and more than 1,000 comments – with many agreeing she should prioritize her rapidly ill partner’s father over marriage, let it be her best friend or not.
The Reddit user – who captioned the post as “AITA for telling my best friend I won’t be going to her wedding?” – said her best friend, 22, is getting married in less than three weeks.
A woman has revealed how her friendship was destroyed after she pulled out of her best friend’s wedding to support her partner’s terminally ill father (Picture: Shutterstock)
She wrote: ‘I was supposed to be a bridesmaid and had been excited for the wedding since before the engagement.
“I helped make decisions about the wedding, hen parties, bought my bridesmaid dress and booked my hotel.
The woman then explains her relationship with her 24-year-old boyfriend, with whom she has been with for two and a half years and whom she has known for ten years.
She said: ‘When we first became a couple he told me his dad had terminal lung cancer. Three months ago we found out it had spread to his brain and he had three months to live.
“Over time his health started to decline, then suddenly over the last month.
“Because of all this we had to miss the bachelorette party as we didn’t want to leave my partner’s dad (my best friend and I live 2 hours apart and we don’t drive.”
Hinting at other travel options to join her friend, she continued: “Trains are expensive and take even longer than driving, so a last-minute rush from the hen to her dad would be next to impossible if someone something had to happen.”
The user went on to say that her partner’s father is at the end of his prognosis and currently in the terminal stages of his terminal illness, but that her best friend has only become more difficult and demanding for it.
She wrote: “A few weeks ago my best friend told me to make my boyfriend’s dad a priority over marriage. Yet a few days ago she demanded an answer on if we would be there or not.
“Unsure of what will happen at the last minute, we decided to decline to attend. We were heartbroken we won’t be there.
The anonymous 24-year-old British woman posted on Reddit to ask other users if she made the right choice after being greeted with hostility by the bride.
The woman then described the unpleasant response she received from the bride, who went to great lengths to exclude her from the wedding.
She said: ‘She caught my response and instantly kicked me out of the bridesmaid party chat. Then she ignored me for a few days.
“When she finally responded she said she understood why my partner wasn’t there but she didn’t understand why I wasn’t.
“I explained that I refused to leave my partner alone during one of the most difficult things he will go through, and his father is also a father figure to me.”
She added: ‘I’m also disabled and haven’t traveled alone overnight since 2019. She’s still very upset and angry and ignoring me again. So I’m confused. Am I the a**hole?
The woman was offered overwhelming support and words of encouragement for trusting her instincts and following through on a difficult decision.
One user said: ‘NTA. Being there for your partner when a parent is lost is a priority.
Another agreed, writing: “This person is not your friend, a true friend would understand this situation and wouldn’t expect you to abandon your boyfriend and his family when his father is dying for a any reason.”
Some people gave more balanced and neutral responses sharing their support, with one saying, “Sometimes life presents us with a no-win situation like this, and you just have to follow your gut. Don’t feel bad for making your choice.
Another person similarly wrote, “You support your partner. These may be the last moments you both see your boyfriend’s dad.
“The bride, however, has every right to be upset because one of her best friends isn’t there, but her actions were blown out of the water and shouldn’t have acted that way.”
The woman was offered overwhelming support and words of encouragement on the post for trusting her instincts and following through on a difficult decision.
One user looked at the situation from the bride’s perspective and outright suggested that the original poster could have approached the situation in a different way.
They said: “Your partner’s father has been terminally ill for at least 2.5 years. This is a good time to work on accepting what is happening.
‘You already missed the bachelorette party because he could die at any moment, he didn’t. She must have asked you if you were still going to attend the wedding, and again, you’re not coming because he could die at any moment.
“I guess if he died just before the wedding it wouldn’t be a problem, she would be upset but she would completely understand.”
“She feels moved by something that didn’t happen and which, despite its inevitability, may not happen until after marriage.”
They then prompted: ‘Speak up! It’s not something to do with messages.
The Woman’s Dilemma isn’t the first time a terminally ill person has come between a ruthless bridezilla and her big day.
In 2022, a bride revealed she wanted to ban elderly guests from her wedding because her fiancé’s grandmother with Alzheimer’s is “depressing” and could “ruin the day”.