DEAR EMILY,
I heard you’re taking some time to avoid irritating the French and have traveled from Paris to Rome. Well, take it from someone who knows: don’t assume it’s all going to be la dolce vita and pizzas.
Yes, Italians can seem less dismissive than the French (most people seem that way) and you could argue that Rome is more provincial than Paris. But believe me, Italians can be just as complicated. If not more.
Half Italian, I have had a house in France for 23 years, so let me tell you my experience.
One of the first meetings I had with my Italian father took place at the Antico Caffe Greco, an 18th-century café on one of the most elegant streets in Rome where, among other illustrious patrons, Byron and Keats used to drink coffee.
Lily Collins in Rome to film Emily In Paris. Helena warns that no fashionable Roman would be seen dead in sneakers outside a tennis court in exclusive Aniene
I was a nervous teenager, three weeks into a relationship with a father from whom I had been separated since I was two years old due to my parents’ divorce.
My father and I sat at one of the round marble tables. When the waiter arrived, I gently asked for a cappuccino, one of the few Italian words I knew at the time.
‘It’s not possible!’ -My father screamed. ‘How can a daughter of mine embarrass me so much?’
He had committed the heinous crime of ordering a latte after noon. Something no self-respecting Italian would ever do. My father almost disowned me on the spot.
When I heard you were heading to Rome, Emily, my heart sank. I sat watching your TV series (set in Paris) at my home in Languedoc, watching through my fingers as you trashed the language, wore hideous clothes, and assumed that every man you met was trying to have sex with you. By the way, the latter is much more likely in Italy.
I can only hope that you have become a little less clumsy and that you have thrown away your bestial beret and your Breton stripes, because they will go down as badly among the Romans as among the Parisians.
Let me give you some tips that will save you from your next misstep, or from becoming a figura brutta as the Italians say.
Unfortunately, based on recent photos of the new series, it looks like you’ll be getting off on the wrong foot by wearing what, like most Americans, I assume you call ‘sneakers.’
Despite the city’s famous cobblestone streets, no fashionable Roman would be seen dead in sneakers outside a tennis court at the exclusive Aniene club (full name Circolo Canottieri Aniene).
Opt for loafers (preferably Tod’s, Gucci or Salvatore Ferragamo), ballet flats or wedges that are easy to walk in. Rome is a city that is known on foot and you won’t get very far with the dizzying Louboutins of Parisians.
You’ll hear the phrase ‘beautiful figure’ a lot. This does not mean having a pretty figure; It’s much deeper than that. It is at the center of everything Italians wear, do and say.
It loosely translates as dressing well, being well-mannered (no, God forbid, rude, i.e. rude), making a good impression, and being intelligent, all in one. It combines style, dignity, education, elegance and even decorum. It’s the most important advice I can give you. If you maintain a beautiful figure, you can’t go wrong.
Lily Collins, Ashley Park and Camille Razat star in Emily In Paris
For most people, the easiest part is dressing well. So at least do that, Emily. Please. No more flashy outfits that make you, as my daughter says, “stand out like a clownfish.”
Rome is ideal for a relaxed and informal style, but it has to be elegant. Invest in some classic Italian designs, well fitted and made from good fabrics.
And don’t assume that just because you managed to survive being judged by a Parisian woman that the women of Rome will be easy to deal with. Remember, there is only one thing a French woman fears, and that is an Italian woman.
While we’re on the topic of natives, if you find French men lusty and a little too attentive, you haven’t seen anything yet.
Photos of you filming with handsome actor Eugenio Franceschini hint at an Italian love interest that seems appropriate: Italian men have one mission in life and that is to seduce. Wherever you go, you will hear shouts of ‘ciao bella’, from boys on scooters, from men passing by you, from taxi drivers queuing and even from police officers in impeccably pressed uniforms.
My mother, who is 81 years old, lives in Umbria. A few weeks ago a plumber came to fix the shower. He spent more time flirting with her than fixing her plumbing.
—You Italians don’t care how old, how ugly or how sick a woman is, right? she joked.
Helena advises avoiding the Aperol spritz, which is only for tourists
No self-respecting Italian would order a latte after noon, writes Helena
He shook his head. ‘Basta che breathe’, was her response (‘As long as she breathes’).
Emily, the next thing we need to talk about is food. Remember that in Italy, pasta, whether spaghetti, penne, linguine, rigatoni or farfalle (and yes, you should know the difference between them and many more), are all starters. Don’t be embarrassed trying to order it as a main dish, unless you identify as a seven-year-old.
And I know you Americans love what you call “Parmesan” with everything (NB: it’s just parmigiano), but if you order it with spaghetti alle vongole, the waiter may escort you to the airport. In fact, any pasta dish containing fish or seafood doesn’t work with Parmesan because it overpowers the delicate flavors.
We have already talked about coffee with milk but keep in mind that an espresso for after lunch or dinner comes after the pudding and never with it.
Also remember that Italy is the birthplace of leather accessories and sunglasses. Don’t skimp on these. The Romans will notice and judge you. People, especially women, look at your shoes and bag and will form an opinion about you based on them.
I’m sure you’ll go out for drinks at some point. Could you not embarrass yourself by ordering an Aperol spritz? It’s only for tourists. If you want to look like a local, order a Campari and a soft drink. The same applies to limoncello, which is drunk only when offered by the restaurant owner or host.
I am sure that if you keep all of the above in mind, everything will be fine. Just don’t be a brutta figure. I can’t stand to watch if you do.
BEST, HELENA
Helena Frith Powell is the author of Ciao Bella – Sex, Dante and How to Find Your Father in Italy, published by Gibson Square Books.
