Emetic Alec Baldwin and his fake Spanish baby factory Hilaria are selling off their family of nine in a last-ditch greedy bid for cash with a new reality show, ‘The Baldwins’.
Do you know who won’t have their own family reality show? Halyna Hutchins, the cinematographer and young mother who was accidentally shot dead by Baldwin on the set of ‘Rust’ in 2021.
Alec is preparing to stand trial in a matter of weeks, charged in New Mexico with Hutchins’ manslaughter.
TLC, home of wholesome cultural references like ’90 Day Fiancé’ and ‘MILF Manor,’ is footing the bill for this disgustingly narcissistic show, premiering next year.
Which makes me wonder: How willpower Will filming continue if Alec ends up in jail (‘Rust’ gunsmith Hannah Gutierrez-Reed was sentenced to 18 months behind bars on the same charges in April)?
Emetic Alec Baldwin and his fake Spanish baby factory Hilaria are selling off their family of nine in a last-ditch greedy bid for cash with a new reality show, ‘The Baldwins’.
Imagine the shenanigans.
Alec sobs quietly at the news of another positive pregnancy test.
His wife Hillary, a basic white girl from Boston who spent a few summers in Spain and now sounds like Javier Bardem, corralling her Latina brood as they run recklessly through the Santa Fe jail.
A TLC press release promised – threatened? – that the Baldwins will ‘open up their lives for the first time and invite everyone to join in the non-stop love, laughter and drama.’
Because there is nothing funnier than the drama of a broken family: Hutchins’ son, then 9 years old, was left psychologically speechless during two days upon learning of his mother’s death.
And what about the relentless love Alec showed in that cocky meeting with ABC News reputation-washer George Stephanopoulos, where he apparently implicated Hutchins in his own death?
“It’s all under her direction,” Baldwin moaned in December 2021. “I’m holding the gun where she told me to hold it, which ended up right under her armpit.”
Do you know who won’t have their own family reality show? Halyna Hutchins, the cinematographer who was accidentally shot dead by Baldwin on the set of ‘Rust’ in 2021.
Alec is preparing to stand trial in a matter of weeks, charged in New Mexico with Hutchins’ manslaughter.
In another vomitous promo for the show this week, Alec ‘It Wossont Me’ Baldwin personally joked: ‘We invite you into our home to experience the highs and the lows, the good and the bad, the wild and the crazy.’
These wild and crazy highs and lows include:
- Hilaria and Alec squawking at photographers on the side of a road, before strutting for said photographers in highly posed pap walks and sporting fishnet stockings that hug their panties… Mid-January in New York City!
- And fluffy family man Alec calls his then-11-year-old daughter Ireland from his previous marriage a “thoughtless little pig” in a 2007 voicemail.
Tight budgets and falling social capital really do make the most unsightly among us even uglier.
New H&M humiliation
If losing Posh and Becks’ friendship wasn’t humiliating enough, the nasty Sussexes have had a football-shaped hole ripped in their Netflix raft, and the figures watching them sink like a stone.
Newly released data from the streamer saw Queen Victoria (and consort Dave) emerge triumphant, garnering 43.9 million views in the second half of last year for their hit docuseries.
By comparison, H&M’s complaint marathon crossed the goal line with just 12.6 million.
Result golden The balls shine brighter than ginger.
Auf Wiedersehen, bra!
German model and sausage provocateur Heidi Klum celebrated her 51st birthday by sunbathing with her balloons in a totally naked Insta selfie.
Clearly this frau has not arisen from her insatiable hunger for attention.
German model and sausage provocateur Heidi Klum celebrated her 51st birthday by sunbathing with her balloons in a totally naked Insta selfie.
Hunter’s main protagonists
As Hunter Biden’s gun trial begins in Delaware, Dr. Jill puts on her best pantsuits for in-person shows of support for her stepmother.
Also accompanying the lady are her half-sister Ashley, of ‘showers with my dad’ infamy, and his wife Melissa Cohen.
Bleached blonde and clearly poorly built, Mad Melissa (a new 38 to Hunter’s 54) has been getting into the swing of things, calling a Trump staffer a “Nazi piece of shit” outside the courthouse.
Maybe he’ll calm down when he realizes he’ll soon have to re-enter the men’s market if Hunter ends up in jail.
parade of ignorance
It was a rainbow showdown when ‘Queers4Palestine’ protesters attempted to disrupt a Philadelphia Pride parade by wearing a curious collection of keffiyehs and butt-baring bondage gear.
One sign said ‘There is no pride in genocide’, but does anyone have the courage to tell these aliens that homophobic Islamists would love to commit genocide against every letter of the LGBTQIA alphabet?
Baby Gaga?
Lady Gaga looked full of life at her sister Natali’s wedding this weekend, sporting a big smile and a noticeable baby bump that had tongues wagging: Could a new star be born this way in the coming months?
But fans hoping to go wild over a little monster in mom’s oven were left disappointed when she quashed the rumors in a statement on Tuesday.
A reminder that there are several reasons why a budding star may not stay thin. And as we well know, it is never polite to ask a Lady.
Lady Gaga looked full of life at her sister Natali’s wedding this weekend, sporting a big smile and a noticeable baby bump that had tongues wagging: Could a new star be born this way in the coming months?
Crying Caitlin
WNBA flop artist Caitlin Clark must have a terrible time dribbling while balancing that halo.
Our Iowa Martyr is the talk of the town after Chicago Sky’s Chennedy Carter hip-checked her on the mezzanine during Saturday’s WNBA game.
“This is not a basketball play,” Saint Caitlin preached afterward. “But you know, I have to get over it.”
Someone give this girl a crown of thorns!
If Clark didn’t go off like Michael Phelps every time someone coughed in his direction, he’d have a little more sympathy.
And that $28 million Nike endorsement deal doesn’t exactly scream “victim” either.
congressional clown show
Tennessee Rep. John Rose must have missed the memo that Congress is not a daycare, because his 6-year-old son Guy upstaged him Monday, pulling faces out of the pews for the cameras.
Rose’s wife, Chelsea, whom he met when he was 42 — she was a 17-year-old high school student and married four years later when she came of age — could have picked up his son, but she may not have his license. still.
Tennessee Rep. John Rose must have missed the memo that Congress is not a daycare, because his 6-year-old son Guy upstaged him Monday, pulling faces out of the pews for the cameras.
grim justice
Canadian serial killer Robert Pickton strangled the lives of potentially dozens of prostitutes and indigenous women in a years-long spree in the late 1990s and early 2000s.
In an even grimmer twist, Pickton, a farmer by trade, then fed his victims’ corpses to his pigs.
When he was finally caught, the government had to issue a notice to those who may have eaten his pork products.
Pickton was beaten to death in the hole last week. Enjoy hell, huh?
