Many of us are guilty of setting unrealistic New Year’s resolutions and giving up on them just a few months into the year.
While goals are an important part of setting your intentions for the coming year, life coach and counselor Linda Magson He is convinced that we are doing wrong in all of them.
“We have this feeling of failure if we set goals that are too ambitious, too high, and we convince ourselves that other people will think we’re a failure,” Ms Magson told Daily Mail Australia.
“Then we end up thinking, ‘I just shouldn’t have tried that,’ and we go back to our baseline.
‘Most of the time, it is not the person who has not kept their resolution. It is your plan to get there, or the goal itself.
It’s also important to think about the reason behind your goal, Magson said.
The most popular New Year’s resolution has long been to lose weight, but will losing X kilos really change your life? Mrs. Magson thinks not.
“Often there can be some kind of pressure that makes you think, ‘Wouldn’t it be nice to be healthier?’ or ‘I want to wear those clothes that fit me a decade ago,'” she said.
‘They come to mind because health-related goals are the most popular, but they are not specific enough.
‘Why is it so important for you to lose weight? What is the value? How will it affect your life, your health and your relationships?
‘Usually it comes down to wanting to feel more confident. That’s what’s important.’
So instead of focusing their New Year’s resolutions on insecurities or “negative” aspects of their life, Ms Magson urged people to pay more attention to adding positive things to their routine.
Here are some goals she believes can help improve everyone’s lives and how to achieve them.
Sydney life coach and counselor Linda Magson (pictured) has warned against making unreasonable New Year’s resolutions as failure could further set back your wellbeing.
While many of us focus our resolutions on weight and fitness, Ms. Magson encouraged goal-setters to consider some small, specific changes they could make, such as decluttering
Create a joy list
One thing Ms. Magson strongly encourages people to try is to create a “joy list.”
A joy list is a catalog of all the activities that make you happy. It can be anything from playing a certain sport to enjoying a specific food.
“Anything that brings you joy, makes you feel energized or is a lot of fun can be added to your joy list and you can build on it throughout the year,” Ms Magson said.
“Then you can start setting aside time, either daily or a few times a week, depending on your schedule, to have moments of joy.”
If you regularly make time for yourself as part of your routine, you will feel happier and refreshed.
“It could make a little bit of a difference, or it could make a significant difference,” Ms Magson said.
‘By doing something on your list of joys, at the end of each month you will feel more pleasure in life. It can make everything else seem lighter.”
Gratitude
Gratitude has become a buzzword for self-improvement, but Magson is confident the attention is justified.
‘Happiness can seem fleeting. “If you get a new job, a new appliance or a new relationship, it can make you feel happy for a while, then it fades and you look for the next thing,” he said.
‘Whereas when you practice gratitude daily, that feeling lasts longer as you remind yourself of those positive achievements.
‘It can be really powerful to mentally go through a list of things you’re grateful for when you wake up in the morning. Those first five minutes of the day are very important.
“By doing this simple thing we can improve our mood, our sense of identity and feel like we are more on top of things.”
One thing Ms. Magson strongly encourages people to try is to create a “joy list” and add a joyful activity to their routine.
Order
We’ve all heard it before: “Messy space, messy mind.”
However, many of us still overlook the effects our environment can have on our well-being.
“Tidying up isn’t usually on the New Year’s wish list, but the idea that life is too complex and stressful is something everyone feels,” Ms Magson said.
‘Many people simply want a simpler space, but getting started can feel too overwhelming.
‘I would recommend choosing one space at a time (could be your workspace, entryway, bedroom) and focus on tidying it up.
‘Ask yourself, “What would make this really conducive to me? What would make me feel at home?” and work to achieve it.’
It’s also important to make sure your environment isn’t too plain or inappropriate for your routine.
‘You may need free surfaces to feel relaxed. Other people might need more personal items around them,” Ms Magson said.
‘Some need visual reminders that the world is a beautiful place, others are too easily distracted.
“Put yourself first and find what feels most comfortable for you.”
Try something new
“Try something new” sounds like a goal Ms. Magson would criticize for being vague, but she wants people to consider it in its simplest terms.
Every week or every month we should try something new. Whether it’s something as big as taking up a hobby or something as small as driving home differently.
“While it’s good to have a routine, it’s vital to break it at least once a week if possible,” Ms Magson said.
‘It helps give you different perspectives and keeps you open and flexible when faced with new ideas and changes.
“You may learn something new or feel refreshed and energized.”
Ms Magson suggested making cleanliness an important goal, saying: “Cleanliness doesn’t usually make the New Year’s list, but the idea of life being too complex and too stressful is something everyone feels.”
How to set achievable goals
So you have your goals, now how do you achieve them?
Magson believes the first step is to frame your resolutions as something exciting, rather than a chore.
“It’s not about ‘I can’t do this anymore,’ it’s about finding a positive substitute,” he said.
‘Let’s say you want to improve your eating habits. Instead of thinking, “I can’t eat unhealthy foods anymore,” think about some healthier foods that you like and feel like eating.
‘It takes a lot of energy to break bad habits and it can make you feel bad for doing them in the first place.
“Instead, reorient your goal as a change or replacement, something that makes you feel good.”
Additionally, despite giving advice on New Year’s resolutions, Ms. Magson doesn’t believe that the New Year is always the best time to start implementing new habits.
“It’s not the right time for a lot of people because it’s already a very busy period,” he said.
‘However, there is a great sense of structure, and sometimes pressure, to having a New Year’s resolution.
‘Think about the things you want to change and plan for them. Then, when the time is right for you, you can start presenting your plan.’
She also urged people to consider using planning frameworks, such as SMART or POWER, to adequately prepare for their adjusted routine.
“I like to use the analogy of buying a car,” Ms. Magson said.
‘You wouldn’t go out and buy a car without trying it out first, but you would research it and test drive it.
“The goals and resolutions are similar, we need to plan and test them before committing.”