As Lee Harvey Oswald walked through a crowd of officers and reporters in the hallway of a Dallas police station just hours after his arrest for the assassination of President John F Kennedy on November 22, 1963, he said something that resonates today in connection with another president.
“I’m just a sissy,” the small, rumpled and bruised accused murderer shouted above the noise.
Oswald was never able to explain what his cryptic message meant, as he would soon be dead, shot by a local nightclub owner while being paraded before the press like a mischievous trophy in an underground parking lot.
Was it a curious way of declaring his innocence? Did he suggest that the police needed a “counterfeiter” and he, handy, was it? Or did Oswald say that while he was indeed involved in a conspiracy to assassinate Kennedy, he was the sacrificial “patsy” who would allow other, more powerful co-conspirators to escape justice?
For what it’s worth, I believe Oswald shot Kennedy and he did it alone.
Still, Republican and Democratic presidents know that to protect the commander in chief from fatal political dangers, a White House filled with loyal brats—ready, willing, and able to serve the “greater good”—is ideal.
No one can match Donald Trump’s ability to create an assembly line of patties that has thus far enabled him to get him out of trouble before, during and after his presidency.
Look, I detest Vladimir Putin’s bestie, but you have to marvel at “Don” Trump’s ability to convince a lot of largely capable people to swear allegiance to him at the risk of losing their jobs, reputation and freedom.
Among them are lawyers, accountants, wives, family, lovers, fawning TV executives, cable news personalities, newspaper editors and reporters, politicians and violent insurgents, all willing to do his sinister bidding — no matter the legal ramifications.
In Trump’s “patsy” bill, gender, age, income, education, and even politics are irrelevant. All that matters is unquestionable loyalty to Donald J Trump.
Michael Cohen, Trump’s former go-to consigliere and self-confessed patsy, was sentenced to three years in prison for a number of crimes, most notably paying hush money during the 2016 presidential campaign to prevent two women from talking about sex in public. with the married candidate.
In August, Allen Weisselberg, the Trump Organization’s veteran money man, pleaded guilty to 15 felonies ranging from grand theft to tax fraud, while acting as the taciturn finance director of the family’s Byzantine company.
The last one to join that hall of patsies is Christina Bobb—whether she’s willing to admit it or not. The 39-year-old decorated Marine-turned-lawyer used her staunch conservative credentials in acting as a political commentator for an obscure cable outfit — One America News (OAN) — that treats Trump more like a heavenly savior than an earthly train wreck.
While there, she also recounted his lies about an election he lost. So he hired her to join his “team” amid the Justice Department’s (DOJ) investigation into why the 45th president was hoarding top secret documents at his Florida estate, Mar-a-Lago.
More experienced lawyers politely rebuffed Trump when he asked for their help to fend off a surrounding DOJ. They’ve probably noticed that serving this president usually translates to being stiff, smeared, or landed in jail.
So why would Bobb say “Aye, aye, sir” to Trump, when there’s a library of burnt ex-pats memoirs that chronicles his filthy history of infidelity and once rejects true “believers”?
I suspect Bobb’s life was unremarkable, as were the ones used and dumped for her. Trump was the way out of anonymity.
After leaving the Marines, she reportedly landed a job as a “junior attorney” at a California law firm, where she worked on patent infringement cases.
In 2014, she ran as an independent candidate for a seat in the United States House of Representatives in a safe Democratic neighborhood in San Diego. She finished last. In 2019, she was a cog in Washington, DC’s sprawling bureaucracy. Her glamorous title: executive secretary. Her chances of promotion: zero.
Like no one wanting to become someone, Bobb began her “reporting” career at OAN when, shortly after, Trump’s impressed surrogates called.
I am convinced that this intoxicating combination of position and being shoulder to shoulder with someone close to power is fueling the delusion among the fanciers that Trump is gripped by a motive other than how the latest dupe can benefit him. Bobb may have discovered Trump’s cynical modus operandi a little late to potentially go to jail as well.
This is why.
At the urging of another Trump attorney, Bobb signed a statement last spring insisting that all of the president’s men and women who made up his “legal team” had conducted a “diligent search” in Mar-a-Lago and only had few. found a few. sensitive documents that the DOJ wanted back. According to the New York Times, neither Trump nor any other member of that “legal team” was willing to sign the document.
Bobb added the following caveat before the affidavit was delivered to a top DOJ official on June 3, 2021: “The above statements are true and correct to the best of my knowledge.”
It turned out that the affidavit was neither “true” nor “correct”. It was false.
On August 8, 2022, the FBI raided Trump’s tacky Florida Xanadu fax and uncovered hundreds more silent records.
Looks like Bobb has been played. That’s what happens to buffoons who want to get up close to the tanned face of an old, accomplished con man they want to add to Mount Rushmore.
Now Bobb is the focus of federal prosecutors investigating whether “her actions constitute a obstruction of justice or whether she has committed other crimes.”
Of course every president has had his dicks. Richard Nixon relied on them to help him survive Watergate as long as he did. But eventually he lost them. Nixon understood that he had two choices: resign or be impeached by both houses of Congress. He resigned.
Unlike Nixon, Trump will never stop as long as he can continue to flatter and convince a large number of people to volunteer to take the fall for him.
So while Bobb faces the heat of the DOJ, “Don” Trump continues to skate — figuratively speaking. He may very well skate back to the White House — with a little help from his patsies, er, friends.
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the editorial position of Al Jazeera.
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