I owe an apology to Shawn Mendes. And, frankly, so do thousands of other people.
After years of speculation about the metrosexual heartthrob’s bedroom preferences, the pop star spoke out during a concert in Colorado this week, explaining that, even at 26, she’s “still figuring out” which direction she swings.
“Since I was very young, there has been something related to my sexuality and people have been talking about it for a long time,” Mendes said on stage. “It always felt like an intrusion into something very personal to me, something I was discovering in myself, something I had yet to discover, and have yet to discover.”
“The real truth,” he concluded, is that “I’m discovering it like everyone else.”
Well, now I feel terrible!
After years of speculation about the admittedly metrosexual heartthrob’s bedroom preferences, Mendes spoke out during a concert in Colorado this week, explaining that he’s “still figuring out” which direction he swings.
Because I confess that, like so many other gay men and so-called ‘allies’, I have participated in those years of intense Internet speculation – actually, an obsession – about Mendes’ sexuality.
If they have been spreading the stereotype that better-groomed and more feminine men has to being gay, or thirstily theorizing about his latest eyebrow-raising look (it seems love a tight crop top!): The Internet mafia has given poor Shawn a hard time. And sadly, I’ve been a part of that, albeit in a smaller, less vulgar way.
Certainly, I’ve joked for years with gay friends that, even though he’s had A-list girlfriends, Mendes must be one of us. And Lord knows I’ve probably tweeted or posted something saucy online, too.
The problem is that it all seems to have taken a terrible toll, resulting in Mendes being effectively bullied into coming out, or at least saying he might be somewhere on the sexual spectrum.
That he spoke out is not surprising given how intense and persistent this online campaign has been.
Just look at one viral video this month: a clip from a recent interview, during which an animated Mendes wore another incredibly taut crop top.
The comments posted below the video (many of them unpublishable here) were as cruel as they were endless.
“I know what you are Shawn,” one user mocked.
‘Is he officially out of the closet?’ asked another.
I confess that, like so many other gay men and so-called ‘allies’, I have participated in those years of intense Internet speculation about Mendes’ sexuality.
The most tragic part of what Mendes said in Colorado this week is that he believes his continued confusion about his sexuality is a universal experience: “I’m just figuring it out like everyone else.”
The truth is, in this waking world of 2024, it’s no longer common to still be “figuring it out” at age 26.
Fortunately, gone are the years when gay men routinely remained closeted well into adulthood, burying their true feelings or entering into unhappy, fake marriages.
It just so happens that Mendes and I are the same age and were born just a few months apart. I started to understand that I was gay when I was 13 years old.
I was in denial for years afterward. But at 19 I had already faced everything. Then my teenage sister accidentally “discovered” me during Thanksgiving dinner (it was an awkward holiday!), but I had planned to tell my family soon anyway.
In the early 2000s, when Mendes and I were growing up (before gay marriage and other equal rights became law), they were totally different from the United States today.
Now, the idea of reaching 26 and still living in a state of confusion seems deeply sad to me.
For all the acceptance of gay stories and stars, Hollywood and the music industry still retain an obvious bias toward straight icons. After all, they are easier to sell to the mass market, largely direct.
I’ve joked for years with gay friends that, even though he’s had A-list girlfriends (like Camila Cabello, pictured), Mendes must be one of us.
Maybe that’s part of the problem. But there’s also no doubt that years of cyberbullying have also contributed to Mendes’ late-stage confusion.
Modern society, especially the progressive left, is too obsessed with identity.
Terminal liberals online preach acceptance and love, but then demonize those like Mendes who refuse to conform to their list of woke desires and publicize their private desires.
Whether through the illusion of an ever-growing list of imaginary pronouns or the constant invention of new “sexualities,” young progressives have glorified sexual difference as an essential accessory, valuing victimhood and turning identity politics into social currency. .
This invasive (and, frankly, lascivious) obsession was always going to create a toxic culture. And famous faces like Mendes have paid the price.