Home Australia I can’t afford to attend my best friend’s wedding – so I’m lying about why I won’t be there

I can’t afford to attend my best friend’s wedding – so I’m lying about why I won’t be there

by Elijah
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A bridesmaid said she wants to lie to her friend that she can't afford to go to her destination wedding. She instead uses her money to go on holiday with her husband

A woman has been criticized for lying to her best friend about why she can’t attend her destination wedding.

The 32-year-old said she is set to be a bridesmaid at her best friend Kayla’s overseas wedding in four months, but will need at least $8,000 to go, using all her savings.

To get out of paying the ‘crazy’ money, she considers lying to the bride by telling her she can’t attend because she needs to spend her savings on major home repairs, when in reality she’s using the money to go on holiday with her husband.

People agreed that $8,000 was an ‘outlandish’ price to pay, but called out the bridesmaid for her dishonesty.

Kayla has a seven-day affair for her wedding in a ‘small’ town in northern Scandinavia, where her fiancé is from.

A bridesmaid said she wants to lie to her friend that she can't afford to go to her destination wedding. She instead uses her money to go on holiday with her husband

A bridesmaid said she wants to lie to her friend that she can’t afford to go to her destination wedding. She instead uses her money to go on holiday with her husband

She had to advance the date by a year due to family pressure, giving the guests only four months to plan the trip.

“Between flights, the hotel, the rental car, the bridesmaid dress, the full traditional outfit required to be used for some events, pet boarding, and general incidentals, we’re looking at a minimum of $8,000,” the woman said in a Reddit post.

She added that almost all of the city’s accommodation has been booked for Midsommar, with places left costing upwards of $300 a night. night, and all the spare rooms of the groom’s family have been claimed.

The bridesmaid said Kayla was ‘very apologetic’ about changing the date but did not acknowledge the ‘huge impact’ it would have on her guests.

For the past four years, she and her husband have been saving up for a three-week trip to Japan to celebrate their tenth anniversary, and she had booked flights for the trip just before Kayla announced the date change.

“Kayla didn’t know I’d just booked the plane tickets and when she broke the news she actually said, ‘You’re so lucky you saved all that money for a vacation after all!'” she said.

The woman feels guilty for prioritizing her anniversary trip over her wedding when Kayla spent thousands on her honeymoon years ago.

“My husband and I got married in Alaska right out of college when most of our friends, including Kayla, didn’t have very good or secure jobs,” she said.

“Now, we know it wasn’t entirely fair of us, but we shared the rent of a big house with all our friends, and flights to Alaska are nowhere near the $2,000 each it would cost us to fly to Kayla’s wedding.”

She said she is ‘scared’ to tell Kayla the real reason why she and her husband won’t go to her wedding, as she thinks it will ruin their friendship.

‘I could see why it would. She was a bridesmaid for me when she was far less financially secure than we are now, and she knows we have a lot of money saved up for travel,” she said.

‘I fear she would question whether our friendship is not worth canceling our Japan plans and flights. Our friendship means a lot to me, but I don’t think it’s fair to plan a wedding so expensive to attend and expect me to cancel our dream trip to accommodate it.’

Woman Will Lie to Bride, Saying She'll Use Her Savings on 'Major Home Repairs' Instead of $8,000 Wedding

Woman Will Lie to Bride, Saying She'll Use Her Savings on 'Major Home Repairs' Instead of $8,000 Wedding

Woman Will Lie to Bride, Saying She’ll Use Her Savings on ‘Major Home Repairs’ Instead of $8,000 Wedding

The bridesmaid, she said, wants to lie about having to do a ‘major home repair’ that will cost everything she and her husband have saved plus some more to get out of going to the wedding.

“Then when it came time for the Asia trip, we were gifted the trip by my husband’s parents,” she said.

‘I know there is a risk that she would find out the truth and get even angrier, is that risk worth it to avoid telling her the truth?’

Users were torn by the bridesmaid’s dilemma, saying that while $8,000 was an ‘unreasonable’ amount to pay, she shouldn’t be dishonest with Kayla.

‘$8,000 is an unusual amount to ask someone to pay to come to a wedding. Ever. Full stop. The answer is: ‘We just can’t afford it. We already booked our Japan holiday not knowing you wanted to change the date and we can’t do this,’ said one.

‘Your real reason is sufficient. Making something up would just make it risky. Tell her the truth.’

“You’re not an a**hole for not wanting to spend $8K to go to a wedding. But you’re an ***hole for trying to make up an elaborate lie. Just be honest and talk to your friend,” said another.

“Grow up and bite it,” someone added.

Others blasted the bride for expecting her guests to splash so much money on her wedding and dubbed her ‘self-centred’.

‘Anyway, f*** that wedding. She’s too much of a friend to expect someone to spend their dream vacation anniversary money on a wedding,” one person wrote.

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