A mother recovering from cancer has revealed that she is upset with her husband for his friendly relationship with the mother of one of her son’s friends.
Turning to British parenting forum Mumsnet, the mum explained in a series of posts how her husband hooks up with the other woman after their sons play a sport together on the weekend – always in a group.
But on top of that, she’s texting incessantly and the wife has seen messages saying, “I love you and your son.”
She said she doesn’t think her husband is cheating on her but it makes her uncomfortable, he refuses to listen to her concerns, and she insists the other woman is just being “nice”.
Commentators said the woman was ‘vile’ and played games, while others claimed that it was all too common for other women to start rallying around her husband when the wife had cancer.
Taking to British parenting forum Mumsnet, the mum explained in a series of posts how her husband is constantly reaching out and texting the mother of one of their son’s friends.
The mother said she does not believe her husband is having an affair, but is upset that he does not listen to her concerns about the level of connection with another woman.
Explaining the situation, the woman writes that her son has a friend in high school whose mother is very friendly with her husband and often asks him for a drink.
“I spent the year doing chemo and it was usually on my chemo days.” She said. I am now in remission but she never asked how I was.
“I feel like my husband is flattered by the attention but I feel uncomfortable.”
When they do socialize, she said, it is always with the other moms-to-be or her husband.
I don’t think they are having an affair. But the messages are getting more frequent. Am I unreasonable? she asked.
Commentators claimed that the other woman could not be trusted, and said that she may be trying to drive a wedge between husband and wife
Expanding further, she said their sons play sports together on the weekends and she’s “very social afterwards”.
He says he’s doing it for our son to have a good time. always goes. And you think I’m irrational and why be foul with a nice person?
The plot thickens when she reveals how the other woman had recently sent her a text message saying “I’m here for you”, even though she had already been through chemotherapy for a year.
My son and husband came home and she was still texting him saying I love you and your son so much. Then the screen showed my message to her saying that I feel rejected, so what did I do? I just get such bad vibes from her?
Some people thought there was an innocent explanation, and said the joint sporting activity made all the difference
Commentators were quick to urge the woman to trust her instincts, with one calling the other woman “manipulative.”
Another added: ‘You probably wouldn’t imagine. I was in my early 20s when I worked in cancer care and it was a real eye opener.
It’s something I’ve only seen other women do when they’re wives in therapy. Entering into the husband’s life in one way or another, firmly establishing him.
I honestly wouldn’t put up with your husband for facilitating her behavior, he needs to cut it off.
How did I reach them on the one hand and you on the other? She just plays the innocent by inviting him to put things together when she thinks you’re busy.
Another echoed the same sentiment, saying, “I’m out of the system.” She shouldn’t have told him that she loves him and your son.
“In my experience with men whose partner has had cancer, they’re scared, but they’re also selfish and angry that you can’t do what you did before, so it’s very common for them to get their needs met elsewhere.” It distracts from reality and he puts his needs first. Both are out of order.
However, others thought there was a more innocent explanation, with one suggesting that it is quite normal to be social after a joint sporting activity.
She said, “That’s good.” I used to play team sports and we would often go to the pub together after a tournament. The husband will pick me up later.
Another added: ‘Maybe you didn’t know you weren’t in therapy anymore and just thought if you were, this would be a perfect time for him to have a little ‘escapism’. I don’t think it’s weird. Now dinner for two will be different.
A third said she might just be trying to support her husband while he is undergoing treatment.
“I remember when my friend was having chemo, the scientist and his wife would give her anything and everything she needed, but it was actually her husband who needed the social distraction from the anxiety.”