I’ve done some things I’m not exactly proud of as I navigate the wild, unpredictable world of modern dating.
Like that time in my early 20s, when I drove to my ex’s house after he dumped me over the phone, I stood in his doorway crying and begging him to take me back, only for his mother came out and told me to go home.
Yes, he came running back a month later, but I still cringe.
Then there was the time I snuck into an ex’s house while he was sleeping to delete my naked selfies from his phone.
Honestly? I don’t regret it. The world will only see my tits when I decide, not when some bitter ex becomes trigger-happy.
But the worst thing I’ve ever done? Revenge cheated. Yes, I slept with a cheating boyfriend’s best friend. And let me tell you, the consequences were not pleasant.
Backstory: I checked my boyfriend’s Facebook messages (aka the original DM slide) and ‘stumbled upon’ his chats with another woman.
Turns out, while I thought I was just ‘going to the bathroom’ during a polo match, they were sneaking off for a cheeky kiss.
Jana Hocking shares her own experience with revenge cheating, before posing the question to her followers: does it ever work?
My gut had told me something was wrong when I met her that day, and sure enough, those flirty messages confirmed it.
I was devastated. With a broken heart. But since I was a 25-year-old starved of self-esteem, I forgave him after a fight and tried to move on.
Except… I didn’t really move on. The resentment simmered and it wasn’t long before the situation changed.
The following weekend we were at his local country pub and, after too many drinks, I noticed his best friend’s lingering gaze.
Well, full disclosure, I had noticed them long before that. Fueled by heartbreak, cheap wine, and a hint of petty revenge, I began flirting with him.
My boyfriend got angry and instead of calming down, I continued the party. Before I knew it, I was snogging his best friend in the back of a ute.
The next morning, I cried my eyes out, consumed with guilt and regret. As expected, word spread in the small town and my boyfriend dumped me (and fair enough).
It was a hard pill to swallow but, in retrospect, probably a blessing: we clearly weren’t meant to be together.
This whole complicated experience taught me one thing: deception for revenge does not heal a broken heart. Not even a little bit. Sure, there’s that initial surge of power, but it fades quickly, leaving you with a bigger problem than you started with.
Still, I was curious…does it ever work? Is it ever the ultimate power move? Or, as in my experience, is it always a recipe for disaster?
I posed the question to my Instagram followers and let me tell you, their responses were full of drama.
Let’s delve into some of these sordid stories and see how it all unfolded…

Jana Hocking looks at three very relatable stories of revenge cheating, but not all of them ended badly (archive image)
‘My revenge plan came back to haunt me’
Okay, this one’s a little far-fetched, one of my followers, let’s call him Rob*, told me a story that started messy and ended even messier.
When he was in a serious relationship, a girl he and his girlfriend knew spread the lie that he was unfaithful. It wasn’t, but the rumor separated them. They eventually worked things out, but he never forgot the girl who started it all.
A few years later, he is single again. One day, a classmate casually says to him, ‘Do you know that girl who accused you of cheating? Now he likes you. I couldn’t believe it.
“I just thought, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me.’
“But then I thought, ‘What if I went out with her? And as soon as she fell in love with me, I would break up with her. “I wanted her to feel what I had gone through.
So he went for it. They dated for four or five months and she seemed completely in love.
“It was strange because she was very nice to me,” he admitted. But in the back of my mind I kept thinking, “This isn’t real.” “I knew what I was going to do.”
The day he was sure she had fallen in love with him, he broke up. No explanation, no closure, just a clean break.
“I thought I would feel satisfied, like I finally got my revenge,” he said. “But honestly, I felt like an idiot. “I quickly realized it wasn’t worth it.”
But that’s not the end of the story. Years later, she met someone amazing, fell in love, and got married. Everything was going great, until he discovered that his wife’s best friend was the same girl from his petty revenge plan.
“I almost died when I realized it,” he said.
“They are very close and every time they go out, I just pray that she doesn’t bring it up.” It’s been years, but it still devours me. I thought I was getting even, but all I did was make things worse for everyone involved. I wish I had let it go.’
“He tried to steal his friend’s girlfriend, so I turned the situation around”
Then there was Sara*. “My ex was always the type to do something insignificant after a breakup, but this was next level,” she told me.
‘Not long after we broke up, he came into his best friend’s girlfriend’s DMs. And it wasn’t subtle. I was flirting with her, which was strange because I couldn’t stand her when we were together. Honestly, I think he just wanted to cause drama.’
The move did not go unnoticed and did not sit well with his best friend.
“I don’t know if it was revenge, boredom or just bad decision making, but his partner and I ended up dating,” he confessed. ‘It wasn’t planned, I wasn’t even trying to get back at my ex. It just happened.’
But the consequences were not exactly satisfactory. ‘I thought it might make me feel better, but it didn’t. No satisfaction, no relief, just something… nothing.
That said, there was an unexpected realization. ‘His best friend was much better in bed than my ex. So that’s it.
What’s happening in Las Vegas…?
Then there’s Tom* whose wife had too much fun on a girls’ weekend in Las Vegas.
He checked her photos on his phone while she was in the shower and saw his wife making out with a stripper in the background of one of the photos in her friend’s shared album.
“I seemed lost,” he told me. Now, as we know, that is still not an excuse; However, instead of confronting her, Tom decided to get revenge by dating a coworker at the office Christmas party.
“I thought it would help me feel better,” Tom said.
‘But instead, I screwed up. My coworker thought it was serious and told my wife after I told her it didn’t mean anything. Suddenly, I was the bad guy and everything exploded.”
Tom and his wife eventually left him and he almost lost his job after his coworker took him to Human Resources.
“I would never do it again,” Tom added. “It’s not worth the chaos.” Ok, that’s strike two for revenge cheating.
But not all stories of traps and revenge end in disaster.
Meet Jess*, who discovered that her boyfriend had slept with his ex. A tale as old as time.
Instead of crying and giving up on men, Jess decided to improve her love life. She started dating a successful businessman (well, I hate that word) she met at a networking event and made sure her ex knew exactly what she was missing.
“Our relationship basically ended when he cheated on me, so I wouldn’t exactly call it cheating, but it still felt like revenge. It felt good,” Jess explained.
“Seeing him sulk when he realized he’d leveled up was the best feeling I’ve ever had.”
Jess is now happily married to Mr Networking Event, proving that sometimes revenge is the ultimate shine.
‘He cheated on me with a prostitute. Then I slept with a high-level athlete.
Another woman, Maria*, came into my direct messages with a story that even surprised me.
‘Then I discovered my partner of 15 years using prostitutes. This was about 12 years into the relationship. I found a cheap lipstick in my car, definitely not my Chanel, and when I confronted him, he admitted it. He even told me I was a prostitute.
Your excuse? “He felt emasculated because I was earning more than him at the time.”
He had attended a very expensive private school in Sydney and apparently being paid less by someone from a small town in New Zealand didn’t sit well with his ego.
She went on to explain: ‘Looking back, I know it wasn’t the first time, just the first time I caught it. They gutted me.
“I had spent years trying to be the perfect Stepford wife: raising the kids almost alone, having kinky sex, cooking dinner in high heels, all while keeping my career going. I naively thought that was enough to keep him happy.
But despite his unforgivable betrayal, she decided to stay with him.
‘I forgave him. Or, at least, I told myself I did. “I was open-minded but also completely under his control,” he admitted.
But then, a week later, the opportunity for revenge arrived.
‘From a joint venture emerged a world-ranked boxer. A very well known one. And after years of feeling unworthy and betrayed, I snapped. I slept with him. And by “sleep with,” I mean it was three minutes long, and most of it involved me bending over in a skirt.
The brutal reality? The sex was terrible. But the moment she That my ex found out is priceless. He said, ‘Okay, so your revenge was on one of the toughest boxers in the world.’ There is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
For someone with his ego, it would have been crushing. “He probably still thinks about it to this day,” Maria said.
Unfortunately, the consequences were not so satisfactory. “The boxer had been trained by my brothers and supported by my parents, so when they found out, they were gutted.”
Oh.
So does revenge deception ever work?
Here’s the thing: It may seem like a quick fix, but it often leaves a bigger mess than you started with.
Sure, it might give you a momentary high: that sweet, sweet sense of justice. But most of the time it’s a Band-Aid on a gunshot wound.
If you’re tempted to get a little revenge, maybe take a step back and think about what you really want. Closing? Or simply so that it hurts them as much as it hurts you?
Because I have discovered (yes, yes, the hard way) that the best revenge is to move on.
That being said, I think there’s no harm in giving yourself a revenge glow.
In fact, I highly recommend it. Treat yourself to some Botox, vent your anger at the gym, and, heck, buy yourself a new wardrobe.
Revenge is best served… well… hot.
*Names have been changed