What is it really like to be married to someone with a foot fetish? TRACEY COX talks to people who lust after feet (and insist it’s no different to lusting after any other body part!)

You can watch Lily Allen (for a fee) on OnlyFans and there isn’t a woman over 30 who hasn’t had a lover ask her to keep her heels on in bed.

However, foot fetishes (podophilia) remain one of the most misunderstood fetishes, despite being one of the most common. Around five percent of the population has some form of foot fetish and one in seven people have had at least one foot-related fantasy.

As with most things that people don’t understand, myths abound.

Most people with foot fetishes are more interested in doing things with other people’s feet than having things done to their own, for example. The friend who is always looking for a foot massage probably doesn’t have one, although the guy who volunteers right away might.

Men are much more likely than women to have foot fetishes, but women have them too. And it’s not always about physical contact. Many people with foot fetishes are content just looking at their feet.

What causes foot fetish?

For some people, a significant experience with feet during their formative years plants the seed of their fetish.

A man told me that his mother had a particularly attractive friend who wore high heels, when all the other women he had met did not.

“I remember walking out of my bedroom when I first discovered masturbation (I must have been about eight) and seeing her heels delicately balanced on the rungs of a stool in the kitchen. The lingering post-sex arousal and the sexy shoes somehow mixed together. I’m sure that’s where it all started.”

On a biological level, the part of the brain responsible for sexual arousal is thought to be located near the area that processes sensory information from the feet. The proximity could cause a crossover, making the feet a source of arousal.

It’s also a taboo: a guaranteed way to make something attractive!

Have you ever had someone suck your toes? I have, and there is a clear erotic charge (although claims that there is a nerve in the big toe that connects directly to the vulva are not true).

Eroticism comes more from having a body part that we associate with sexually appreciated dirt.

Others are drawn to feet because they are often hidden or partially hidden, making them appear mysterious and forbidden.

Seeing a friend’s feet for the first time can be a curiously intimate experience, especially if they’re peculiar and reveal an unexpected vulnerability.

But what’s so sexy about feet?

While many of us can appreciate a well-groomed, good-looking foot, only a select few find it very arousing. Those who do, however, find that it can be just as (or more) intense than the average attraction to traditionally erotic body parts like breasts, butts, or genitals.

The arch of a well-formed foot, the feeling of giving or receiving a foot massage, the idea of ​​kissing, sucking or licking someone’s feet… it’s all incredibly arousing to someone who adores them.

Different foot fetishists prefer different things: clean feet, dirty feet, big feet, small feet, high arches, flat feet, feet with perfectly aligned toes, feet with crooked toes. Foot adornments are also arousing: shoes and stockings, ankle chains, toe rings, nail polish, even socks (even used ones) can all be arousing to a foot fetishist.

Many men like women in certain types of shoes, and those that reveal cleavage are especially popular. (There’s a reason why low-cut Louboutin shoes are so popular!)

As far as fetishes go, this one is pretty harmless. My feeling after researching and writing this is that we could all be a little less judgmental and more enthusiastic.

What it’s like to have a foot fetish

“It’s not something weird or creepy. It’s just appreciating a body part in the same way some men appreciate breasts or butts.”

Chris, a 36-year-old lawyer, has had a foot fetish since he was a child.

‘Imagine that you get as excited by the sight of bare feet as you do by the sight of a woman’s breasts. That’s how I feel. In the summer, I walk around a world full of topless women. Men are allowed to be “breast men” and go crazy when they see a nice pair: that’s fine. But if you get equally excited by feet, you’re weird.

‘Whenever foot fetishes are mentioned, people scoff or say, “How disgusting! Feet are dirty! How disgusting!” (It’s okay to lick genitals, where urine and blood come out, but is it disgusting to lick feet? Go figure!). You learn from a very young age to keep it a secret.

‘Women have foot fetishes, but they are few and far between. Some will please you by letting you suck their toes… but only once. Once is fun, the second time you’re a pervert. The first girl who gave me a ‘footjob’ (used her foot to massage my crotch) might have done it if she’d been raised less conservatively.

‘We are a minority, but there is no pride, no t-shirts, no people championing our cause. (By the way, just because I like feet doesn’t mean I like yours. That’s as stupid as guys who say they’ll put their backs against the wall when they find out a guy is gay. Being gay doesn’t make you want all men.)

‘The happiest time I was was when I was 32 and I was with a woman who not only indulged my fetish, but loved it as much as I did. She had beautiful feet and loved me admiring them. I loved the way her feet smelled when she wore heels and stockings all day. She let me massage them, kiss them, smell them or lick them. It was heaven. I was devastated when we broke up (it had nothing to do with the fetish, she moved for work).

‘Regardless of the sexual act I’m performing, my focus is always on the woman’s feet. If I can’t see or (preferably) touch them, sex isn’t half as exciting. I have sex without the involvement of feet (otherwise I’d almost never have sex), but it’s much, much better for me when I do.

‘I talked to a guy online about our fetish (we’re limited to doing things like this because no one talks about it openly) and he says his most intense orgasm is when a woman puts her bare feet in his face and lets him lick her toes. No touching of the penis is required.

‘All my sexual fantasies involve feet. My current favourite involves me sitting next to a woman on a night train wearing high heels, we drink and she uses her toes and feet to masturbate me to orgasm. Another involves me penetrating her with my toes.’

What it’s like to have a partner with a foot fetish

“It can make you paranoid. Every time we meet up with friends, I check to see if anyone is wearing heels that they think are sexier than mine.”

Amanda is 26 years old and has been with her husband Matt for four years.

‘Let’s be honest: of all the fetishes you can think of, the foot fetish is one of the best.

‘I wasn’t entirely surprised. Matt had always asked me to keep my heels on during sex, but so had plenty of other lovers, so I didn’t think much of it.

‘Although when I think about it now, one of the first compliments Matt gave me was about the shoes I was wearing.

‘We had only just started dating two months ago when he dared me to put my stockinged foot in his crotch. He said it as a joke, but when I did, I could tell from his face (and his erection) that he really enjoyed it. It’s still one of his favorite ways to orgasm – me using my foot (with stockings on) to massage him until he climaxes.

‘It’s not a big deal to me. It’s just his ‘thing’. We all have a kink or a kink that we’re attracted to. This is his thing. Is it really any different than a guy being obsessed with my breasts? It can be a lot of fun. The first time I let him explore my feet in a sexual way, I was really turned on. Seeing someone get really turned on is always a turn on. But I especially liked having them worship a part of me that I’d never really thought about.

“He loves feeling my feet in public. He pretends to drop something so he can slide his toes over the top of my foot when I’m wearing heels. His fetish is feet in heels, not bare feet, so I’m guessing his fetish has more to do with shoes than feet.

‘The problem with a couple with a heel fetish is that there are women in heels everywhere. When I found out, I got paranoid. Whenever we met up with friends, I would stare directly at women’s feet to see who my competition was and get jealous if any of them were wearing shoes that he thought were sexier than mine.

“My friends have told me that I’ve never succumbed to the idea of ​​wearing comfortable sneakers with everything. Sure, I wear old, worn-out sneakers and slippers or go barefoot when I want. But I take it as a compliment when my partner appreciates every inch of me.”

Visit traceycox.com to see Tracey’s books, blog, podcasts and product range (available exclusively at Lovehoney).