Married couples have revealed the most important advice they wish they had known before they tied the knot.
A mom took to Facebook on Thursday to ask what people need to know before marrying their partners – and the post quickly went viral with thousands of husbands and wives dropping advice.
From getting a two-bath home to learning to forgive easily and realizing that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, people were happy to share their tips.
“Never take your relationship for granted, marriage isn’t easy, and you shouldn’t forget that in the tough times,” warned one woman.
From getting a two-bath home to learning to forgive easily and knowing there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, people were happy to share their tips
“Involve your sense of humor every day,” said one woman, adding that she has been married for 52 years.
“You’ll have to listen to every minute of every single documentary your husband watches alone,” laughed another woman, adding that it’s better to just watch it together.
Others said it’s critical to learn each other’s love language.
“That way you can see what they are putting in the effort and you can give their best using their love language,” one woman explained.
“It’s easy to miss the signs if you don’t know how they express love.”
One man said that getting married to solve problems in a relationship never works.
“That old saying about women who marry men and expect them to change and men who marry women and expect them not to change is so true,” added another man.
But one happily married woman disagreed, saying that people are constantly changing, and so are their relationships.
‘Everything is constantly changing. You will evolve and so will your partner, but not in the same time frame, ‘she said. ‘So give each other room for growth and individuality.’
Many of the tips were about communication and honesty.
One woman who had been married for 50 years said that even if the truth is hard to hear or hard to tell, it’s better than the alternative that always hurts more.
But one happily married woman disagreed, saying that people are constantly changing, and so are their relationships
Others agreed and added relationships can recover from dishonesty, but it takes a lot of time and hard work.
Many men and women agreed that the workload in a relationship is not always the same.
“It’s not 50-50, sometimes 95-5, sometimes it goes the other way, but it’s give and take,” said one woman.
‘You have to know when they need you, when you need them and when you need them. It’s about balance and the levels of support should reflect that, ”said one husband.
Relationship expert reveals how to resolve disputes as a couple
Australian relationship expert Samantha Jayne told Daily Mail Australia that the best way to solve problems is with ‘three simple words’.
“Saying ‘I hear you’, it’s amazing how quickly the other calms down,” she explained.
“Often times in relationships there is a lack of listening, so when someone hears their argument being heard, it gives a sense of relief.”
While listening is a great way to begin problem solving, the point is quiet if you can’t see where the other person is from.
“It’s better to respond than to respond,” Samantha said.
Responding means looking at the problem from their point of view and having empathy for where they come from.
“Responding to a situation is a sure way to break up because it means being emotionally charged and tackling the issue with hostility.”
Instead of feeling offended by what your partner is trying to say, respond with “what I hear is”.
Often we do not give the other the opportunity to clarify what they mean.
By mentioning what you think they are saying, they have a chance to correct it.
Others shared tips about the wedding and engagement, because those events are the foundation of a strong marriage.
“Don’t spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding,” said one woman, and many agreed.
“Make sure you know the person and that you’ve been with them for at least two years,” added one man.
“Travel the world first so you don’t feel trapped later,” said another man.
While many agreed to talk about children, future plans and financial goals before getting married were important.
Others, dulled by past experiences, also added their own advice.
“Never get married,” one man said bluntly.
‘Love is a lie. Divorce is the best you can hope for, the alternative is death, ”said another man.
“Some people don’t deserve mister or madam’s right,” one woman objected.
One man even admitted that he wouldn’t get married again when his time was up.
“Make sure you do it for love, not lust,” he warned.
Some people added more practical lessons.
“Make sure he can change a toilet roll,” one woman laughed.
“Ignore these questions – especially if your husband could see the answer,” said one man.
“Look at their family before making decisions,” one woman warned.
While others said continuing regular dates after the honeymoon and having kids is a huge must.