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Woman sparks uproar after suggesting brides-to-be send “Sorry, you can’t make it” cards to guests who miss the RSVP deadline for weddings.
Nishma MistryLet’s develop together a draft message to send to family and friends who have missed the invitation deadline. after seeing the “frustrations” of brides.
The 39-year-old, herself married for 14 years, runs the Asian Bride Sorority and was constantly hearing complaints from brides who were irritated by guests who didn’t let them know if they were attending their nuptials.
The marketing manager, originally from London but now living in Atlanta, Georgia, explained that South Asian weddings in particular often have hundreds of guests and multiple days of events, so it’s very important to have a headcount .
Nishma Mistry drafted a message to send to family and friends who missed the invitation deadline after seeing brides’ “frustrations.”
The 39-year-old, herself married for 14 years, runs the Asian Bride Sorority and was constantly hearing complaints from brides who were irritated by guests who didn’t let them know if they were attending their nuptials.
Nishma recalled how, before her own wedding, she was frustrated at having to call her 550 guests to see if they were coming so she could sort out catering and table plans.
She wishes she had thought to send a message then and decided to help future brides by writing a draft declaration.
It read: “We’re sorry you can’t come to our wedding.
“Our response deadline has passed and unfortunately you have not responded.
“We would have liked you to be present, but the final figures have now been released and we will miss your presence. The married ones.
Even though some called him ‘nerdy’ and ‘harsh’, Nishma enjoyed a lot of support from the wives.
She shared, “I see the frustration of not getting RSVPs back. I was thinking of letting myself write something.
“I received some criticism that it was a little too harsh. People say it’s a bit cheesy. But people have the invitation for four months. This is inconsiderate.
Nishma recalled how, before her own wedding, she was frustrated at having to call all of her 550 guests to find out if they were coming so she could sort out catering and table plans.
Nishma admitted that the wording may need to be refined, but supports the need for it.
She said: “Everyone is allowed to have an opinion. In South Asian culture, there are often 500 people and multiple events.
“I had 550 guests. The wedding ceremony was one day. The reception was one day. We organized a pre-wedding event with 200 people and a civil wedding.
“I had to call everyone and ask them ‘are you coming?’ It was such a waste of time.
“You have a list the size of your arm to make and you try to appease everyone.
“People don’t realize the importance of responding.
The marketing manager, originally from London but now living in Atlanta, explained that South Asian weddings often have hundreds of guests and several days of events.
“I don’t think anyone has had to confirm its presence in our culture before. I don’t know if it was a label.
Nishma says she received a mixed response, but many brides could relate to it.
One said: “I love it. The people who have a problem with this are the ones who don’t want to respond.
Another said: “No, I wish I had done that.” Even the people who had RSVP’d didn’t show up, it made me so angry thinking about all the money we spent on them.
Nishma concluded: “A lot of brides responded by saying, ‘I’m stealing this.’ If I were to get married now, I would edit the text and send it.