Emma Thynn, viscount Weymouth, spent last Sunday on the couch with sobs, & # 39; heartbroken & # 39; to be the newest celebrity who had packed Strictly Come Dancing packages.
& # 39; I am very hard on myself, so I keep reliving every moment of that last dance & # 39 ;, she says.
& # 39; I torture myself about every step, every mistake. I did it strictly with all my heart, all my soul. I really put everything in it. Being part of it is so wonderful. It's … & # 39; Her lower lip is shaking.
Emma Thynn, Viscount Weymouth (pictured in her home in Longleat), said her time at Strictly Come Dancing took a huge physical and emotional toll
& # 39; I have done it with so much honesty. It is so visible. & # 39; Then tears overwhelm her.
& # 39; I'm not a fool, & # 39; she cries. & # 39; I know it is just a TV show, a competition, and someone has to go home once a week. The sad part is thinking about the dances that we (she and partner Aljaz Skorjanec) would have danced, but cannot do now. I wish I had another chance. Really.
& # 39; Aljaz had planned a great quick step and a paso doble. Strictly a bubble – a magic bubble – to fall out so quickly, so abruptly … & # 39; she searches for the right word and assumes & # 39; sad & # 39 ;.
Many of us who watched last week's results – recorded on Saturday but broadcast on Sunday – can simply add unfairly.
Before the jury's decision to save pigeon-toed BBC sports presenter Mike Bushell for the third time in the dance-off, well, let's say you're wondering if some crazy guy on the Sunday night team had the wrong tape has placed.
Emma and dancer partner and Aljaz Skorjanec remained & # 39; broken & # 39; after becoming the newest pair to leave the show in a controversial exit
Social media was flooded with responses that gave the show a solution. What does Emma think, who was responsible for the & # 39; dreaded & # 39; to dance samba?
& # 39; I knew it was a challenging dance to begin with. Everyone fears it. The other dancers looked at us as if they wanted to say "poor you". I realize that they (the organizers of the show) have to make sure there are different dances, but to go up the samba was … & # 39; She shakes her head.
& # 39; You must respect the jury's decision. I can not change it. I gave it my best chance. Motsi (judge Motsi Mabuse) came to talk to me afterwards. She gave me a hug. I went back to my dressing room and cried.
& # 39; Aljaz and (his wife and colleague professional dancer) Janette came up. My mother and sister, Sam, were there too. We had a drink. & # 39; She looks up through her tears.
& # 39; You know, the saddest thing was when Aljaz bowed to me after the jury's decision. That is what he did at the very first show.
& # 39; It's not just the dancing. It is an emotional and psychological experience. You cannot really describe it – the focus, the dedication. It really takes a lot of time. I loved every second. I was deeply saddened after the results showed. & # 39;
This weekend her six-year-old husband, the future eighth Marquis of Bath, Ceawlin, viscount Weymouth, takes her to cheer her up after her shock departure
Emma heard in April that she would be in the show and was & # 39; excited & # 39 ;. She said that she has since been struck by the overwhelming support of fans since her departure
She shows me her phone, clearly touched by the support she has received since.
& # 39; A mother sent me a video of her daughter who was crying. View these tweets here. I have around 1,000 messages – really genuine messages from people who care about me. & # 39;
This weekend, her six-year-old husband, the future eighth Marquis of Bath, Ceawlin, Viscount Weymouth, takes her to cheer her up. He introduces himself after I arrive and you know he would move heaven and earth to make her happy. Emma tells me how supportive he has been.
We meet in the Weymouth apartment on the first floor of Longleat, one of the most spectacular stately homes in the country.
The couple works hard to ensure that the 10,000-hectare estate in Wiltshire makes a profit. With its famous safari park, it first opened its doors to the public 70 years ago. The publicity generated by Strictly undoubtedly helps.
Emma heard in April that she would appear in the show and was & # 39; happy & # 39 ;.
& # 39; It was so difficult & # 39 ;, she says. & # 39; I have never danced before. You do something that lies outside your comfort zone. As the show progresses, everyone is exhausted. There is no time to recover. A bone in my foot fell into place of the jive. I have this pain from here to here. & # 39;
Every year Strictly appears to be in the midst of a Twitter storm, with many claiming that it is often celebrities of color who leave the competition the earliest, but Emma has refused to participate. Pictured: Aljaz and Emma during a previous dress rehearsal
She pulls out a black pump and points her ankle from under her foot. & # 39; That was terrifying. And last week, when I did the samba, I pulled a rib muscle.
& # 39; I had some kind of inflammation here, & # 39; she is holding her ribs & # 39; and the most awful stomachache.
& # 39; I could not eat all day what turned out to be our last dance, but of course you have to perform. This, of course, is nothing compared to what happened to poor Will (Bayley, the Paralympian who had to retire after injuring his knee).
& # 39; My heart really went out to him. The part (shown in the results) that you are waiting to hear whether or not you are going to do the following week is really frightening. You just hope you get through it. I was shaking. It is an extra-physical experience. & # 39; Unfortunately for Emma it wasn't like that last week.
Every year Strictly appears to be in the midst of a Twitter storm, with many claiming that it is often celebrities of color who leave the competition the earliest.
Viscount Weymouth says she has experienced racism closer to home, however, from her mother-in-law
Emma, the 33-year-old daughter of an English socialite and a Nigerian oil baron, who will be the first black marchiones of Britain when Ceawlin inherits, will not be drawn. However, she has experienced racism closer to home with her mother-in-law.
They are a famous unconventional family and there is no uncomplicated harmony between the generations. Her 87-year-old father-in-law, Alexander, the Marquis of Bath, lives on the top floor of the house with his erotic murals and visits & # 39; wifelets & # 39; to keep him happy.
Despite living in the same building, the Marquis of Bath saw his lovely grandchildren for the last time, John, five and two year old Henry, in the summer when they met him at the village festival.
As for Ceawlin's mother, Lady Bath – a former soft porn actress named Anna Gael who lives in France – she has never seen the boys and I suspect it is unlikely she will ever come. According to Ceawlin, she has repeatedly expressed the opinion that marrying Emma would ruin 400 years of bloodline & # 39 ;.
Lady Bath has denied the comment and said that she & # 39; has absolutely nothing against her daughter-in-law & # 39 ;.
Emma, the 33-year-old daughter of an English socialite and a Nigerian oil baron, becomes the first black marchiones of Great Britain when Ceawlin inherits (pictured together)
& # 39; My race was never discussed until I married in this family & # 39 ;, Emma says.
& # 39; I now feel, in all respects, a square pen in a round hole because of everything that is said about me. I have two guys with Nigerian descent and that's the most important thing, but you don't have to define a race. You just have to have thick skin.
& # 39; Every family has its complications. I now put my energy in the children. I just hope they grow up in a world where racing isn't as remarkable as it is today.
& # 39; I feel like having children – and the disease I had when I was pregnant – is probably more important than anything else for the person I am now. I am massively aware of how we can take everything for granted – how fragile life is. & # 39;
Sad as she is by her premature Strictly exit, it is put into perspective by her own life experiences. Emma, you see, was desperately sick during her pregnancy with John. She had a swelling and bleeding on her pituitary gland, a rare but potentially fatal condition. It started with a terrible headache in the third trimester of her pregnancy.
& # 39; It got so bad I couldn't move & # 39 ;, she says. & # 39; I was terrified in bed, hardly breathing, the pain was so bad. They finally gave me an MRI scan and saw this bleeding in my brain. If I had not been treated, I would not be here.
& # 39; I was so worried about the baby. Ceawlin slept in the hospital. You worry that they won't tell you the whole truth. He asked them questions in the hall to find out if they were honest because it was really serious. & # 39;
She received steroid injections to strengthen her unborn baby's lungs and he was delivered by caesarean section three weeks earlier. She was nervous for everything after his birth.
She says: & # 39; It was the most fundamental moment in my life. It's a bleeding in the middle of your brain. You can become blind, die. It doesn't get much worse than that.
& # 39; I really had a lot of headache in January. The worst I've had since it happened. I had an MRI scan and they said they were happy, but … & # 39; A heavy silence follows and you understand the fear Emma is still living with. Two years later she gave birth to her second son, biological of hers and Ceawlin, but born by surrogacy, after doctors had warned her that she would die if she became pregnant again.
The Weymouths went to a California clinic where they spent three months because Emma had IVF. & # 39; I've always wanted to have a second baby. Henry is our DNA. I am so grateful to the woman who carried him for us. Some women thrive and thrive when they are pregnant. I didn't do that.
& # 39; When the embryos are five days old, they evaluate them. The strongest embryos were boys, so we had a boy. They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but I don't know. . . You make the best out of what your life ever has. No one's life is perfect, even my life in Longleat. & # 39;
Emma was, she says, a shy child that her father Oladipo Jadesimi rarely saw. She was raised by her mother, Suzanna McQuiston, and half-sister Sam, a daughter from an earlier marriage, who wrapped her in love.
& # 39; People were looking at the three of us, two blondes and I, who grew up in a house and didn't know how to fit together. But they gave me the stability that I need and I still have them, thank goodness. Maybe I feel responsible towards them because they have always worked so hard. My mother used to do interior decoration for other people, then she did the real estate ladder thing.
& # 39; She grew her business and, as I grew, we always moved from home – bought a house, put it up, sold it. They encouraged me to live the best possible life and gave me everything. & # 39;
Emma is very generous at heart. Her life is, she says, a series of & # 39; sliding doors & # 39; been. Her mother was well connected and she knew Ceawlin from the age of three when she was a bridesmaid at her half brother's wedding with Ceawlin & # 39; s half-aunt.
It was a pure chance that they met as adults during a mutual friend's birthday dinner. Emma recently returned from LA where she had tried her hand to act. She says: & # 39; When we met again as adults, we were very excited to see each other. It had not occurred to me that this would ever happen. I promise this is not what I thought I would do. & # 39;
They went to a night club. Dinner followed and then a & # 39; spontaneous & # 39; trip to Paris. He proposed 18 months later and her father gave her away at her wedding in 2013.
& # 39; We clearly experienced it & # 39 ;, she says. & # 39; The whole thing (with his mother) was difficult, but we are a new family with beautiful children. That is my focus. & # 39;
John, who goes to a nearby primary school, was five years old when Emma was strictly used up. She raced back to Longleat on the Sunday where they celebrated with a pirate party.
& # 39; It was all strict, but it was not as if I had left the house to go to the circus & # 39 ;, she says. & # 39; We rehearsed in the town hall and when I had to go to London, I read the boys a bedtime story, put them to bed and drove through the night.
& # 39; I would wake up excited every day from the training because you learn so much. Aljaz puts so much work into the concept and the music. We enjoyed training so much.
& # 39; Aljaz will forever be my friend and (his wife) Janette. I am a good team player. I got along so well with everyone – the girls in the wardrobe, the hairdressers.
& # 39; I did it strictly because, well, who doesn't? I'm sad because it's over. It's not about being sulky and taking your toys away from you. It's just – look, it's your life for nine weeks. I have only seen my mother, sister, the boys, Ceawlin and the Strictly team.
& # 39; They become a kind of family, and when it's over, you have to leave your dressing room for the last time, pack your things and go. It is so abrupt.
& # 39; I haven't lost my marbles, but I'm going to miss it enormously. I will miss Aljaz. He was such an incredible teacher. I didn't want to abandon him, so you think: & # 39; Oh, if only all that & # 39; but I am so grateful for the experience.
& # 39; Ceawlin took care of the boys at home when we recorded the results. I spoke to him on the phone. He said that time heals all wounds. It will be fine. But Strict is more than the sum of its parts. It is something you have to give yourself in a way that is hard to explain.
& # 39; Now waking up without having to train, without your schedule, without your call sheet, is strange. I wish I had another chance to dance. Really. & # 39; Maybe she's going on the Strictly tour?
& # 39; I would like that. Would that be perfect? She smiles a huge, dazzling smile and nods.
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