Getting older can make you lose interest in sex or cause problems in bed, but it doesn’t have to be.
Whether it’s from low testosterone levels, erectile dysfunction, menopause, or other health issues, libido naturally declines with age.
Research has even shown that having a poor sex life after reaching middle age could lead to long-lasting conditions like dementia.
However, sex after 50 is not impossible.
Experts have even said that older people can still have a healthy and pleasurable sex life, regardless of age.
Dr. Rena Malik, a urologist at the University of Maryland, detailed in a recent video practical tips to have good sex with age.
Below are her top seven tips:
Aging can lead to a natural decline in testosterone and estrogen, leading to less desire and difficulty with sex.
Try morning sex
Testosterone, the hormone responsible for libido, is diurnal, meaning it is highest in the morning and gradually decreases throughout the day.
That means you’re more likely to have higher testosterone levels in the morning, leading to increased sex drive.
“Your testosterone level may be related to how high your sex drive is, so it works with our circadian rhythm,” Dr. Malik said. “It’s highest in the morning and continues to decline throughout the day.”
You are also less likely to feel fatigued in the morning compared to at night.
Dr. Rena Malik, a urologist at the University of Maryland, shared several tips on how to have pleasurable sex after age 50.
Consider your medical history
Dr. Malik suggested keeping track of your medications and conditions, as some of these can reduce sexual desire.
Consider talking to your doctor about possible alternatives if you are concerned that these medications are having an impact.
take your time
As you get older, spontaneous craving becomes less common. This implies that an individual is immediately aroused. Although spontaneous desire decreases, you are more likely to have receptive desire, which is a reaction to direct sexual stimulation.
‘That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong. It just means it takes a little longer,” said Dr. Malik. “Spend time in that foreplay place where you can really feel each other, enjoy each other, in other ways before penetrative sex.”
Experiment with your whole body
As you get older, it may take longer to reach orgasm. This is because the genitals can become numb or less responsive, which can make it difficult to climax.
This could be due to low testosterone or estrogen levels.
For women, low estrogen can cause problems such as decreased blood flow and lubrication, as well as pain during intercourse.
Pelvic floor problems, which can be due to factors such as childbirth, can also lead to problems, since the muscles that support the vagina are not as strong.
In men, low testosterone could lead to delayed ejaculation, as well as erectile dysfunction.
“What I tell my patients is if you look at the spinal cord, there are sensors that include pressure, temperature, vibration,” Dr. Malik said. “It’s important to experiment with different kinds of things that really stimulate those different areas of the spinal cord.”
This can include the use of sex toys, lubricants, or even BDSM to bring more sensation to the genitals and other areas of the body.
Use lubricant and other sexual aids.
Because women, especially, tend to be less lubricated around the vagina as their estrogen levels drop, consider adding lubricant, Dr.
Malik said.
“Adding the lube can make sex less uncomfortable and, in fact, much more pleasurable,” she said.
There are also aids you can use to improve balance, mobility, weakness, or fatigue, all of which could make sex more difficult as you age.
Dr. Malik said that foam positioning pillows and wedges could be a more stable alternative to regular pillows, and that door swings can help position yourself or your partner safely for certain sexual acts.
Be optimistic
“The brain is the most powerful organ you have for sex,” said Dr. Malik.
He cited research that looked at how people over 40 think about their sex lives. One study in particular, she said, found that those who were more optimistic were more likely to have “more frequent and more satisfying sex” when interviewed again 10 years later.
consider other options
If health problems persist and you don’t see any improvement, traditional sex may not be an option.
Dr. Malik said “get stimulated in other ways.”
“Spend time with your partner without expecting penetrative sex,” she said. ‘Find out what really turns you and your partner on, and you can still orgasm without a boner.’
