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Unhappy middle-aged spouses have affairs because they are people pleasers, says marriage therapist

Middle-aged people are more likely to have affairs because it is a time when they begin to “relive unresolved childhood traumas” and “cover their pain by cheating,” marital guru claims

  • Therapist Andrew G. Marshall revealed the surprising reasons why people cheat
  • He said it was caused by unsolved childhood trauma and being a people pleaser
  • The counselor says that things start when a “people pleaser” becomes “selfish.”
  • Often middle-aged couples worry about the meaning of life and marriage

A marriage counselor has claimed that the increase in middle-aged spouses often has to do with reliving their childhood traumas.

Therapist Andrew G Marshall, based in the UK and Berlin, has revealed the three deeper psychological reasons why a married person could physically deceive or embark on an emotional affair behind his partner’s back.

He explained that things could happen as a result of addiction problems, as well as unresolved youth traumas, which were suddenly emphasized in later years.

A recent survey showed an increase in middle-aged cases, with approximately 20 percent of spouses over 55 years of age confessing to have an affair, while only 14 percent of those over 55 admitted to cheating.

Andrew G Marshall, based in the UK and Berlin, has revealed the three deeper psychological reasons why a married person could physically deceive (file image)

Andrew G Marshall, based in the UK and Berlin, has revealed the three deeper psychological reasons why a married person could physically deceive (file image)

Andrew, who wrote 19 books about marriage, told it datingroo: “People lovers hope that other people know what they really want, so they go along with what everyone wants.

“Then they will suddenly move in the completely opposite direction to become the most selfish person possible.”

Another reason why a spouse could start an extra-marital affair is the unresolved child trauma, such as the death of a brother or sister.

Instead of realizing the root cause of misfortune and dealing with it, he claims that people think an affair will make them feel better.

Andrew added: “There is something about middle age. It brings back those unresolved children’s problems.

People pleasers spend their lives trying to make others happy because they think it will make them happy, told Andrew (photo) online dating comparison site datingroo

People pleasers spend their lives trying to make others happy because they think it will make them happy, told Andrew (photo) online dating comparison site datingroo

People pleasers spend their lives trying to make others happy because they think it will make them happy, told Andrew (photo) online dating comparison site datingroo

“They think I’m going to have sex and that will make me happy. This way they cover up this pain. “

The last reason is addiction, when a drunken encounter can lead to a full affair.

Andrew said, “I’ve often seen people who are gambling addicts who often have an affair because addiction passes.”

Andrew believes that middle-aged couples often start thinking about their lives as soon as they reach the age of 50 and realize that they are not where they thought they would be.

He believes that this leads them to look elsewhere for happiness, which often results in an affair.

Andrew also revealed that the number of people committing adultery is higher than expected, with a third of his customers tackling the problem.

He admits that ‘statistics are very high’, but says that what unhappy spouses think is ‘real love’ is usually just ‘fantasy’.

To save a marriage after adultery, Andrew recommends full honesty and a full apology where the person who cheated explains exactly what he regrets, and the recognition of deeper feelings.

Recent research has shown that only 14 percent of people over 55 admitted to fraud (file image)

Recent research has shown that only 14 percent of people over 55 admitted to fraud (file image)

Recent research has shown that only 14 percent of people over 55 admitted to fraud (file image)

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