Table of Contents
As I’ve revealed over the past two days in a life-changing new series, it’s possible to harness the power of your mind to manifest the things you truly desire.
What makes Power Manifesting different is that it’s not just about wishful thinking: it’s about using practical, down-to-earth psychological techniques to achieve goals that will improve your life.
Today, in the final part, we will see how to manifest love and transform relationships…
There is a beautiful concept in Greek mythology that when you search for love, you are actually searching for the other half of yourself.
This is how I think about my relationship with Kate, my wife and soulmate: she completes me.
And, in fact, I manifested it by bringing love into my life.
It has been reported that I used an Excel spreadsheet to find Kate. That’s not true because I don’t even know how to use Excel!
But I used my brain to put together an imaginary spreadsheet of my dream partner, and at the top was Kate, who had been part of my team for decades.
What makes Power Manifesting different is that it’s not just about wishful thinking, but about using practical psychological techniques to improve your life, writes Paul McKenna.
That’s when I realized that the woman I had been searching for my entire life was already in it.
At first I felt devastated thinking about two and a half decades of lost time together.
I spoke to an astrologer friend of mine right after we started dating and confessed that I was devastated that I had lost the potential of sharing so many years, but he said, ‘Paul, it would never have worked out before; all about time. They both had to get to this point in their lives to be where they are now for love to arise.’
Today, in the final part of this life-changing series from my latest book, Manifesting Power: The New Science of Getting What You Want, I want to share with you how to manifest love in your life.
But first, you must be able to open your heart to it.
Of course, this would be a lot easier if neither of us had a past.
Many of us have scars from being heartbroken, from having suffered betrayal, or perhaps the loss of a loved one.
However, it is important to remember this: love has never hurt you. When people don’t love us is when we get hurt.
This is a very important distinction to face, as you cannot manifest something you fear. If you say you want love, but it scares you, you’re less likely to get it.
LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF
People often use the phrase: “To find true love, you must first learn to love yourself.”
There is great truth in this saying: loving yourself truly opens the door to love. But how is that actually done?
A quick and effective way to do this is to listen to your inner voice. To do this, find a quiet place to sit and place your hand over your heart.
Then take a deep breath and ask yourself how you can love or admire yourself more today.
See if you can find something practical that is a tangible way to do this.
It could be slowing down the pace of your day, making sure you eat foods you like, rather than foods that aren’t good for you.
Your inner voice might suggest that you try not to rush through each day worrying only about others, without taking time for your own wants and needs.
Try to make this a daily practice. Whatever answer your inner voice of wisdom offers you, listen to it and act on it whenever you can.
There is a beautiful concept in Greek mythology that says that when you look for love, you are actually looking for the other half of yourself (File Image)
INCREASE YOUR EMOTIONAL FREQUENCY
We constantly emit a frequency based on our emotions.
Our mood and body are key to this.
For example, if you are angry or scared, then you are transmitting at a low frequency.
But if you are in a state of love, happiness, joy and creativity – all good things – you are transmitting at a high frequency.
The law of sympathetic resonance in music shows that if you have two pianos in the same room and you play a C note on one of them, you will find that the C string on the other piano will begin to vibrate at the same rate. For people, this equates to those on the same frequency gravitating towards each other.
So if you’ve ever wondered how it’s possible that all the happy people seem to find each other, now you know. It all comes down to sympathetic resonance and frequency.
The frequency of someone who is angry or sad is different than the frequency of someone who is happy and optimistic, so they are less likely to be attracted to each other. Try this simple exercise to increase your frequency.
- Close your eyes and imagine a movie screen in front of you.
- Now imagine that you are looking at a version of yourself that has a higher frequency; a you that is in a state of joy, peace, gratitude, kindness and optimism. Observe the expression on your face, your posture, the way you radiate happiness.
- Now, imagine floating on the screen and enter your higher frequency self. See the world and life through your happiest self. Listen to your inner dialogue (kind, optimistic and reassuring) telling yourself “everything is fine” and feel how good this higher frequency state feels.
- Next, notice where on your body you feel the best sensations and give them a color.
- Now imagine moving that color up through your neck, toward your head, toward your shoulders, arms, and fingers. Move the color down across your chest to your legs and then to the tips of your toes.
- Now double the brightness and color intensity and then double it again.
- Now, imagine being surrounded by this color and living at this higher frequency for the rest of the day.
- Imagine being surrounded by this color every day and living at this higher frequency in every aspect of your life going forward.
Love has never hurt you. When people don’t love us is when we get hurt, McKenna writes in her new book, Power Manifesting – The New Science Of Getting What You Want.
TEN THINGS TO MAKE OR BREAK A RELATIONSHIP
The reason I was single for years is because I had been heartbroken and that’s why I was commitment-phobic. I told myself, “I’m happily single,” even though part of me wanted to be happy in a relationship. I was simply afraid of the pain I associated with being in love.
For others, watching how their parents interacted with each other when they were little serves as a training video.
They tend to copy the same relationship dynamics they witnessed as children and unconsciously repeat the same types of patterns and mistakes over and over again.
With any relationship you start, these are the ten things you should consider to make it healthy and functional:
- Communication: The first question to ask in any relationship is: What is this person’s motivation? Are you looking for pleasure or are you looking for happiness? Happiness must come first.
- Invest time, effort and action: a healthy relationship is active and dynamic. It’s not just a happy ending.
- Self-care: You can only love someone functionally if you learn to love yourself. One of the big mistakes people make is thinking about their partner but not about themselves.
- Have a loving mindset: Love can be understood in many different ways, but it includes giving of your time and emotions. Even small acts of service, like making a cup of tea, help build a relationship.
- Disagree healthily: it is inevitable that there will be some conflict over time. What counts is how you work together so that you both feel heard. Instead of going straight to battle stations or passive-aggressive silent treatment, sometimes it’s okay to agree to disagree.
- Learn: we can constantly learn from each other, from our environment and from ourselves. Be open to this. Remember to also ask your partner: ‘What do you want or need for our relationship to flourish?’
- Have a vision for the future: The energy of a relationship flows best when it moves towards a destination that inspires us. This helps in both difficult times and good times.
- Avoid personal criticism of your partner, even during conflict resolution. Instead of saying hurtful things like, “You’re so negative,” ask them about their specific concerns so you can resolve differences without judgment.
- Pay attention to your partner: Your attention is one of the most powerful gifts you have. It shows your respect, helps you understand them better, and allows you to share deeper moments of intimacy.
- If you’re in a relationship, mentally go back to some of the happiest moments as if you were there again, reinforcing the positive aspects. This will help you fall in love even more.
- Manifesting Power: The New Science of Getting What You Want by Paul McKenna (Titular Welbeck Non-Fiction, £14.99). © Paul McKenna 2025. To order a copy for £13.49 (offer valid until 25/01/25; free UK p&p on orders over £25), go to mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937.