Tulisa Contostavlos has revealed that she urged ITV to “take her off camera” in the days after her exit from I’m A Celebrity because she was having a “breakdown”.
The N-Dubz singer, 36, quickly left Australia within days of being kicked out of Jungle, having removed all traces of her appearance on the ITV show from her Instagram.
Tulisa left fans wondering why she suddenly left Australia and decided not to appear on the Coming Out show alongside her campmates.
She later took to her Instagram to address speculation about her sudden departure and say she had been “overwhelmed” by the whole thing.
In the second part of Paul C Brunson We need to talk podcastTulisa opened up about how she really felt in the hours after she was kicked off the show.
She said: ‘When I came out, I started crying when I had the first moment to myself.
Tulisa Contostavlos, 36, has revealed she urged ITV to “take her off camera” in the days after her exit from I’m A Celebrity because she was having a “breakdown”.
The N-Dubz singer quickly left Australia within days of being kicked out of Jungle, having removed all traces of her appearance on the ITV show from her Instagram.
In part two of Paul C Brunson’s We Need To Talk podcast, Tulisa opened up about how she really felt in the hours after she was booted from the show.
And the first thing I did when I talked to my team was they said, “What’s going on?”
And I said, “Please don’t put me in front of the camera again.” I need to go now, too much. “I’m very proud of myself, but I tried too hard, too soon, I need to come home.”
She added: ‘Do you want it to be there on principle? When am I having a nervous breakdown right now? No, I need to go home and process this.
“I guess in a way I’m lucky to be that person who says if my mind doesn’t feel healthy, I’m going to take care of myself.” I’m not going to push myself any harder on any limit. I need to take care of myself, I need to protect myself.’
Finally revealing why she chose to archive all of her I’m A Celebrity photos on her Instagram when she emerged from the jungle, Tulisa said: “I deleted everything.”
‘I went out and the same night I was crying I thought I was not going to appear on camera again.
‘I was looking at my social media and it was all me and I was in flip-out mode. I just wanted it all to go away and go home and process things.
‘I wouldn’t say I’ve processed it all. I’m like 70 percent right now. To be in the public eye I need to do things that are a little more forceful, things like this (the podcast). Just keeping it 100% real.
Tulisa left fans wondering why she suddenly left Australia and decided not to appear on the Coming Out show alongside her campmates.
She said: ‘When I came out, I started crying when I had the first moment to myself. And the first thing I did when I talked to my team was they said, “What’s going on?” I said, “Please don’t put me in front of the camera again. I need to get out now, too much.”
And he added: ‘Do you want me to be there on principle? When am I having a nervous breakdown right now? No, I need to go home and process this.
Finally, revealing why she chose to archive all of her I’m A Celebrity photos on her Instagram when she emerged from the jungle, Tulisa said: “I deleted everything.” I went out and the same night I was crying I thought, “I’m not going to appear on camera again.”
‘I was looking at my social media and it was all me and I was in flip-out mode. I just wanted it all to go away and go home and process things.
“If I can be in the public eye and it’s like that, then I can do it.”
In the first part of Paul’s podcast, Tulisa opened up about the struggles she faced with her mental health both in the jungle and after her departure, with the star admitting she struggled to happily mingle with the “happy campers” while she was “sitting crying “. in his hotel room’.
Tulisa also spoke about the moment she almost quit the show, when the singer was left crying and struggling to breathe during a harrowing anxiety attack that was not shown on screen.
Explaining the battles she faced that viewers didn’t know about, Tulisa said: ‘Some of the things you didn’t see, I had night terrors for the first four days. I would wake up and have anxiety attacks.
“Not everyone knows those parts, so it wasn’t all easy for me, but I have a great poker face.
‘I can really activate it, especially when faced with adversity. The last thing I wanted to do was go in there and be a disaster. So if anything, I’ll be the greatest soldier there is.
‘So as soon as I give myself a task and get in and out of a plane, I’ll look like a warrior, because that’s what I do. I could sit and cry under the sleeping bag, that’s part of who I am too.’
Tulisa spoke about one particular attack that almost forced her to leave the show early, continuing: “I mean, at one point I cried on TV, but I definitely had an anxiety attack off camera.
In the first part of Paul’s podcast, Tulisa opened up about the struggles she faced with her mental health both in the jungle and after her departure, with the star admitting she struggled to happily mingle with the “happy campers” while she was “sitting crying “. in his hotel room
“I went to the smoking area to do it and still, I didn’t want them to know I was having an anxiety attack, so I was trying to slow my heart rate down, literally through my nose.
“I was like, ‘Okay, lower your heart rate. Lower your heart rate.” I wanted to leave that day. I thought, ‘I can’t do this, but this isn’t what I came here for.’
“I came here to hang in there and do what I have to do.” And there were many incredible moments, really joyful moments, thanks to the people. “People made those moments.”
Since being the third to be evicted from the jungle and subsequently returning to the UK, Tulisa had told how she felt “introverted overload” upon returning to reality, admitting she was hyperventilating and crying.
Tulisa is understandably wary of being in the public eye as she has been involved in several scandals, including a drugs operation by The Sun’s notorious fake sheikh.
During her talk with Paul, she went into more detail about how her introversion affected her at camp, as well as how it affected her time after her departure during the period when evicted housemates spend time with other campmates’ loved ones. and join them to greet the newly evicted stars at their luxury Gold Coast hotel.
Tulisa explained: ‘I’m a big introvert. I was really getting a little overwhelmed there, so I was probably the least in the camp. I was going to retire and go for a walk or hide in the cube. I spent 90% of my time alone.
‘Agoraphobia and being alone for so long really overwhelmed me being around so many people. They could see that and really understood it. They made jokes like, “He went to Airbnb. He’ll be back.”
Tulisa also recounted the moment she was about to leave the show, when the singer was left crying and struggling to breathe during a heartbreaking anxiety attack that was not shown on screen.
During her stay in the jungle, Tulisa opened up about her sex life, revealing that she has been celibate for three years and declared herself demisexual.
Reports emerged that Tulisa had a fight at the hotel after she was kicked off the show with her best friends, Michelle McKenna and Daniel Johnson, something her representatives have denied.
“When I came out, I think what pushed me over the edge the most was introvert overload. I had worked hard to do this and was ready to overcome all the fears and be the center of attention, but constantly being watched, so many hours a day , with nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, feeling so exposed everyone can see me, and also this underlying, probably irrational, fear of being watched.’
She went on to say that the feeling of being watched all the time reminded her that she was “under surveillance” by Mazher Mahmood, also known as the fake sheikh, a then Sun journalist who on Sunday tricked her into giving him a contact with the one she bought cocaine worth £800.
She noted that while everyone else at the hotel was “happy campers,” her past experience weighed heavily on her and she found it difficult to interact with others and pretend that she was okay.
She shared: ‘I did what I signed up for, but I got out, I processed, I felt how I felt. There are 11 other really happy campers there who are very happy to be there, happy to have the vacation and do it all with energy, with smiles, and you have someone who is sitting crying in his hotel room.
“In this day and age we live in, it’s like, ‘Do you want me to be there on principle?’ When am I having a nervous breakdown right now?
‘I need to go home and process this. If other people are not having the same experience as me, it is because they have not had the same experiences in the past and they are all current people who are doing radio or are on television. This is very much the norm for them. ‘This, for me, was a psychological experiment, on myself.’