A trans man stopped taking testosterone and had a baby after his partner found out he couldn’t have children.
Caleb Bolden, 27, from Chatteris, Cambridgeshire, began the transition six years ago, at the same time he began trying for a child through a sperm donor with his partner Niamh Bolden, 25.
She suffered three miscarriages and a twin stillbirth at 23 and 27 weeks before being told she would likely never have children.
Rather than pay an estimated £70,000 for her to undergo private fertility treatment, Caleb stopped his daily testosterone injections and turned to a sperm donor.
Six months later she fell pregnant from a sperm donor she found on social media, and Isla-Rae Bolden was born in May.
Transgender man Caleb Bolden, 27, (left) from Chatteris, Cambridgeshire, stopped taking testosterone and had a baby after his partner found out he couldn’t have children.
Despite enduring nasty comments from strangers and suffering from gender dysphoria during the pregnancy, Caleb loves being a dad, and he’s going to do it again.
Store manager Caleb said: “Getting off testosterone was a tough ride as I had so many hormones coursing through my body.”
‘It was soul destruction. The transition was something he knew he wanted to do from a very young age.
“But I knew from myself and my partner that it was something we had always wanted and I wanted to try it.
‘When it’s age appropriate, I’ll tell you the things that are relevant. I want other trans people to know that it is okay to have a child.
“We are no different than anyone else, just because we were born with a biologically different sex doesn’t mean we should worry or shut ourselves away.”
Store manager Caleb began the transition in 2017.
Niamh, also a store manager, found she was unable to conceive naturally in 2022 after miscarriages and stillbirth in 2019.
Caleb (right) began the transition six years ago, at the same time he began trying to have a child through a sperm donor with his partner Niamh Bolden, 25 (left)
Rather than pay around £70,000 for Niamh to have private fertility treatment, Caleb stopped his daily testosterone injections and turned to a sperm donor. Six months later she became pregnant.
The midwives and a consultant formulated a specialized care plan to ensure that Caleb was able to maintain his privacy throughout the experience.
He was even induced and delivered in a separate room, rather than a ward. Gave birth naturally in May 2023 at West Suffolk hospital (Caleb, Niamh and Isla-Rae pictured with midwife)
She said she was told that the eggs she produces are immature, so they cannot be fertilized.
Guidelines from the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence say NHS-funded IVF is only available to women “who have not conceived after two years of regular unprotected intercourse or 12 cycles of artificial insemination (where six or more are by intrauterine insemination)”.
This means that women in same-sex relationships, or couples in which one person is trans, must “prove” that they cannot conceive through artificial insemination (AI), campaigners argued.
Niamh and Caleb say this means she would be forced to undergo 12 consecutive rounds of AI, which could cost up to £80,000, before qualifying for NHS aid.
So Caleb decided to give it a try and stopped taking testosterone in January 2022, 27 months after he started.
After meeting a sperm donor through social media and building a good relationship, Caleb went ahead with IUI fertility treatment and found out she was pregnant in August 2022.
“I had been taking testosterone for 27 months and was told there was a good chance I couldn’t get pregnant and my period probably wouldn’t come back,” she said.
“But a month after stopping my menstrual cycle it came back and within six months and three tries with a sperm donor, I got pregnant.
After meeting a sperm donor through social media and building a good relationship, Caleb went ahead with IUI fertility treatment and found out she was pregnant in August 2022.
Caleb says he got a lot of support from the health care staff and they offered him separate rooms for the scans so the women wouldn’t see him.
‘From very early on in the pregnancy we received very good support from West Suffolk Hospital.’
He said most of his friends and colleagues were supportive, but some people suggested that “men can’t get pregnant.”
He says that he received comments on the street from strangers who pointed out that he was a man who was pregnant.
And he says his coworkers didn’t know he was trans until he revealed he was pregnant, but they supported him on his journey.
Caleb says he got a lot of support from the health care staff and they offered him separate rooms so the women wouldn’t see him.
The midwives and a consultant formulated a specialized care plan to ensure that Caleb was able to maintain his privacy throughout the experience.
He was even induced and delivered in a separate room, rather than a ward.
She gave birth naturally in May 2023 at West Suffolk Hospital.
“At first it was difficult, since I suffered complications: for the first four weeks after leaving the hospital I was in bed, so I could not have that bond with my daughter.
“During labor her heart rate was dropping rapidly and I underwent an episiotomy.
“But after leaving the hospital I was in agony, it was because there was a rupture in the episiotomy.
After meeting a sperm donor through social media and building a good relationship, Caleb went ahead with IUI fertility treatment and found out she was pregnant in August 2022.
He said most of his friends and colleagues were supportive, but some people suggested that “men can’t get pregnant.”
Healthy baby Isla-Rae Bolden was born in May at West Suffolk hospital
“The seam broke and I had constant infections for five weeks, I couldn’t move.
‘At first, for two weeks after giving birth, I breastfed, but it was quite difficult.
“I know she’s my daughter and I gave birth to her, but to me it felt really weird and I didn’t feel like that father figure to her.”
“I’ve recovered now so I can do a lot more and my partner has been very supportive.”
She is still pausing her testosterone treatment because she plans to get pregnant again later this year, with the same donor.
He added: “I want to be able to have a child one more time before I start taking testosterone again.”
“I’m planning to do it later this year and I’ll be using the same sperm donor again.”
