Let’s be honest here, we all go through times when we just can’t face having sex.
Whether you’re super busy, going through a boring sex phase or just plain stressful, sometimes it feels like just another chore on your to-do list.
Everyone has the right to refuse sex — and say no, you should, if you honestly can’t think of anything worse.
But our sex lives are like bank accounts, you need to deposit money every now and then to keep the balance in tip top shape.
Not all sex sessions have to be marathons, the feeling that sex has to last a certain amount of time is what keeps couples from getting it on.
We all go through times when we just can’t face having sex. Whether you’re super busy, going through a boring sex phase or just plain stressful, sometimes it feels like just another chore on your to-do list (stock photo)
But what if sex could only last minutes…and your partner is completely satisfied at the end of it?
Here are some practical ways to get it up and running quickly when you are lazy, bored or busy.
It has become in a good mood
1. Simmer. Get back into the mood before you were together physically. The more he turns before you touch him, the faster he will reach orgasm.
This takes a little effort on your part: text to say what you plan to do that night. Keep it simple: “I want you inside me tonight.” Or, “Wait and see what happens once the kids are asleep.” Go dirtier if you want. Up the ante by sending a sexy photo instead. It doesn’t have to be obvious: a hint of cleavage, an artistic cut to the side of your leg and a curve at your bottom.
This makes him think about sex all day long. By the time you put his hand on, he’s already ready to go.
2. Feel it in public. If you’re out to dinner, choose a restaurant with long tablecloths and create a feel under the table, preferably while the waiter takes your order.
3. She sexually punishes him on the way home. He stopped on the street and gave a quick, sexy kiss. Or do it on the bus, metro, or in Uber. It doesn’t have to be long and awkward, a quick one will do. It makes him look and feel like a rock god.
Tracy Cox (pictured) offers some ways to run fast and finish fast when you’re lazy
4. Put on some heels. Remove your knickers, replace your bra with a bra, put on some heels, and you’re done! It only takes a little effort to add heels before sex, but it looks like you really put in the effort. Play in his eyes: Guys are very visual.
5. Don’t ask for sex, just take it. Skip the nitty-gritty, grab him as soon as he’s in, unzip him, get him naked, and then perform expert oral sex. Start to the end, and you’ll be done in three minutes.
6. Watching porn with him. Men’s brains are trained to quickly orgasm when watching pornography: It comes down to anxiety about being caught (by mom, girlfriend).
Since a lot of women feel threatened watching him, it would be a kick if you watched him with him. (Some women mistakenly assume that watching porn means that he desires the woman he’s watching more than her.
Wrong: For most men, recent research shows that porn is just entertainment. They’ll click on and enjoy anything, half the time without even registering what the person on the screen looks like.
It is the action that usually interests him, not the person. Pick something cute and feminine and keep yourself busy while you’re at it.
7. Moan. Such a simple action with powerful powers of excitement. Groaning is something that disappears in long-term relationships—we moan during high-intensity sex that recedes the more we get used to each other.
We associate whining with steamy, sexy sex: Hear it from a long-term partner and it’s a welcome reminder that they still find us sexy, after all.
8. Dirty talk. It doesn’t have to be rude or vulgar. The best kind of dirty talk just describes what’s going on. “You look so hot when you do that” or “Your tongue feels amazing.”
Energizing
9. Use dual stimulation. If you’re giving him oral sex, reach out and play with his nipples. He bit his neck while giving him a hand job. Hold his cheeks firmly during intercourse.
Play with his testicles. Introduce new hot spot stimulation and you protect against the desensitization that occurs if you spend too much time in one place.
10. Touch yourself. Play with your breasts. Stroke between your legs. Put his fingers in your mouth and suck on them. Maintain eye contact. Yes, it’s porn – but that’s kind of the point.
11. Use excitement gel. These are gels designed to increase sensation; It’s packed with ingredients that create a tingly sensation around the clitoris, labia, or penis. CBD arousal gels and oils are also popular.
12. Get into position! Choose a sexual position that allows for deep penetration and a quick rush—both of which are more likely to make him climax faster.
If you’ve been in the same position for ages, changing position will activate and – again – reduce sensitivity. There is evidence that men reach orgasm faster when having doggy style sex.
13. Let him see you. Guys are voyeuristic by nature, so choose positions where he can see your breasts bouncing up and down; Open your legs wide.
14. Be more assertive, harder faster. If you’re having sex, raise your hips to meet him, squeeze his pelvis, and tell him to go faster, deeper, and harder.
15. Add a finger. If he’s about to orgasm but seems stuck in the stage he’s about to reach, add some anal stimulation. (You might want to warn him first, if you’re not sure he’ll like it.)
Apply some lube and use your little finger to play around the entrance to the anus or insert it all the way. Not only does it excite various nerve endings – and there are many of them inside the anus – the forbidden ingredient alone will drive him over the edge.
If he enjoys this, try a prostate massager next time. These are toys specifically designed to massage his “P” position. Devotees claim that prostate orgasms are the most intense you can have — and they happen quickly.
16. He/she does not enjoy anal play? Try pressing on his perineum (the hairless part between his scrotum and anus). Depending on the position you’re in, press the area firmly with your thumb or hold your hand in an “L” shape and push hard between his legs. This is an indirect prostate massage.
17. Use the “knockout” on him. If you don’t like doing them or don’t feel like doing a good DIY job, this is the solution. The “hitters” are males with masturbatory sleeves. Usually made of soft, ribbed silicone, you place it on an erect (lubricated) penis, hold it firmly and move it up and down the shaft. It’s inexpensive yet one of the most popular male sex toys on the market for good reason.
Maintain eye contact while working on it. Force him to close his eyes with you the whole time. More attractive than it looks.
18. Use a vibrator on you. Women have been manipulating sex in order to get it off and on for centuries. Instead of denying yourself an orgasm, get a real one by giving him your vibrator and letting him bring you to climax.
19. Lie back and watch. Want the ultimate effortless sex session? Tell him it drives you crazy watching him enjoy himself and then sit back and let him do all the work!
Tracey has two products with lovehoney.co.uk – Tracey Cox Supersex and Edge. Listen to her podcast, SexTok with Tracey and Kelsey wherever you are listening to your podcast.
