A colleague tells me that when she was about 30 years old, back in the 1990s, she went on her first date with a man about her age. When she asked him where he lived, he replied that he still lived at home with her mother, and she gave him a quizzical look.
“Oh,” he said, a little dejected. ‘That’s weird?’
Although she was too polite to say it at the time, she tells me that yes, it seemed a little strange to her, and in those days, I suppose she was right. It was truly unusual that a 30-year-old man had not flown the family nest.
How things have changed.
Underlining this fact, an analysis this week of figures from the Office for National Statistics finds that in the mid-1990s, fewer than one in five of people aged 20 to 34 lived with their parents. In 2013, that figure rose to more than a quarter, while today, one in three men that age is still comfortable with mom and dad.
Today, one in three men between the ages of 20 and 34 still lives with their mother and father (file image)
That’s a whopping 2.2 million of those bastards.
As regular readers will know, I write with some feeling, as the youngest of our four children remains in apparently permanent residence, although he will reach the ripe old age of 31 next month. Oh well, at least there is some comfort, both for him and for us, in knowing that we are far from alone.
Interestingly, ONS figures show that the proportion of young women in the same position is significantly lower. Today it is less than one in four (although 22 percent or 1.4 million has also been rising steadily for years).
We can all guess why women seem to find it easier to move into shared flats or set up on their own. But the fundamental differences between the sexes, which in my experience go far beyond the merely physical and reach the psychological realm, are a column for another day.
My purpose today is to ask why young people of both sexes remain in their parents’ homes so much longer than we did in my time, and of course we do not have to look far for the answer.
The fact is that rents, mortgages and deposits (particularly in the South East, where demand is greatest, but also across the country) have become prohibitively expensive for large numbers of our children’s generation, and especially for those burdened with student debt.
When I first became a homeowner and bought a one-bedroom apartment shortly after we got married in 1980, the median property price in this country was about three times the median salary. Today that ratio is approximately eight to one.
It’s true that mortgage rates were much higher then than they are now. In fact, if I remember correctly, there was a brief period when we had to struggle with our combined salaries to pay something like 15 percent a year. We were practically desperate.
But although I am terrible at math, even I can see that 15 percent of a modest sum can be much cheaper than the 5 percent that many now have to pay for a huge amount more.
Today, even so-called “affordable housing” – defined by the Government as offering to rent or buy for at least 20 per cent below local market values - is far beyond the reach of large sections of people. like my son, who don’t have well-paying jobs or indulgent parents with money to spare for a deposit or rent help.
Very well, he could probably afford to rent a room somewhere really seedy, on his salary as a student teacher. But it is not surprising that he prefers to save to go to a better place.
If my children’s generation thinks they have problems today, they should wait and see what awaits them if the general election goes the same way as last week’s local elections, writes Tom
In her case, that is even though this means suffering the pain and indignity of living with her hapless retired parents, who continue to ask her monstrously irritating and intrusive questions, such as: ‘How was your day?’ or ‘Are you likely to be home for dinner?’
Of course, living at home has certain compensations for the boy. Call me an idiot and say I’m killing him with kindness, but I simply can’t collect rent from my beloved flesh and blood, while I still get paid so much more than him, even though I work. only one day a week.
He also enjoys not only his mother’s home-cooked food, but also the freedom of the refrigerator when he is hungry between meals. In fact, I sometimes wonder if she believes she miraculously replenishes herself after having vacuumed up its contents with her voracious appetite.
His washing and ironing is also done for him, perhaps those same fairies who keep the house and garden in good condition for the three of us who live there, although they look remarkably like his old parents to me.
Let’s face it, though, it’s not much fun for a self-respecting 30-year-old man, fast approaching 31, to share a house with retired parents who prefer period dramas to his beloved Match of the Day and They grant range over the remote control.
Meanwhile, he is extremely reluctant to bring his friends home, due to the risk of them running into his boring and embarrassing father.
But it’s also not the happiest arrangement for us, nor for the legions of other parents in our position. Lord knows we’ll probably miss him a lot when he’s gone, because he can be so much fun to have around. But for his sake, and ours, we hope that he has a fully independent life, among friends his age.
Indeed, commentators often talk about the acute housing shortage as a crisis that primarily affects young people (the age group, as cynical politicians will know, that is least likely to vote). In fact, the topic is of great importance for all parents and grandparents who worry about the happiness of their children and grandchildren.
However, even the most ambitious policies proposed by the main parties do not come close to the scale of action needed to reduce rents and house prices.
That would involve balancing housing supply and local demand, and I only see two ways to achieve this.
One is to make a bonfire with time-consuming restrictions on home construction, eliminate crippling taxes that penalize downsizing, and eliminate burdensome regulations (like the proposed ban on no-fault evictions) that drive many landlords out of the housing market. rent and discourage others from doing so. entering it.
The other is to reduce the enormous pressure of demand. Unless average life expectancy is reduced or unhappy couples are forced to stay together, this can only mean radically reducing the mass immigration that added almost 700,000 people to our population in the year ending last June alone.
As for why Tory defector Natalie Elphicke apparently believes Labor is the party most likely to bring the numbers down, I can only believe she is either incredibly stupid or completely crazy.
In fact, if my children’s generation thinks they have problems today, they should wait and see what awaits them if the general elections go the same way as last week’s local elections.
But, my God. I’m afraid I’m expressing exactly the kind of opinion that makes our youngest son so reluctant to bring his friends home.
Which reminds me. The colleague who all those years ago thought his dating situation was a little strange assures me that it wasn’t because she lived with his mother that her first outing with him turned out to be her last. But I can’t help but feel like he didn’t help!
