Those lazy, hazy, crazy days are here again

First published in The Sydney Morning Herald on December 1, 1987

The great Australian summer, which officially starts today, means ice-creams by the million, flies by the hectare and skin cancers by the gross.

“The summer sand dance: 14-year-old Jason Buckland, of Sylvania, demonstrates the basic steps after finding the sand a little too hot for comfort at Bondi Beach yesterday.”Credit:Kenneth Stevens

The fashion-conscious will parade the beaches in one million swimming costumes which will be bought from Australia’s largest manufacturer, Speedo, during the next three months.

Almost 4,000 of these beachgoers will be dragged spluttering from the Sydney surf by lifesavers.

Those who stay indoors will buy 3,000 air conditioners from Harvey Norman Discount stores. The owner, Mr Gerry Harvey, said the stores would not sell one bar heater until next winter.

Those who do stay inside will contribute to 55,000 successful conceptions this summer, a figure based on national birth figures. This year’s autumn togetherness will result in 43,000 babies born during summer.

Ice-cream makers Peter’s and Paul’s will sell 50 million Icy Poles, Crazy Critters, Drumsticks and Choc Wedges across the nation. Buyers will be buzzed by up to 20,000 bush flies per hectare which may invade Sydney this summer, according to the CSIRO.

Eastside Surf Centre at Coogee will sell 250 boards, 800 board shorts, 1,000 blocks of board wax and 100 pairs of sunglasses.

Train travellers will lose 20 beach towels, six dozen pairs of sunglasses, six pairs of swimming trunks, 20 sets of keys, one surfboard and one pair of false teeth, the SRA lost property office estimates.

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