A certified master matchmaker with 25 years of experience has shared five “surprising indicators” that could mean you or your partner are more likely to cheat.
Louanne Ward, founder and CEO of Louanne Ward Pairing in Perth, has outlined the crucial things to keep in mind that can help you predict future infidelity.
1. Parental infidelity
“If a parent cheated on you in the past, you’re more likely to cheat too,” Louanne said.
According to his experience, this “genetic fingerprint” can predispose you to infidelity.
And he is right, with a study A 2017 study found that you or your partner are 2.5 times more likely to cheat if the infidelity also occurred in your parents’ relationship.
“Witnessing infidelity as a child can normalize it,” Louanne explained.
Louanne Ward, founder and CEO of Louanne Ward Match Making in Perth’s Subiaco
2. High number of bodies
Couples with a “high body count” should also be careful.
Those who have experienced many partners and one-night stands are more likely to stray than others.
Data on female infidelity in marriages found that women who had more sexual partners before marriage were much more likely to cheat on their spouse.
It found that women who had two to four partners before marriage were about six times more likely to cheat, and women who had more than 20 partners were more than 16 times more likely to break their vows.
“A high body count often correlates with a thrill-seeking attitude toward sex, which can undermine long-term commitment,” Louanne said.
3. Past behavior
Most would agree with Louanne that past behavior is another thing to consider, and many believe in the old saying of “once a cheater always a cheater.”
“A history of infidelity is one of the best predictors of future infidelity,” warned the relationship expert.
Louanne explained that infidelity is not simply a “mistake,” “it is a choice, a conscious decision” and should be treated as such.
While he believes people can change, he believes it requires “serious self-reflection and commitment” on the part of the cheater.
So if you decide to trust a cheater again, she urges you to remember that “it’s a gamble and the odds are not in your favor.”
“Data on female infidelity in marriages found that women who had more sexual partners before marriage were much more likely to cheat on their spouse,” Louanne said.
4. Avoidant attachment style
If you or your partner have an “avoidant attachment style,” you may also find it harder to keep relationship commitments and seek “intimacy elsewhere,” Louanne explained.
People who are in a relationship with someone who displays this attachment style should pay attention because “if you notice a pattern of emotional withdrawal, it could be a warning sign.”
5. Emotional and behavioral instability
The last indicator to pay attention to is emotional and behavioral instability.
Those who are “prone to dramatic changes in mood and behavior” can damage the delicate “emotional bonds that help maintain fidelity.”
Louanne reiterated that these are only predictive indicators to take into account and do not guarantee the actual behavior itself: “it does not mean that they are going to cheat.”
What if you or your partner stray? Is trust something that can be rebuilt?
Louanne says the commitment to wanting the relationship “has to be there” on both sides.
“There also has to be a willingness to let it go,” he said.
If the injured party remains attached to the betrayal, it will be difficult for the relationship to continue growing.
Louanne insisted that the cheated on must also be able to recognize and take ownership of their own behavior that may have contributed to their partner “looking for something outside the relationship.”
Infidelity is not just physical, the matchmaker also identifies hidden conversations, secret meetings and getting “emotional support elsewhere” as signs of emotional cheating, which can often be as big a betrayal as physical infidelity.