Slumped on a lounge chair, I’m in a “drunken” stupor when a man sits down next to me and offers to keep me company.
It’s the early hours of the morning, not far from a variety of clubs and bars. Moments earlier, two men, noticing how drunk he seemed to be, approached him. As one of them sat on a nearby lounge chair, the other approached and asked, ‘Do you want to kiss us a little?’ Slurring, I mumbled a negative and he walked away.
So far, very gentlemanly. But things quickly took a sinister turn.
Instead of leaving, she walked straight to a third man standing nearby and said, “She’s completely drunk.” Let’s go for it!’
Now that same man is at my side, having been told that I am too drunk to resist whatever he and his companions may have in mind. And that terrifying realization has chilled my blood.
I’m not sure how many men surround me; It could be two, three or even more. Really scared, I get up and signal to my security team, sitting two sun loungers away, to get me out of there.
You see, I’m not actually drunk or helpless; I’m filming undercover for my latest Channel 4 documentary, investigating the risks posed to young women who come to party centers like this.
From left to right: Denzel Washington, Paul Mescal, Saoirse Ronan and Eddie Redmayne during filming
Anyway, I leave the beach shaking and shaken, well aware that if I had truly been out and alone, without my security and my television equipment, anything could have happened.
During my three days of filming in Mallorca’s Magaluf, a popular party spot frequented by thousands of young Brits each year, I had been repeatedly propositioned by men while I looked out of place. Not to mention groping and leering in the various clubs and bars. But this particular incident stands out as the most threatening.
Considering that 48 rapes were reported to the police in the Magaluf area last year (three of which were alleged gang rapes), it is not surprising that she felt afraid.
As an investigative journalist, this is not the first time I have gone undercover posing as a drunk; I have also filmed documentaries in the UK. Some people have suggested that I am tricking men into behaving badly. But I don’t do anything to try to attract someone; I don’t start a conversation or make eye contact with anyone who does. My goal is to present myself to those around me as a vulnerable and alone woman. The way these men decide to behave towards me is of their own free will.
Others may say, “Not all men are like that.” I totally agree. I have a father, a fiancé, male colleagues and friends, all good men. I am also the mother of a little boy who I am sure will be a little boy when he grows up too.
But while I would never suggest that every man is a predator, even good men seem unable to fully understand what it means for us women.
This was perfectly illustrated by a clip from last Friday’s Graham Norton Show, which went viral. Actor Eddie Redmayne explained that while training for The Day of the Jackal, he was taught to use a phone to retaliate in the event of an attack.
Ellie Flynn is filming undercover for a Channel 4 documentary, which investigates the risks posed to young women going to party resorts.
Paul Mescal then joked: ‘Who’s really going to think about that? If someone really attacked me, I’m not going to “phone it in.” Graham mimed holding a phone to defend himself against an attacker and said, “Can you wait a second?” to which Eddie replied, “That’s a very good point.”
But actress and fellow guest Saoirse Ronan silenced them all with one indisputable line: “That’s what girls have to think about all the time.”
As I watched, I was struck by the fact that even kind, polite men (men you’d expect to understand and empathize with the female experience) still don’t get it.
Saoirse reunion follow-up: ‘Am I right, ladies?’ It provoked thunderous applause from the women in the audience, and no doubt many applauded at home too. Women who collectively know what it feels like you’re going into battle every time you walk home with your keys sticking out between your knuckles, in case you get attacked.
Saoirse has since responded to the “wild” reaction to the clip, saying she wasn’t looking to “cause a sensation,” but hopes that “opening up a conversation” will allow “more and more women to just say, ‘Well, yeah, actually, let’s talk.'” of our experience.’
She also touched on what she calls the “fake phone call” and how this has become an unspoken “survival tactic” among women seeking to discourage men from approaching them: “We’ve all unconsciously found the same tools and we use the same tools. them over and over again and I find it really interesting.’
The statistics on sexual harassment and assault are certainly appalling. Among women of all ages, 71 percent have experienced some type of sexual harassment. One in four of us have been raped or sexually assaulted.
I am one of those statistics. At 18, I was in a local kebab shop after a night out and turned down a man who was trying it out on me. Ten years later, I can still vividly remember exactly how I felt when he reached up my skirt.
That experience doesn’t stay somewhere inside my head; Unfortunately, my body remembers her too.
In the years since then, I’ve been grabbed and groped countless times, though nothing as bad as that horrible teenage experience. I think you would be hard-pressed to find a woman who doesn’t have a story of sexual harassment or assault to share in some way.
That’s why I secretly film how men react when a potentially vulnerable woman enters their orbit. I don’t just want women to feel heard; I also want to try to help men understand.
After training as a journalist, I wrote my first article about how my photographs and those of my friends had been used on social media accounts to mislead people. This led to the BBC commissioning a series called Ellie Undercover.
Since then I have made 18 documentaries on Channel 4 and other broadcasters, most of which focus on issues affecting young women, inspired in part by my own negative experiences.
I often receive messages from women who share their own, often harrowing, experiences of sexual harassment and assault and thank me for highlighting the dangers we face. But it’s the messages of support from male viewers that give me hope that my work can make a difference.
One of my latest documentaries saw me expose the sexual harassment women sometimes face in the UK, including how I was followed to my hotel room by a man who thought I was drunk and received countless unsolicited photographs of other people’s male genitalia who aggressively pursued me through dating apps.
After the show aired, I received countless messages from men saying, in a bewildered tone, “I had no idea.”
While I’m glad these men felt committed enough to want to reach out, I also think, ‘How can you say you don’t know when women have been telling you all this for years?’
It’s a shame that I have to keep putting myself in these situations to make this explicit, but it’s become a way to shock men and say, ‘This is the reality we face.’
My work has led me to the conclusion that, rather than placing men in one of two camps (good or bad), their behavior actually falls on a spectrum.
There are those who exhibit predatory behavior with completely nefarious intentions, and others who don’t even realize they are being predatory when they try it on a woman who is too drunk to give consent. A survey we commissioned as part of Magaluf Undercover explored party experiences and found that almost a third of the men we spoke to had kissed someone without their consent during a night out.
But there are also the good ones, those who wouldn’t even think of doing something similar. That being said, some of these nice guys see their peers behaving badly towards women and don’t criticize them for it. Or make jokes about how to defend yourself from an attacker, without thinking about what the reality is for the women in the room.
As Saoirse says, it’s good to reopen the conversation. But we must make sure that this time the men really listen. Only then will things really change for women.
- Magaluf Undercover: Predators And Parties is available to stream on Channel 4 and on Channel 4’s Untold Youtube channel.