Trinny Woodall recently revealed that she has no qualms about cutting people out of her life if they get her down, saying: “I’m ruthless when it comes to letting people go from my life.” If people drain my energy, they have to leave, friends should give each other energy.’
These people are often called “energy vampires,” and they prey on others with behaviors that leave the target tired and exhausted.
Alla Svirinskaya, energy healer to the stars and author of the bestselling book Energy Rules, says: ‘Feeding off other people’s energy is something we are all capable of doing. It rarely occurs due to premeditated malice but rather low self-esteem, inner emptiness and lack of awareness.’
Could you be an energy vampire? Here Claudia Connell analyzes the traits of the worst offenders, while Alla reveals the effect behavior has on the victim…
Trinny Woodall recently revealed that she has no qualms about cutting people out of her life if they bring her down.
the charlatan
The conversation should be two-way, but you continue to ramble in your unfiltered flow, never stopping to breathe and failing to pick up on the signs that someone is bored.
Alla says: ‘The other person is overwhelmed by the feeling of being trapped. They don’t know how to finish the charlatan’s monologue and feel exhausted by the vampire’s constant demand that they concentrate. You must learn to talk to people, not at them.
the manipulator
Always in touch when you want help or need advice before disappearing for weeks when a person is no longer useful to you. Maybe you’ve committed the ultimate bad energy manipulative move: being a “friend stealer,” clinging to your victim’s friends and then excluding them from the equation.
Alla says: ‘As soon as someone realizes that they are being used for their connections and contacts and that their generosity has been abused, it can result in a lasting lack of trust in new people.
“Healthy friendships should benefit both parties.”
The negative nelly
We all like a moan but it seems like you’re just complaining. Not only is your glass always half empty, but there’s probably a fly or hair in it most of the time.
Being a “misery sponge” for a relentlessly gloomy friend can result in feeling exhausted and deflated.
Alla says: ‘Behaving this way can make the other person doubt themselves and their own positive attitude. They have to “reduce” their light to accommodate their shadow. You need to take things less personally, accept that people make mistakes, and stop twisting narratives to support your idea that everything is negative and hopeless. It’s not!’
tthe gossip
Who doesn’t love some juicy gossip every now and then? But when you live for it, others can feel anxious.
Do you start every conversation with: ‘Did you hear the rumor…?’ Maybe you pass on information that you know isn’t true but don’t care because it makes a good story. The problem is that at some point your friends will wonder what you might be saying about them.
Alla says: ‘People often do this to boost their low self-esteem. They elevate themselves by tearing others down. Over time, your friends will stop trusting you and your friendships will become superficial and lacking any intimate connection.’
the show boat
You need to be center stage at all times, even if it’s someone else’s time to shine. A birthday celebration, a job promotion or an anniversary: you will find a way to steal the attention and focus it all on yourself.
Alla says: ‘Even if a friend starts a conversation about their success or glory, this person will find a way to express how amazing they are. Your friends begin to feel like mere mirrors that you use to admire your own reflection. You make people feel alone in your presence due to your self-absorption and lack of empathy.
The eternal victim and martyr
Nothing that goes wrong in your life depends on you or the consequence of your actions. You might even possess the dual-energy vampiric tendency to play the martyr.
You help others and make sacrifices, but you become resentful and let others know how hard you feel.
Alla says: “These people often ask their friends for advice and then lose interest if the friend doesn’t support their victim narrative. People feel exhausted when you turn them into a dumpster to dump your toxic fumes into, while you martyr them. they suffocate others with their projected guilt.’