The secret relationships in women’s football: How romances between stars are everywhere – and one top team has FIVE couples in the same dressing room

It was only six years ago when women’s football became professional and there were no strict rules regarding relationships.

For teammates, coaches, managers, staff.

An eyebrow may have been raised, but with so little scrutiny on the sport, there was no outrage. Do what you want. Nothing to see here.

Yesterday Manchester United called a meeting of its players and staff to remind them of their ‘relations policy’. Separately, an email was sent to both players and agents with a written communication as well. This week has been a wake-up call for women’s football. Now there is scrutiny.

Polly Bancroft, responsible for the strategic direction of the United women’s team, was proactive after a week in which relationships in the dressing room, between players, coaches and players together, many of them clandestine, have become the talk of the city.

WSL clubs are eager to protect themselves (and their assets) when the dam breaks. There’s more than team harmony at stake; Safeguarding concerns are central to many locker room debates.

In February, Jonathan Morgan was sacked by Sheffield United after the club learned he had a relationship with a teenage player while he was manager of Leicester. The relationship occurred before Leicester were a professional club but that did not matter.

Morgan stated that these types of relationships were rife in women’s football and that is not inaccurate. Last week, Leicester suspended Willie Kirk for an alleged relationship with a player.

“I think player-coach relationships are inappropriate, player-to-player relationships are inappropriate,” Chelsea coach Emma Hayes said this week.

“We have to look at it in the context of where the game is coming from and say, look, we are now in a professional era where the expectations for players and coaches are such that all our focus and attention has gone away.” focus on having the highest standards.

“That’s why I’ve always been an advocate of ensuring clubs have minimum standards, whether it’s code of conduct, player protection, player welfare. I don’t think it’s just about player-coach relationships.”

Hayes was asked to explain why relationships between players are inappropriate. Two of his players, English left back Jess Carter and goalkeeper Ann-Katrin Berger, are in a relationship. Hayes also signed Pernille Harder for a world record fee in 2020, despite the Dane having a highly publicized relationship with Chelsea captain Magdalena Eriksson. Both players left for Bayern Munich last summer.

‘It’s about the challenges it poses. One player is on the team and the other is not. One might be in the last year of his contract, another might not be. One could be competing in a position with another person. You don’t need me to explain that to you. It presents challenges.”

Hayes seemed to be making the point that relationships in general could or should be phased out as professionalization and finances in the women’s game continue to grow.

Mail Sport also knows of an elite international team that recently had up to five pairs in the same dressing room. How difficult would it be for a coach to achieve that?

They have also told us the example of a board of directors who recently left a club because a relationship with one of their players had come to light. That was not the reason the club had for his departure. This coach continues to work in women’s football.

There are people who work in women’s football who are horrified by this and think that female coaches have a worse relationship with players than male coaches. “This is a professional environment, not a social club,” as one source put it.

In the last two months, one coach has been fired for a previous relationship with a player and another suspended pending an investigation.

The issue can no longer hide in the shadows. When I wrote about the issue of player-coach relationships in my women’s football column earlier this week, I did not expect such a reaction.

Managers have been asked and have spoken about a topic that has often been left off the agenda. Casey Stoney and Aston Villa manager Carla Ward are among two managers who have commented publicly.

Stoney, former England captain and coach of the American club San Diego Wave, made her opinion very clear: “Relationships between player and coach should NEVER happen.” THE END.’

This is not a new problem. Mark Sampson was sacked as England manager in 2017 after it emerged he had had a relationship with a player he had coached at the Bristol Academy. Following Sampson’s dismissal, Baroness Sue Campbell, the FA’s director of women’s football, said player-coach relations were a “concern”, an issue that “had to be addressed”. But it wasn’t really addressed at all. The relationships persisted behind closed doors and it is only because women’s football is now under a greater microscope that action is being taken.

The reality that many do not want to acknowledge is that it is easier for clubs to act against male coaches.

But women’s football should not only concern male managers. Mail Sport has been told about several relationships, past and present, between coaches and players.

Some took place before women’s football became professional, while others are more recent. Some are not reportable for legal reasons. This is usually because the players or coaches involved have not publicly revealed their sexuality.

Basically, it’s easier for female trainers to hide in plain sight. Some clubs will have to make decisions about whether there will be consequences for female coaches who have had relationships with players in the future.

In my column I wrote that there seems to be a greater acceptance of relationships between coaches and players. This is because they are even more common than heterosexual relationships. But acceptance might be the wrong word. It’s not so much that people are happy to turn a blind eye, but rather that it’s harder to deal with publicly.

In this case, it is much easier for female managers to get jobs elsewhere than for men whose relationships have been exposed.

There are also more complicated examples. Last month, Wales hired Rhian Wilkinson as their coach. Wilkinson, 41, was investigated amid concerns about her conduct as coach of US club Portland Thorns.

Wilkinson said he exchanged messages with one of his players, who had previously been a teammate, and that the two had expressed feelings for each other but had not acted on them.

Wilkinson said she reported herself to the club, which passed the information to the National Women’s Soccer League.

The investigation exonerated Wilkinson of any wrongdoing, but she decided to resign, feeling she had lost the support of the players. Some are said to have felt “uneasy and insecure.”

WSL officials gave their opinion on the relationships between players and coaches this week. Some were much stronger on the issue than others.

West Ham did not allow any questions on the topic, while Brighton allowed one, before closing the discussion after boss Mikey Harris said: “It’s really difficult to answer because I think there’s so much context around the topic that I’m not sure.” “. “I’m in the know, so I don’t feel comfortable giving an answer about something I don’t have enough context for.”

Others felt more than comfortable broaching the topic.

‘Our job and our duty is to protect the players, first and foremost. So crossing that line is unacceptable and cannot happen,” Villa boss Ward said.

Spurs boss Robert Vilahamn agreed, saying: “I think it’s totally unacceptable.” I, as a coach, am in a position of power with the players and staff. I think it is very unprofessional to have a relationship with a player. I don’t think that should be a question we ask here, I think it’s crazy.’

Hayes raised an important but slightly controversial debate. While player-coach relationships have been common in women’s soccer, so are relationships between players from the same or different teams.

Hayes seemed to upset his own players with his comments. Carter liked a series of posts about X, criticizing his manager, including one that described his comments as “beyond crazy.”

The relationships between players distract from the real issue at play here. They may be challenging, but they don’t create the same power imbalance that exists between a coach and a player.

Kirk’s suspension last week sent shockwaves through women’s football. No doubt other managers will be looking over their shoulders, wondering if they will be next to face the questions. This is an issue that is not going away. The lid that had been kept on this can of worms is off and will not be put back on.