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Putting yourself out there always has a cost: you have to be vulnerable, open up and run the risk of being rejected. Nowadays, it can also come with a high price.
It’s not just the cost of drinks or dinner that needs to be considered. Before you’ve even gotten to the awkward old dance of who’s going to foot the bill, you may have already shelled out hundreds of pounds on a dating site for the chance to date.
How much do the applications cost?
While some dating services are free, many now include enticing additional features that they claim will help you find more compatible connections, get noticed sooner, and get on more dates. All for a small price, of course. We analyze what the main ones offer.
Tinder
It’s free, but you can upgrade to the paid version “for an enhanced Tinder experience,” its website says.
Tinder’s media team didn’t want to share exact figures, but told us prices start at £7 and go up to around £50 a month.
There are three subscription levels offered at different prices: plus, gold or platinum. In 2021, the plus option ranged from £4.99 to £19.94 a month, with gold found to cost between £13.99 and £29.49 and platinum between £18.14 and £36.49.
Please note that different users have been charged different prices depending on factors including your agean investigation by consumer group Which? found.
Hinge
With the free, regular version of the app, you can send eight likes a day and message someone you’ve matched with. It claims you’ll have at least twice as many dates with its two paid subscriptions.
Hinge+ costs £14.99 for one week, £24.99 for one month, £49.99 for three months and £74.99 for six months.
One week of HingeX costs £24.99, one month costs £44.99, three months costs £89.99 and six months costs £129.99.
muzzle
There are over 1.5 million monthly active users on Muzz, the marriage and dating app aimed at Muslim singles. Around 90% do not pay. Some opt for the Gold membership to try to increase their chances of finding someone they are compatible with. It costs £29 a month, or £69 for three months.
On average, it takes people six months to find a partner and leave the site. With Gold membership, the average is about three months. That costs £69 if you buy the three-month package, or £87 if you stick to the monthly plan.
harmony
The basic membership is free and gives you unlimited matches, but your messaging is limited.
Eharmony didn’t say how much the premium membership options cost, so we set up an account to get an idea. The premium light subscription is a six-month plan costing £25.99 monthly. Premium plus is a 12-month plan and offers the same features, but costs £13.90 per month. Premium extra is a 24 month plan and costs £9.90 a month. Our profile was offered a 50% discount on all the above options for the first three months.
party.com
It’s free to join and you can create a profile and access a selection of profiles without a paid subscription. However, you can only send and receive messages if you are subscribed.
Match did not give The Guardian a breakdown of membership costs, but according to its website, it starts at £9.99 a month and memberships are available in three, six and 12 month options. In an online chat room, one member said a six-month membership cost him around £10 a month (£59.99), while £30 for a month.
Jdate
This online dating service is aimed at Jewish singles. For one month it costs £39.99, three months costs £89.97 (£29.99 a month) and six months costs £119.94 (£19.99 a month).
According to James Jones, director of consumer affairs at credit reference company Experian, it is important to have a clear view of what is affordable when it comes to dating apps.
“If you know that a free app or a basic version of a popular app is sufficient for your needs, don’t feel pressured to pay for a premium service that you may not need,” he says.
The key is to be “disciplined and patient,” Jones says. “You may not find the love of your life right away, but that doesn’t mean you have to join every app and pay a fortune to make your profile available.”
The cost of the date.
Last month, a survey for NatWest found that for 43% of people in the UK, spending between £50 and £100 on a date was the norm. While Aqua, a specialist credit card provider, found that people spent an average of £38 on a first date.
Matt, 31, from Bolton, tends to meet people on Hinge, using the free version of the app.
On the dates he has been on, he has spent between £6 and £100, some of it on traveling to meet someone. She went “for a walk in a park and a bite to eat” on a recent date, which she says cost her around £25.
“The furthest I traveled (for a date) was to Leeds. From Manchester it’s about £30 to get back on the train, plus going out for a bite to eat, maybe another £20 and then out for a few drinks, that’s probably close to £100 for that particular day,” he says.
Who pays?
Matt generally pays his own expenses, as do the people he dates. “If we went out for a bite to eat, when it came time to pay the bill, most women I’ve been on dates with said, ‘Oh no, let’s split it,’ and they’ve been pretty clear that they were more comfortable sharing the costs.
“If we were going out for a drink, I would usually offer to buy him a round. “I’m pretty happy with that.”
Aanusha, a 33-year-old woman who lives in the south-east of England, says she “uses the free versions of all the apps”, spends between £20 and £40 on a date and always speaks Dutch.
But Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert, says the person extending the invitation should offer to pay the bill. “Gender or sexual orientation doesn’t matter, what matters is the invitation,” he says.
“If a friend suggests you meet for lunch, that means each person pays their own cost, but if you invite someone (you’re dating) to a formal occasion, a concert or any type of event, then you would cover the cost of the tickets, the food and the (service charge).”
If some place may be out of your price range, don’t suggest it, Gottsman advises. “It is not necessary to go out to eat. You can say, ‘Let’s go for a hike,’ or ‘let’s go to the park and have a picnic,'” he says.
One of the most important components of finding a partner is financial compatibility and open communication. “It’s not about how much someone makes. It should be understood that if the person you are with cannot or is not interested in spending the same way as you, in the long term, there will probably be a conflict,” adds Gottsman.
Jones says, “Most people know that money in a relationship is something that many couples stumble over. So you really want to start in a good place, be open and honest about the kind of aspirations that exist within your financial position.”
This doesn’t mean showing off your bank balance, salary, and credit score on a first date. But be clear if they are suggesting something you can’t afford or don’t want to spend your money on.
A good way to keep costs down is to incorporate dating into things you already enjoy, Jones says. “There are many ways to meet people through free or inexpensive clubs and events, so maybe don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” she adds.