The non-Godzilla kaiju that could absolutely kick Godzilla’s scaly tail

It’s easy to be the “King of the Monsters” when you’re the star of your franchise with top billing.

Even Kevin James could knock out King Ghidorah if the fight took place in Queens. That’s really the main reason why Godzilla remains undefeated. Sure, some enemies can knock him out momentarily, but in the end he always gets up and goes”ROAR‘, and eventually wins.

But what if Godzilla went up against kaiju enemies from other franchises where he not the main character? The answer: the black market would be flooded with Godzilla steaks the next day, especially if Big G goes up against the next monsters.

Belyudra (Mega Monster Battle: Ultra Galaxy Legend)

Image: Warner Bros. Entertainment Japan

Godzilla’s size has varied greatly over the years, ranging from about 50 meters (164 feet) in the original 1954 movie to over 300 meters (nearly 1,000 feet) in the 2017 Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters animation film. But you could take the biggest Godzilla ever on screen and double his size and he would still be broken in half like a Gojira Slim Jim (Slim Gojim?) by Belyudra.

Debuts indoors Mega Monster Battle: Ultra Galaxy Legend (2009), Belyudra is part of the Ultraman franchise starring giant bio-metal energy warriors from another planet who have battled thousands of kaiju since the series debuted in 1966. And Belyudra is possibly the most powerful Ultraman foe of them all, because it literally is thousands from Kaiju. In the film, the monster is created when the evil Ultraman Belial resurrects all of the defeated Ultraman enemies in the Monster Graveyard, merging them Voltron-as-designed-by-Satan into an amalgamation of horror that is technically part zombie. is, part Frankenstein’s monster, and part Mount Doom.

Not only was Belyudra born from lava, it is about the size of a mountain, with official sources citing its height as 4,000 feet (about 2.5 meters). miles). If Godzilla ever stood in front of Belyudra, the Cenobite puzzle monster would think a kaiju forming one of his eyelashes or whatever fell out, then blast him into the sun.

Actually, that’s not quite right, because Belyudra doesn’t “think.” It’s more like a massive bio-exoskeleton piloted by Belial, a genius alien psychopath named after a biblical demon. In Mega Monster Battle, it takes the combined powers of six Ultramen, one kaiju, and a battleship to defeat Belyudra. However, in a one-on-one battle between it and Godzilla, the King of the Monsters would flatten the Monster Mash (after Belyudra mashed it into kaiju paste by stepping on it) in two seconds.

Orochi (One Punch Man)

Image: One, Yusuke Murata/Viz Media

Saitama, the protagonist of One-Punch Man, is like someone trying to pull Lex Luthor from his memory on a napkin at 3am and then giving him the power to kill something with one blow. But even with such an ironic premise, the NOTE manga and anime have become world hits because a lot of creativity and all kinds of wild ideas have been put into the story. And probably 90% of them can be found in the kaiju monster Orochi from the series.

While originally standing at an unimpressive 27 meters tall (about 89 feet), the “Monster King” Orochi would still make short work of Godzilla due to his power of… everything. Imagine kids playing with action figures and making up their skills along the way, like, “No, your lasers don’t do any damage because my husband used an energy barrier.” “Well, my man turns into a acid drill and melts your man.” “Nuh-uh, because my husband is actually an acid-resistant fire dragon made of diamonds.” “Well, mine is turning into a nuclear fighter jet!” “Well, mine cooperates with God!” That’s all Orochi.

The monster’s powers include manipulating its body form at will, spewing fire and regeneration, and whatever was there before merging with a mighty esper and God (long story, no questions asked). After the fusion, Orochi could use psychokinesis, manipulate gravity, control electricity, fly, YES TRANSFORM INTO A JET like a bio Decepticon, and absorb energy from the entire planet (causing a global earthquake) to launch a devastating energy attack . More importantly, during all this, Orochi remained fully conscious and even gained genius-level intellect.

And yes, none of that was enough to save Orochi from being destroyed by Saitama. But if you pitted Orochi against Godzilla, the atomic lizard would be Gone-zilla with one punch, man.

Mother Legion (Gamera 2: Attack of Legion)

Image: Toho

Gamera is a prehistoric turtle monster who was mutated by radiation from atomic bombs and can now breathe fire And soar through the air by spinning at hypersonic speeds like a giant shuriken in turtle shell, turning him into the original Mutant Ninja Turtle. Still, even with all his powers, Gamera would have been made turtle soup by Mother Legion from the 1996 movie Gamera 2: Attack of Legion without human intervention.

The alien Mother Legion looks like a spider, a scorpion and one of the bugs Starship Troopers had hate sex and sparked a brand new phobia. Named after the biblical Legion demon, the kaiju from outer space nearly took out Gamera early in the film by having his Volkswagen Beetle-sized bug kids climb over the turtle and cover it like a suit made of scratchy Christmas sweater yarn. The only reason Gamera survived that was to fly away, a power Godzilla doesn’t have…with the exception of 1971’s Godzilla vs. Hedorah, where he could “fly” through atomic bombs on the ground. We tend not to talk much about that movie.

In the end, Mother Legion was able to spawn flying bug soldiers from her body, in addition to burrowing underground, creating electro barriers, and shooting lasers. She basically won the battle against Gamera just by showing up. But then the humans got involved and confused the flying insect swarm with radio signals. But since Godzilla has the natural flying ability of a rock chained to a post, it’s fair to say that in a match between just now him and Mother Legion (no humans involved), Godzilla would immediately end up with more bugs than Cyberpunk 2077 and pops his hollowed-out corpse to perform silly dances for ML’s amusement.

Frankenstein (Frankenstein vs Baragon)

Image: American International Pictures

Knowledge is knowing that “Frankenstein” was the doctor’s name, not the monster’s. Wisdom is knowing that since the creature is Dr. Frankenstein, he would of course inherit his “father’s” surname. Japanese sci-fi trivia knows that in the 1965 movie frankenstein vs baragon, Mary Shelley’s classic character was turned into a kaiju with monsters in his blood.

Frankenstein vs. Baragonreleased in the United States as Frankenstein conquers the world, begins with the beating heart of the original Frankenstein monster being delivered to Japan, where scientists determine that the creature simply cannot die. As long as only one cell remains, it will eventually come back to life if given enough protein or radiation. That’s when an atomic bomb is dropped on Hiroshima’s research lab, wiping it out and the city, but transforming the heart into a whole person. It takes 15 years for the reborn Frankenstein to mature, but once he’s discovered his X-gene or whatever kicks in and he starts growing and growing until he’s 20 feet tall. That’s not even half the size of the smallest Godzilla, but in a fight between the two Frank might still have the upper hand.

As the movie explains over and over again, this Frankenstein literally can’t die. If you cut off his arm, he will just grow back, while the severed body part will eventually regenerate into a whole new monster if given a power source such as radiation. And lest we forget, Godzilla is a walking symbol of radiation with a signature atomic breath attack. In 2019 Godzilla: King of the Monsters, detonating a warhead right next to his face was like getting a triple shot of espresso in his system. Being in the same irradiated zip code as Godzilla would probably allow Frank to grow twice his size. Or in number.

We know from the 1966 follow-up, The War of the Gargantuas, that DNA left behind by the Japanese Frankenstein eventually, over many years, matures into Bigfoot-like kaiju. But if that DNA was bathed in Godzilla halitosis, the maturation process could happen immediately. With every drop of Frank’s spilled blood, Godzilla could create an entirely new foe to fight. Sure, they’d all be much smaller than the King of the Monsters, but given enough time, G-dog would fend off a whole swarm of enemies, and we’ve already covered that scenario with Mother Legion. The winner: Frankenstein, via Technical Patience and Bigfoot kaiju blood.