A millionaire Park Slope mother in an open marriage has laid bare her emotional turmoil: from raging jealousy while her husband cavorted with his ex to enduring bad sex in seedy pay-by-the-hour motels.
Molly Roden Winter, 51, opened her marriage to her husband of ten years Stewart, with whom she had two children, in 2008.
Now, the English teacher turned best-selling author has chronicled the ups and downs of her polyamorous marriage in agonizing detail in a new bestseller ‘More: A Memoir of Open Marriage.’
But rather than a carefree journey of sexual discovery, some reviews have called the memoir “sad,” and Roden Winter spent much of the book crying as she struggled to cope with the idea of her husband sleeping with other women.
Molly Roden Winter has chronicled the ups and downs of her polyamorous marriage in a new memoir.
The English teacher opened her marriage to her husband Stewart, to whom she was married for almost a decade.
Roden Winter, who lives in Brooklyn with her family, recalls how she was the first to have an affair within marriage after meeting a younger man when she felt overwhelmed raising two young children.
In her thirties, she describes herself as “the one who wipes noses, the one who does the dishes, the one who bothers the residence.”
After a tiring day babysitting at home and frustrated that her husband was working late, Roden Winter went for a walk and ended up having drinks with a friend.
At a bar she meets a younger man and strikes up a flirtatious conversation.
When she tells her husband Stewart, 56, about the interaction, that same night he does not get angry, but instead encourages her to sleep with her new acquaintance.
However, although he initially enjoys the thrill of having a new lover, when his husband asks if he can now sleep with his ex-girlfriend Lena, Roden Winter becomes tormented.
“Thinking about them together makes me feel like I’ve fallen to the bottom of a well,” he writes.
“I’m not sure,” I say, still not looking at him. I’m afraid I’ll start crying if I do.
She reluctantly agrees but asks, “Don’t you know I’m lying?” It is not like this?
‘Roden Winter sobs in hotel rooms on work trips, sobs in hotel rooms on sex trips, sobs in his own home in Park Slope,’ a review from the memoir’s liner notes
The couple’s $4.3 million Park Slope brownstone in Brooklyn, New York
The English teacher turned best-selling author has chronicled the ups and downs of her polyamorous marriage in a new memoir: ‘More’
One of the author’s lovers ‘forgets’ to use a condom, while another insists on staying at a pay-by-the-hour motel
Stewart soon begins seeing a series of other women, leaving Roden Winter consumed by jealousy and occasionally asking for closure on the marriage again.
“Molly might have been more insightful than I was at the time,” Stewart told the New York Times, describing her early polyamorous dating experience as being “at a salad bar.”
Meanwhile, her own sexual exploits often leave her feeling used and unhappy as she browses various online dating websites in search of new partners.
One of the author’s lovers “forgets” to use a condom, while another insists on meeting at a pay-by-the-hour motel.
Other interactions are more meaningful, but then end badly: one “ghosts” her and another abandons her when he discovers she has her husband’s permission to see other men.
“Bad sex taught me a lot more about what makes good sex,” she told the Times.
“I also wanted to tell the truth about how difficult it was.”
The mother of two finally begins therapy and diagnoses herself as a “people pleaser” with low self-esteem.
“It’s like I’m just reacting to what men want,” she tells the therapist.
The memoir ends in 2018, when Roden Winter’s boyfriend, whose wife had recently divorced, broke up with her after she refused to end her own marriage.
“From my point of view, it seems like Stewart is just having fun while walking the path of open marriage,” he explains.
‘We are here because I no longer want to be in an open marriage. But Stewart does,” Roden Winter later tells his couples therapist.
At one point he confronts Stewart: ‘If you want to protect me,’ he shouts, ‘don’t keep making me do this!
‘Stop hanging out with Kiwi and whoever and stay with me! You do not get it? I can not do this anymore!’
After convincing her to continue with polyamory, Roden Winter has two threesomes, with two different boyfriends, but confesses to not enjoying either of them.
The memoir ends in 2018, when Roden Winter’s boyfriend, whose wife had recently divorced, broke up with her after she refused to end her own marriage.
Winter was heartbroken and described crying in Stewart’s arms.
Roden Winter finally starts seeing a therapist and discovers that he has low self-esteem.
Stewart Winter enjoyed having sex with his ex-girlfriend during their open marriage
A review of the memoir notes.: ‘Roden Winter sobs in hotel rooms on work trips, sobs in hotel rooms on sex trips, sobs in his own home in Park Slope.’
He concludes: “For every orgasm scene, there are three crying fits.”
Other reviews have been more generous, with the New York Times describing the book as “stunningly candid” while “abandoning internalized sexism and her tendency to put the needs of others before her own.”
Roden Winter herself maintains that being polyamorous has allowed her to feel seen as more than just a wife and mother.
‘We hope mothers are selfless. And “selfless” is often thought of as the opposite of selfish, but I want to create a new word: “self-complete,” he told the Times of London.
‘You should have a full self, you shouldn’t have to give up yourself to be a mother. I don’t think that’s useful for children either.’
She added that their marriage was “strong” and said that “we’re having the best sex we’ve had in 24 years of marriage, so that’s encouraging.”
Jessica Fearn, a psychotherapist for people in open relationships, noted that books written by mothers in open marriages are still very rare, perhaps because they are so busy.
Speaking to the New York Times, she said: “Her story, which is about what it means for a mother to be erotically charged, I haven’t seen that story enough yet.”
Roden Winter has also been talking about his experience in an open marriage on the social media platform TikTok.
In a candid video, she talks about how she deals with jealousy towards her husband’s girlfriends and partners.
“There were many years when I didn’t carry it very gracefully,” he admits.
“It was very, very difficult, but now it’s much easier for me.”
‘There is a type of jealousy and possessiveness within romantic relationships that we assume to be natural and correct.
‘But we don’t extend that to friendships that aren’t romantic.
“I would never say to one of my friends, ‘It’s very important to me that you’re just my friend.'”
“It’s not exactly the same, but that’s how I feel now.”
Roden Winter remains polyamorous with a long-term restaurateur boyfriend, who has a wife who also has a girlfriend. the Times reported.
Her husband Stewart has a girlfriend of eight years.
