Meeting the “older self” is a disconcerting experience. Until it happened to me, I hadn’t given it much thought. But here I am, writing a letter to myself (in a few decades).
I know this sounds strange, but hear me out. When I say I “stumbled” into my former self, I mean it literally. What happened was that I fractured my shoulder after tripping over a tree root while out for a run.
I thought it was a sports injury, but it was actually osteoporosis. In addition to my shoulder, I had also broken two vertebrae in my spine.
It sped up the aging process and made me feel like I had turned into my much older self more than a decade earlier.
The group’s business editor, Ruth Sunderland, was diagnosed with osteoporosis earlier this year.
Suddenly the doctors bowed their heads and adopted that monotone they use with small children, the intellectually disabled, and twisted old people.
One of them had the temerity to ask me what percentage of damage to my shoulder I was willing to accept. He seemed shocked when I told him my goal was 100 percent recovery.
It seemed that as a woman over 50, my aspirations were supposed to be automatically limited. Anger drove me to prove him wrong. I worked very hard in physiotherapy and the doctors were forced to admit that I had exceeded their expectations (though not mine, I hasten to add).
But it was an illuminating insight into what older women’s health looks like, something that will no doubt be familiar to many of you reading this. If this was how I was treated now, I wondered, what would happen in ten or twenty years?
So here I am, writing a letter to my future self: Ruth at 70 and beyond. This letter is my commitment, a contract of sorts – as a business journalist, I’m quite familiar with this sort of thing. It’s a promise to do everything in my power to make sure I stay as healthy as possible in old age.
When I was younger, I made the decision to invest in myself financially, through pensions and other investments. I see it as the same thing, only this time I am investing in my health and wellbeing.
With her husband Michael, who is in remission from cancer.
I’ll keep the contract somewhere safe, but I’ll know it’s there, silently reminding me of my promises. And hopefully, one day I’ll pull it out, read it again, and thank myself.
In recent months, a number of studies have shown that lifestyle changes can have a profound effect on preventing some of the most feared diseases, such as dementia and cancer. There are also many things I can do to protect my bones. I want my older self to know that I will never accept being given a second choice or having low expectations for her. And I am laying the groundwork now.
Like many women with careers and family commitments, I did not consider my own health a priority before my diagnosis. Particularly because my husband is in remission from cancer and his well-being was and remains my primary concern.
I now realize that if I make the effort to take care of myself when I am older, we will both have a better chance of having happy and fulfilling lives in the future.
1. Make exercise a priority
Experts say running is great for bone and heart health and mental well-being.
I’ve loved running for years, and I always imagined myself lacing up my sneakers at 70, my silver ponytail swinging.
Experts say running is great for bone and heart health, as well as mental well-being. There is also evidence that regular exercise reduces the risk of breast, bowel and even gynaecological cancer.
I started lifting weights because, in my research into osteoporosis, I’ve learned that strength is very important as we age. It’s also important for regaining confidence after a fracture.
At first, lifting weights was scary and I was afraid of hurting myself, but with the help of a trainer and a physiotherapist, I now love it. I have also started doing pilates, which is great for improving core strength, balance and preventing falls. I hope it will help protect me from further fractures.
Exercise is also very good for psychological health. Going for a run alone in nature is a moment of meditation. Hiking with my husband in the countryside allows us to spend precious hours together, just the two of us.
Like many women with busy lives, I thought I didn’t have time to exercise more. The reality is, I don’t have enough time to not do it.
2. Eat well and maintain a healthy weight
I haven’t had any alcohol in years and I’m already grateful for it. Alcohol damages the cells that form bones and makes you more prone to falls and injuries.
Because I lead a very hectic life, I sometimes forget to eat. Depriving myself of nutrition is a very bad idea, so I am making an effort to maintain regular meal times.
We need more protein as we age, so I eat more salmon, chicken and other protein sources, as well as lots of vegetables and fruits. I have also started taking calcium and vitamin D supplements, which are great for bone health.
But let’s not get too saintly or boring: I like to savour elegant chocolates on a Saturday night in front of a Scandi Noir.
Osteoporosis has actually completely changed my way of thinking about this topic. Before my diagnosis, my goal was to be thin. Now, my goal is to be strong. I am proud of my newly defined muscles.
3. Do not take too much medication
Drug treatments are a controversial topic when it comes to osteoporosis and other serious diseases.
My personal choice is to continue with the treatments. I am receiving a treatment of injections for a year that prevent bone loss and allow new bone to be rebuilt.
After that, I will move on to another medication and hope to be on treatment for the rest of my life.
I also take a statin daily to control hereditary high cholesterol.
But if I can avoid taking more medications, I would love to do so, especially since all medications have potential side effects.
Many women with osteoporosis avoid drugs and rely on diet and exercise to keep bone loss at bay. It’s a personal choice. My opinion is that the risks of not taking the drugs outweigh the potential danger of rare serious side effects. In any case, for me it’s not an either/or choice, but a both/and choice. I’m taking the drugs and dieting and exercising.
4. Stay creative and sociable.
I want my 70-year-old self to know that I have no intention of giving up on her.
I know my 70-year-old self will sometimes feel alone: osteoporosis is a terrifying, incurable disease in which bones weaken, leaving people vulnerable to devastating fractures.
However, because it is associated with older women, it is swept under the rug. It is under-researched, stigmatized and often undiagnosed. Broken bones lead to broken lives and spirits. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
The widespread negativity surrounding osteoporosis casts a dark cloud over my hopes for myself when I’m 70, so I’m going to do everything I can to remain creative, productive, energetic and sociable.
I want my 70-year-old self to know that I have no intention of giving it up. I have loved fashion all my life, and at 70, I will still want to be fashionable. That is a great incentive to continue exercising, eating healthy, and following my drug treatment regimen, in the hopes of keeping my bones strong and avoiding a hunchback and loss of height.
Loneliness is a major risk factor for heart problems, cancer, and premature death. I hope to remain social by cultivating relationships with my family and friends now and making new ones.
5. If things don’t go as planned, stay positive
There are “what ifs” that swarm around in my head like a cloud of black moths. I’m sure I’m not the only one. What if I had a series of fractures? What if I was in constant pain?
I can’t put the lid back on Pandora’s box, but I have found that it helps to turn my fears into positive actions.
One of the best things I did was get involved with the Royal Osteoporosis Society, for which I am now one of their business ambassadors. They have a specialist nurse helpline and amazing online resources, including diet advice, information on drug treatments, videos on how to exercise safely and a network of local support groups.
This letter is actually about some gifts I’m trying to give my future self now, if she’s lucky enough to celebrate her 70th birthday. I don’t want to tempt fate, just do the best I can for her.