The kinky sex movements that you have to explore with your partner – and the ones that you should ALWAYS say no to

You are in bed when your partner turns to you and says: & I wanted to ask you. I would really like to try something new in bed. & # 39;

The & # 39; something & # 39; that they whisper in your ear is a sexual activity that you have never heard of or that you have never considered doing.

You don't want to be prudish by saying a rule no … but how do you know if it is something the average couple is doing?

What kind of things are OK to say yes and what should you worry about?

You are about to find out.

It goes without saying that you should never do anything sexual that you absolutely do not want to do.

Tracey Cox reveals the 15 sexy kinks that it is safe to try with a partner to warm things up in the bedroom, including temperature play and anal

Tracey Cox reveals the 15 sexy kinks that it is safe to try with a partner to warm things up in the bedroom, including temperature play and anal

But always remember: someone & # 39; nod & # 39; is & # 39; Yuck! & # 39; Someone else's.

Even if you prefer to break both your arms than what your partner suggests, respect that it is their & # 39; thing & # 39; is. It is not your place to make them feel bad.

If you don't want to do something, just say: & # 39; That really doesn't appeal to me. Sorry. But what about finding something new to try? & # 39 ;.

Are you a little curious but want to be able to stop if you do not enjoy it, then make that clear.

All the following peculiarities are worth exploring and, practiced wisely, safe to try. (Yes, even that.)

QUIRKS WORTH EXPLORING:

Spanking

More than three-quarters of the women in a survey in the UK said they had tried and that they liked spanking; 70 percent said they wanted their partner to do it more often.

Tracey suggests that & # 39; watersport & # 39; can be less risky during sex than unprotected oral or vaginal sex

Tracey suggests that & # 39; watersport & # 39; can be less risky during sex than unprotected oral or vaginal sex

Tracey suggests that & # 39; watersport & # 39; can be less risky during sex than unprotected oral or vaginal sex

Sales of spanking devices – whips, paddles, crops – shot up when the first Fifty Shades struck and – more interestingly – stayed that way.

It's fun, it's low risk and most people love it. Don't forget to experience turns that you are beaten and spanker!

Play temperature

Have you ever stepped out of a hot sauna into an ice-cold swimming pool? That is the temperature game.

It is based on the idea that you will feel something more intense if it is very different from anything else.

Think of ice cubes on hot skin, heated or cooled glass dildos. Nearly half of all men and women in the UK have tried the temperature game and found it the best.

Watching porn together

Women account for almost a third of the online viewers of Pornhub. Not only do women watch porn, we look at the unreliable things!

Pornhub analyzes show that women are 113 percent more inclined to use the term & # 39; hardcore & # 39; to search than men.

Only 12 percent of women who watch porn do it with their partner, but those who say it has improved their sex life and communication about sex.

Masturbate for each other

Highly recommended if you want a view of the front seat on how you can give your partner pleasure. Being able to lean back and give full attention to watching your partner's orgasm is not only a huge move for most, it is also a valuable lesson about which technique, speed, pressure they enjoy the most.

If you are ashamed of being watched, close your eyes.

Play anal

What is the part of the body with the highest concentration of nerve endings next to your genitals? Your bottom!

Playing anal was once taboo, but now many sexually adventurous couples discover the erotic potential.

But although I would like to say that there is no & # 39; correct & # 39; or & # 39; wrong & # 39; way to have sex, there are some rules that you should really follow when it comes to anal play (or anal sex).

First read some practical manuals on this (you will find a lot on traceycox.com) and take baby steps.

Tracey recommends masturbating for a partner to understand which technique, speed and pressure they enjoy the most

Tracey recommends masturbating for a partner to understand which technique, speed and pressure they enjoy the most

Tracey recommends masturbating for a partner to understand which technique, speed and pressure they enjoy the most

Anal sex

It is one of those things that used to be taboo, but is now fairly common.

A survey in Britain found among women who had had anal sex during their last sex encounter, 93.5 percent reported an orgasm. For comparison: 65.9 percent of people with vaginal sex had orgasms.

This does not mean that the anal sex itself caused the orgasms, but it does suggest that it is pleasant for some women.

If you plan it well, you follow the rules (again, do your research) and take time over a certain period, there is no reason why it should be painful. (Again, lots of info about this on my website.)

Many women really like it: it is a myth that women only do it to please men.

Use sex toys together

Most women use vibrators for solo sex, some feel nervous by using them with a partner for fear that he thinks his penis is not enough.

To be honest, that is often not the case.

Why not use sex toys when you have sex with a partner, that is more the question.

If you've never had an orgasm, your best chance of a vibrator is.

If you've never had an orgasm during a penetration, it's a vibrator that takes you there.

If you've never had an orgasm with your partner, the best way to invite your vibrator to bed is with the two of you.

If you want an orgasm faster, a vibrator is the best choice.

For most women, nothing – not even damn fine oral sex – can make us orgasm easier and more effectively than vibrations.

Knowing that you can grasp your familiar feeling when it takes too long to reach a climax takes away the pressure from both of you.

The sexpert recommends involving sex toys in the bedroom - suggesting that it is a & # 39; loyal & # 39; is a friend who can lead to better orgasms

The sexpert recommends involving sex toys in the bedroom - suggesting that it is a & # 39; loyal & # 39; is a friend who can lead to better orgasms

The sexpert recommends involving sex toys in the bedroom – suggesting that it is a & # 39; loyal & # 39; is a friend who can lead to better orgasms

Share fantasies

Everyone fantasizes – but not everyone wants to know what his partner dreams of it.

It may sound like one of the safest quirks to try, but sharing fantasies can get you in a lot of warm water.

First rule: never share fantasies about people you know or are likely to meet for obvious reasons.

Also remember that your idea of ​​a hot fantasy can take hell out of your partner – especially when it comes to something very & # 39; outside & # 39; or out of character.

Keep it tame until you know how adventurous your partner really is and always share a fantasy in advance with why you share it.

Do you want to talk it out or simply share it to excite?

Have sex in (semi) public

Unless you're talking about doing it in Dubai or an equally conservative country, this one is pretty safe to enjoy.

Within reasonable.

Public sex is illegal, so you must use common sense when choosing where and at what time of the day. You want the sensation of knowing that you could be discovered without its reality.

Avoid shame by doing it where you are not discovered by someone you know when caught.

Push clothing to the side instead of completely removing it and if full sex is too risky, stick to the foreplay.

(Mild) BDSM

Strength games, tying, pulling hair, biting or getting bitten – mild BDSM is cheap (bondage kits and handcuffs are relatively cheap) or free (use an old scarf, tie or panty) and a lot of sexual teasing is needed.

It is all about one person being dominant and another submissive.

Let someone who is usually submissive be the boss or the dominant person is the buyer and you both get a big, sexy power kick.

WAIT NOT TO SAY

Each for their own, but one of the following are high risk for the average pair.

Everything related to sex with other people

Yes, I know I have sex clubs under the list & # 39; OK to try & # 39; but that is only if you both look and don't touch each other.

The problem with everything that another living, warm body interacts with each other or with both of you is that couples who love each other usually have trouble seeing their partners with other people.

Most of us are quite territorial with our partners and no matter how you imagine, you really can't prepare for what it feels like to see someone else kiss / touch / caress / have sex with your partner. Or watch your partner see how you do it.

Many people have threesomes or group sex when drunk, stoned or using drugs, and while it seems like a great idea at the time, someone is always blamed for later.

Jealousy is a big problem and that also applies to trust: couples who had group sex sometimes said that the relationship of trust was broken.

Others later feel guilty or disgusted with themselves. Sometimes those feelings come in: once you've had an orgasm, the feeling can quickly change from sexy to nasty.

The risks outweigh the benefits for most (although there are some safe, mature, adventurous couples who handle it with few problems).

Everything that hurts (in a bad way)

There is a gap of difference between the & # 39; Oww! & # 39; type of pain that is felt by a well-placed blow and pain that really hurts.

Ditto, feeling a warmed glass dildo rolled your thighs against candle wax dripping super sensitive somewhere.

Some forms of & # 39; extreme & # 39; BDSM are dangerous. Don't take it easy: people die from doing things like this.

If you want to dive into the dark end, first investigate (and do a lot) and do not involve anyone who is not 100% on board.

Unless you are a true devotee, I strongly advise you to stay at the mild, playful end.

Pain is a warning. It means & # 39; Stop! & # 39 ;.

Having any type of BDSM experience with someone you don't know well or implicitly trusts is also dangerous.

Suffocation

It also becomes & # 39; breath play & # 39; called, making it sound the way it sounds, way too innocent.

Cutting off the flow of oxygen to intensify the orgasm is something that sounds as dangerous as it is.

Learn from the various celebrities who died and went terribly wrong: death is not uncommon, it is common.

Everything that threatens your health

This includes everything from & # 39; Let's not use a condom & # 39; to switch between anal and vaginal intercourse (never do this: the bacteria in the anus do not belong in the vagina). Pushing things that do not belong in the vagina (even if it is something as innocent as food) can cause all kinds of irritations – or damage if the object is too large.

Everything you don't want to do, but you feel forced to do

Every sexual act – no matter how innocent – becomes ugly when you don't want to do something, but feel pressured.

While it's good to be open to trying new things, if you feel any kind of coercion from your partner – physically or emotionally (& # 39; If you don't want to & # 39; do it, I will find someone who wants & # 39;) – get yourself out of the situation quickly. Once you have done that, you get yourself out of the relationship.

It is one thing that requires; a very different threat.

Set rules and limits and have a code word for & # 39; Stop & # 39; (and a partner who knows stop means stop) and this can be the & # 39; normal & # 39; to make.

electrostimulation

Not as scary as it sounds, & # 39; electro sex & # 39; is a way to stimulate the sexual organs and erogenous zones with a safe amount of electrical energy.

The toy or a conductive pad is placed somewhere on your body (such as your genitals) to allow electricity to pass through the nerve cells. This makes you super sensitive to the touch and creates sensations that range from a tingling sensation to a strong pulsating sensation that causes the muscles to contract.

Sounds strange, feels good!

A sex workshop

If you live in a city, there are plenty of events and locations to choose from if you want to know more about sex or sexual techniques.

The School of Life (London and international) has lessons in love and sex, female-friendly sex shops offer instruction lessons on everything from spanking to oral sex.

Some couples like tantric sex weekends. These can relate to getting naked and / or doing sensual / sexual things in front of others, but not for long (and if you choose a reputable person, you will never be forced to do something you don't want).

There is a sex workshop that can handle almost any need: whether you are mainly looking for information or an experience.

Go to a strip bar or a skate dance club together

It's a great way to enjoy a threesome of fantasy without really having one, or if you're a little bi-curious and just want to look and maybe flirt but don't want to go further.

Many chic strip and lap dance bars now have a clientele of smart, young couples: choose carefully and avoid the heady boy-night brigade.

Women often get just as much attention from strippers as the boys, although it is the person who does the tipping that gets the most attention.

Just being in a sexy environment is enough to make the pulses for some couples race, while others continue to dance a lap dance together.

Water sports (& # 39; golden showers & # 39;).

This is a fetish play in which one person pees on another. This is usually done in the bath (for obvious reasons).

Although it is (clearly) not for everyone, exposure to urine is less risky than unprotected vaginal or anal sex and less risky than oral sex.

Why would people want to do it?

It can be a humiliation. Or it may just be because it is kinky and & # 39; prohibited & # 39; is. Some people get started because they have seen their partner pee in the shower and have been turned on by sight.

Water sports are generally considered harmless.

But urine is not sterile and bacteria are always present even in healthy people. If they are not healthy, infections can be transmitted through their urine. Do not go there if you have an open wound or irritated, broken skin.

A sex club … just to watch

Killing Kittens, the Eureka Club, The Skirt Club – nowadays there's a sex party to cater for just about every taste.

Guess who they are particularly popular with?

Yup – women.

Go to one that lets you watch without the pressure to get involved (see the & # 39; Quirks that can put you in trouble & # 39;).

This idea will greatly appeal to or frighten life out of you.

If you think that you feel intimidated rather than disturbed, don't go there. Ditto if you are both jealous. (Even if you go and don't participate, you look at each other while other people torment the big, green monster.)

Do you want more information about the & # 39; oddities & # 39; mentioned here? You will find it on traceycox.com and the Tracey range.

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