James Bond creator Ian Fleming is probably someone worth listening to. After all, he sold more than 60 million books and created a movie franchise that grossed billions.
Fleming loved Jamaica. He first went there in 1943 as a senior intelligence officer to attend an Anglo-American conference in Kingston, intended to address the problem of German submarines in the Caribbean.
“When we’ve won this damn war, I’m going to live in Jamaica,” he said. “Just live in Jamaica, enjoy yourself, swim in the sea and write books.”
Which is pretty much what she did: stay in her Golden Eye villa (now part of a luxurious and expensive hotel complex) and hang out with the likes of Noel Coward.
Of course, the island has changed dramatically since those days (for starters, there are no pesky submarines) and I wonder what Fleming would think of the growing number of all-inclusive resorts, such as the Grand Palladium, near Montego Bay in the north. west coast, where I am staying. I suspect he would approve wholeheartedly, especially since you pay for everything upfront and then go with whatever you like. A cocktail after breakfast? Thank you so much.
The Grand Palladium has just undergone a £20 million renovation, adding many rooms and suites (there are now no less than 1,000 in total) and new restaurants. They’ve also toned down the color, from vivid Caribbean hues to a sort of muted all-purpose neutral. Which is a shame: you could be in Bruges and not the Caribbean.
Big is what the Grand Palladium is all about. In fact, it boasts the largest pool in Jamaica, and if you want something bigger, there’s nothing stopping you from using the facilities at the Grand Palladium Lady Hamilton Resort & Spa right next door, which is part of the same group.
But it’s also about great value. You can stay here for £50 a night per person, all-inclusive. Golf carts transport you if rum punches prove dangerous or you can’t be bothered to walk.
Roger Alton checks in at the Grand Palladium (pictured) on the northwest coast of Jamaica
Above, the resort’s main pool, said to be the largest in Jamaica.
The resort has recently increased its number of rooms, bringing the total to 1,000, reveals Roger.
It all seemed a little overwhelming at first, but it’s surprising how quickly you get used to resort life (and the soft sandy beaches help, of course).
The hotel is a magnet for locals (a good sign) as well as many Americans and Europeans. These are quiet times if there is not a vigorous Jamaican wedding going on.
Families are also a big problem. As Dana from Michigan pointed out as we stood in line for our excellent breakfast omelets: “Thank goodness for the kids’ club,” she said. ‘There is a brilliant team there that takes great care of our little ones. We will return as soon as we can.
I may have lost count, but I think there are ten restaurants: Indian, Mexican, Japanese, Italian, Jamaican, etc.
But food is not the resort’s strong point. Honestly, the tastiest meal we had was in a hut off the reserve, so to speak, on the way to the Martha Brae River. I’ve avoided idiot shacks most of my life – big mistake.
We were visiting Martha Brae for a trip on a bamboo raft, floating gently under the trees and foliage along a three-mile stretch, passing small bars and craft stalls. It’s not Olympic kayaking, sure, but it’s a wonderful way to spend the afternoon.
Another highlight was a catamaran trip organized by the hotel, with frequent stops to cool off in Jamaica’s inviting waters. I love the Caribbean, but sometimes I’m aware that some locals don’t like us white people very much.
If you get the chance, a visit to the excellent cultural center in bustling Montego Bay will help explain why.
Guests can enjoy a relaxing massage by the ocean (file image)
During his stay, Roger (not pictured) visits the Martha Brae River for a trip on a bamboo raft.
You’ll learn about Jamaican culture and the Rastafarian religion, and see an extraordinary set of exhibits about the island’s shocking history of slavery. It doesn’t make you feel all that proud of our past, let’s face it.
Perhaps it is best to leave the last word to Christopher Columbus, who landed in Jamaica in May 1494 and is on the same team as James Bond.
In his diary he wrote: “The most beautiful island that eyes have ever beheld: the mountains and the land seem to touch the sky… all full of valleys, fields and plains.”
I would have to add all-inclusive to that list today.