& # 39; They will hate it, it doesn't feel natural & # 39 ;: Constance Hall is slammed online after the controversial mummy blogger says stepparents NEVER have to discipline their partner's children
- The Australian mummy blogger Constance Hall is known for her outspoken views
- She recently said that stepparents should never discipline their partner's children
- Fans rejected the claim that stepparents are entitled to involvement
- Some urged Constance to remember how difficult it is to be a step-parent
The Australian mummy blogger Constance Hall has been slammed because they say that stepparents should never discipline their partner's children.
The mother of seven, herself a step-parent who shares her mixed brood with husband Denim Cooke, claimed in a long Facebook post on Thursday evening.
The post, titled & # 39; Do & # 39; s and don & # 39; ts from step-parenting & # 39 ;, soon delivered thousands of likes and streams of responses from social media users, the vast majority of whom objected against her attitude to discipline.
The Australian mummy blogger Constance Hall (photo) has come under fire for her position on stepparents
"Don't discribe someone else's child (toddlers and younger ones are different, they need it for their own safety. Dr. Phil says that if you come into their lives after three years, no to discipline)," wrote Constance.
& # 39; They'll hate it – it won't feel natural or fair. The only reason a parent can discipline his child is because that child knows exactly how much his parent loves him. & # 39;
A mother replied that although she loves Constance and her content, her last post & # 39; step-parenting from one view of view & # 39; is.
& # 39; Agree with most things, but not with the discipline bit. Discipline is not negative if done properly, and I think all children will prosper if it is gentle and consistent, & she wrote.
& # 39; This is good advice, but don't forget how difficult it can be for a step-parent and it requires a lot of support and love from the bio-parent. It can sometimes be a very thankless job, & another user commented.
The mother of seven, herself a step-parent, shares her mixed brood with husband Denim Cooke (left)
Someone else said they disagree, because & # 39; children need discipline and boundaries for most of their childhood & # 39; and stepparents should be involved as long as their method of discipline is consistent with that of the biological parent.
But at least one fellow mother shared Constance's view and said she had learned from personal experience how discipline can be destructive to a child and step-parent relationship.
& # 39; Stepparents should be able to tell a child that behavior is not acceptable, but punishment or consequences must be instituted and delivered by the biological parent & # 39 ;, she said.
Two hours after her first post, Constance responded to the flood of comments and encouraged others to work for & # 39; whatever works for them & # 39; and says that parenting has a role of & # 39; each for itself & # 39; is.
Constance (pictured with two of her children) believes that stepparents should never discipline their stepchildren after the age of three
Constance Hall & # 39; s full post about step-parenting & # 39; Do & # 39; s and don & # 39; ts
Not … expect to be a new parent, some children have 1 parent, some 2. No parent I know has NEVER peeled with a partner because they cannot handle parenting alone.
Expect … a new possible lifelong bond. The fact that you are not a replacement parent does not mean that your role in this child's life cannot be one of the most close and connected relationships this child will ever have.
Don't expect things to be easy. Oh God no. Expect it to be heavy, very heavy. Not every relationship survives and that's OK.
Do …. expect it to be worth it. The feeling that you get when your stepchild comes running towards you at school and flies into your arms is worth it. If you were tolerant enough to survive, you're worth it.
Don't … discipline the child of another (toddlers and youngsters are different, they need it for their own safety. Dr. Phil says if you come into their life after 3 no to discipline). They will hate it, it doesn't feel natural or just. The only reason a parent can discipline a child is because that child knows exactly how much his parent loves him.
Do … spend one by one with the child, have a special ritual that only the two of you do. Like riding or sneaking in an ice cream on Friday after school.
Don't say … tell your partner how to raise the child. Many single parents have ridiculed ex-decisions, to also let a new lover come in and get angry with you for not following their advice, they may fall over the edge.
Support … the decisions of your partners. If you want to support your partner, strengthen his decision, but always wait and let the biological parent do it.
Don't … do your own children in a noticeable way. You will probably favor your own children, it is human nature. And you will probably have all kinds of excuses to justify that "my child is older, we don't see my child that often, my child behaves better" etc. Etc. The truth is that whatever you say, from the child's perspective, it is unjustifiable. So you have to keep it to yourself.
Remember that everyone who has made you believe in the sacred relationship between a parent and a child has a lot of faith in you, there must be a good reason for that, you have decided to stay despite knowing how difficult it is. We often stay with people with whom we have children much longer than we should because we naively "do it for the children", but you have been chosen as a stepparent for no other reason than you are who you are.
Never forget that love is chosen between you and a stepchild of love, you are all together because of love, not because of circumstances and as difficult as that is, it is quite special.
Source: Constance Hall Facebook
"I am not only speaking from personal experience, but I have also interviewed one of the most prominent psychologists in the country and he fully agrees with Dr. Phil's feelings," she said.
& # 39; In my opinion, if they were ever disrespectful to Denim, my children would know very well that they would be at my house, so they would never treat him in a way that they would not treat me.
& # 39; This message is written to the step parent, not the parent. It is written to someone who thinks they should come in and start new rules and timeouts, etc. But if the biological parent has asked for that help, go for it! Discipline gone! It's just not the way we roll, & she ended.
Most people agreed with Constance & # 39; s other views, including equal attention to biological and stepchildren, expecting to have a lifelong bond with your stepchild and to support your partner's decisions.
. (TagsToTranslate) Dailymail (t) femail